or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › The Granola Extreme
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Granola Extreme - Page 7

post #121 of 327
I've been thinking about this topic with respect to food a lot lately. Is it just me, or is there a tendency here (MDC) to think people are either feeding their kids Wonderbread, Lunchables, and McDonalds, or they're feeding them a 100% organic diet with everything made from scratch.

I honestly don't know anybody who does either. I know a few who are very close to the "Wonderbread and McDonalds" thing, and a few others who are almost 100% organic. But, I don't know anybody who is 100% on either end. It's as though the whole spectrum is totally invisible, except the really extreme ends.

Maybe it's just me. I have a lot of issues with food, so I might be hyper-sensitive on this topic.
post #122 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by AntoninBeGonin View Post
Visualizing someone pushing a stroller around the house as they stack the dishwasher

~Nay
um after my c-section i could not sling my son and i did just that! my sister has terrible back problems and did this with her babies, too! it is really possible to push a stroller into each room you are in so you can set the baby down and have him able to see you and you see him while you wash a dish or make lunch.
that way you are within arms reach at all times, which, if you are an AP mom, ie someone who wants to respond to the babys cries in order to promote attachment, you can respond ASAP if they start to fuss, and they are near you instead of in the other room laying somewhere cuz you cant lift them for more than 5 minutes while standing.

again, its really hard to say these tools are bad. i am glad i had a stroller. my son did not live in it and spent much more time in my arms or in his dads arms, but when his dad was at work and i needed to get up and do a few things, i was glad i thought of keeping the stroller inside. we didnt own a crib or a playpen, nor did we want to, so this was really helpful for me and my infant.
post #123 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I honestly don't know anybody who does either. I know a few who are very close to the "Wonderbread and McDonalds" thing, and a few others who are almost 100% organic. But, I don't know anybody who is 100% on either end.
It's funny, I was laughing at my "tribal forum" the other day as almost everyone (active that is) was comparing their favorite fast food and chain restaurants. It just never seemed to dawn on anyone that spending money there on cr*ppy food seems at odds w/slings and bf.
post #124 of 327
Great thread.

Rivka, very interesting post.

All I have to add is that babywearing, cosleeping, and breastfeeding are AP tools. They are not AP. AP is an attitude towards parenting.

That being said - having found that the AP philosophy resonates with me, I am finding it easier to wade throuh the reams of information on parenting supplied by my doctor, the health region, my bookstore, my mommy friends, my mother, her book club, my in-laws, the internet, Dr. Phil, strangers in the checkout line, and the guy begging for bottles at the recycling bin. A little dogma every once in awhile just makes life easier.
post #125 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I've been thinking about this topic with respect to food a lot lately. Is it just me, or is there a tendency here (MDC) to think people are either feeding their kids Wonderbread, Lunchables, and McDonalds, or they're feeding them a 100% organic diet with everything made from scratch.

I honestly don't know anybody who does either. I know a few who are very close to the "Wonderbread and McDonalds" thing, and a few others who are almost 100% organic. But, I don't know anybody who is 100% on either end. It's as though the whole spectrum is totally invisible, except the really extreme ends.

Maybe it's just me. I have a lot of issues with food, so I might be hyper-sensitive on this topic.
No, it's not just you! I mean, we do our best. We don't eat much organic except a few key things that are known to be more contaminated; it's just too expensive for us. But we do eat mostly whole foods. Except when we don't! I mean, I would never, ever, ever spend money on those crappy lunchables. Except that I did when we were remodeling out kitchen. Like you said, I know a few people who are at either extreme, but most people are just like us -- pretty good habits most of the time, but not averse to the occasional fast food meal. I'm having surgery tomorrow, and you can bet that DH will be heating up some frozen pizzas and/or taking the kids to a burger joint for dinner! It's not the best, but in the big nutritional picture, I don't think it'll hurt any of us.

But I digress. Yes, I think there's that impression or feeling or whatever. That if you're not 100% organic vegan, then you're just shoving crap down your kids' throat day and night.
post #126 of 327
:

this thread is so interesting! I find in alot of circles your NFL or crunchiness is like a competition of sorts. :

also I think it's "trendy" latley to be NFL.

I also think there's a bit of insecurity about choices involved too. I see it alot on MDC too, I don't need to read your checklists or justify my own choices! we are all doing our best!

my kids do watch tv (dvd's) and we do eat junk on occasion (and sometimes more often) what business is it of anyone else though? don't pity me for my choices! (that's almost laughable!)
post #127 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptownzoo View Post
But I digress. Yes, I think there's that impression or feeling or whatever. That if you're not 100% organic vegan, then you're just shoving crap down your kids' throat day and night.
Thanks. As I said, I know this is a topic that I'm sensitive about. But, sometimes, I come away from here feeling like I'm shoving crap down my kid's throats - then I say something about my feelings to dh, and he just laughs at me. He says I feed our family better than anyone else he knows. I guess I just focus too much on the fact that we only eat half whole wheat pasta (too expensive ) and we have white rice in the house because it's quick, and we eat non-organic veggies. I totally overlook that my kids are snacking on cheese, nuts and fruit and that we eat almost all whole grains and things like that. Maybe food is the area that I have the most trouble giving myself credit in...
post #128 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Is it just me, or is there a tendency here (MDC) to think people are either feeding their kids Wonderbread, Lunchables, and McDonalds, or they're feeding them a 100% organic diet with everything made from scratch.
I find that with A LOT things, not just food. There seems to be two very different extremes in a lot of things. But as for food, I agree with you. We eat a lot of less then (MDC) perfect things for various reasons, but are by far the most conscientious people we know. When people come to our house to eat they are always taken aback by the fact that we eat from scratch. I made beef stew for dinner last night and my FIL's girlfriend stopped by after work and had a bowl, then proceeded to ask what brand of packaged stew mix I used! She was shocked that it was "home made" and tasted so good, AND was low sodium, and about 60% organic. So while everything may not be totally organic, I can at least take solice in the fact that we eat low sodium whole foods that are not chalked full of preservatives, fillers, and other junk.
post #129 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
We eat a lot of less then (MDC) perfect things for various reasons, but are by far the most conscientious people we know.
I hear you.

I realized the other day that my 3 year old is a more accomplished cook than one of my closest male friends.

Seriously, my 3 year old knows how to make banana smoothies, turkey sandwiches, and porridge (though he needs help with the stove). My friend J can boil hotdogs and make toast and that is about it - I swear, he also needs help with the stove and he is 37.

The baseline is pretty darn low, I am finding.
post #130 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivka5 View Post
It's like the bar is continually set higher and higher - first for what is considered ideal, and then for what is considered *minimally* acceptable.

For example:

Mothers should breastfeed for at least a year.
Mothers should breastfeed for at least a year, without EVER supplementing with formula.
Mothers should breastfeed for at least TWO years without supplementing.
Mothers should breastfeed for at least two years, AND breastmilk should be the primary source of calories until children are over two.
Mothers should breastfeed for MORE than two years.

Or, for GD:

Parents should not use physical punishment or humiliation.
Parents should not use time-out.
Parents should not use ANY form of punishment.
Parents should not criticize.
Parents should not use rewards.
Parents should not praise.
Parents should rescue their children from natural consequences.
Parents should not use distraction or playful techniques which are manipulative.
Parents should be careful not to indicate approval or disapproval of their children's behavior.

The "right way" keeps getting redefined to include fewer and fewer people. Delaying solids until 6 months is no longer enough - now people are being urged to start later and later, and then to only give "tastes" of solids until after the first year. Keeping your child rear-facing to the seat's weight limit is no longer enough - now people are being urged to buy new seats with higher rear-facing limits. And so on.
Rivka, you have forgotten the diaper part:
- Parents should change a wet/dirty diaper
- Parents should only use cloth
- Parents should only use EC: diapers are not GD

I enjoy this discussion. It shows that guilt is a very, very strong motivator for so many people, me included. A lot of posters post with guilt of not having performed to the highest ideal of GD or AP. Then, yes, as Yooper was saying a couple pages up on this thread they're really looking for someone to ease this guilt but noone can really do that...The very best advice I got from this community - and I got a lot - was when I asked for advice without feeling guilty over what I'd done wrong, just with a genuine wish to do better in the future. Our children will thrive even if we raised them less than ideal -- whatever our ideal was. They will thrive so long as they see their parents accepting of themselves, of their choices and showing the same acceptance for them as kids. What counts is just trying to do better than what we did yesterday --in the sense of having a more peaceful and harmonious relationship with those around us. Not that we will succeed every day...
post #131 of 327
For me we do nfl for health reasons and no other reason. I have an interest in health and nutrition and want to have my kids the healthiest they can be. I am not interested in the politcs that come along with being crunchy cause I dont ever want to be labelled or put in a box. Funny alot of people go crunchy to get out of a box and just end up back in one. I dont consider myself crunchy. I do everything that a "crunchy" person" might do but I tend to shy away from people liking me for what I do, rather than just being who I am. What I do could change tomorrow, but I hopefully will be the same person.
post #132 of 327
What I dont understand is this, if someone can clarify this for me that would be great! #not aloud to spank turns into not aloud to ground or give time ours turns into not aloud to give consequences unless"natural" turns into why the heck does anyone have parents anyways? DOnt understand why, but It doesnt seem right, Im all for balance, but it seems people have taken GD and crunchiness toooo far. Am I the only one who feels this way? And please explain to me why you parent that way? respectfully)
post #133 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by chloeM View Post
What I dont understand is this, if someone can clarify this for me that would be great! #not aloud to spank turns into not aloud to ground or give time ours turns into not aloud to give consequences unless"natural" turns into why the heck does anyone have parents anyways? DOnt understand why, but It doesnt seem right, Im all for balance, but it seems people have taken GD and crunchiness toooo far. Am I the only one who feels this way? And please explain to me why you parent that way? respectfully)
That is probably a question for the GD forum specifically But I would like to point out that just because a family does not use punishments does not mean there are not boundries or guidance for children. I parent in a way that I feel is most respectful to my kids and to the rest of our family and I assure you that is far cry from what you would expect to see of children with no parental figures at all :
post #134 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
I made beef stew for dinner last night and my FIL's girlfriend stopped by after work and had a bowl, then proceeded to ask what brand of packaged stew mix I used! She was shocked that it was "home made" and tasted so good, AND was low sodium, and about 60% organic. So while everything may not be totally organic, I can at least take solice in the fact that we eat low sodium whole foods that are not chalked full of preservatives, fillers, and other junk.
Sorry to go but North of 60, could you please PM me or post here the beef stew recipe? Would be much appreciated!

I WISH that I had some holier than though NFL/AP mommy friends. Pretty much all of my close mommy friends are very mainstream and when if our conversations happens to even touch upon things such as breastfeeding or organic food or discipline or giving birth, I pretty much have to keep my mouth shut because if I proffer an opinion, I will be perceived to be judgmental of their choices. So I stay quiet. (And I am not even that granola - only managed to breastfeed under a year, have never co-slept, used sposies...).
post #135 of 327
Loving this thread.

I am still new here and it was just recently that I noticed the "dark" side of MDC'ers (see now mod review thread "MIL pushy about CD") and how judgemental some mama's here are. But I think it's just that. Some mama's here. And that has nothing to do with NFL or AP, that is just people being critical and needing that acceptance from others. And that is anywhere you go. Seems like when people are secure with themselves and what they do, they are okay to let others figure things out alone, or offer a helping hand and not bash them all over the forum.

What's funny is, this all-or-nothing way of thinking that we're discussing reminds me of an expirement in which a group of children, maybe 10 years old, someone help me with the specifics, heard a story of a man who stole drugs from a pharmacy for his sick wife that he could not afford. When asked if this was right or wrong, the boys in the group almost unanimously felt that this was wrong because stealing is wrong. Very black and white, very immature thought pattern. The girls, OTOH, thought that the man should have talked with the pharmacist and explained his situation, found assistance somehow. Very grey, very willing to see his situation and cater specifically to it.

What has happened to us?!!

When I met my husband I was happy that he was so different from the norm, until I realized that he would never like some of my music, or even listen to it, share all of my views, etc. Then I realized that I had assumed that since he was different, he would be open minded. This was not necessarily true. Still love him, stubborness and all, but to make a point, I think this happens here, too.
post #136 of 327
This is a great discussion! I haven’t read each and every response, but have looked at quite a few and I agree with so many things being said here.

I LOL’d when I saw the “crunchier than thou” phrase. My good friend lives in one a pretty competitive NFL communities, and she has mentioned this. Meanwhile, we live in an area that is definitely on the mainstream side, and we consider ourselves to be much more on the crunchy/granola side ourselves, and we do fall into the camp of doing “what feels right for our family.”

But I also have personally experienced a bit of negative judgment when I brought up in a post that we use disposables. It was a little frustrating b/c there are soooooo many things we do that fit in w/ the NFL lifestyle (no circ, BF, organics, gardening, delayed and selective vax, GD, holistic health, whole foods – mostly vegan, etc) but a few people really wanted to get mad at the *one* thing we don’t do. So, was this being “crunchier than thou”?? Maybe, or maybe it just hit a nerve.

Another example, is that my son has always LOVED his stroller. We did a lot of baby-wearing, but due to a pretty severe accident I was in a few years ago, it got harder for me as he grew bigger and heavier. So, I brought him out and about in his stroller, and he honestly loved it. It shouldn’t be a problem for anyone, yet, I have felt some judgment (not from MDC since this is the first time I’ve mentioned it, but from a NFL local group I’m involved in).

Funny thing is…I never would have guessed that strollers would be so controversial!!

I like this discussion b/c it helps remind me to chill out and not worry so much, and to also take a chill pill about judging what other parents do.
post #137 of 327
I think this is hilarious. I always find the necessity for "pedigrees" to be vastly amusing.

Thou are not Natural Enough! Gasp.

I go back and forth about being on this board. Some days I think I don't fit. Other days I think I fit BEST here compared to anywhere.

For example, I use disposables. I also do EC. Go ahead! Classify ME! I dare you.
post #138 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by chloeM View Post
What I dont understand is this, if someone can clarify this for me that would be great! #not aloud to spank turns into not aloud to ground or give time ours turns into not aloud to give consequences unless"natural" turns into why the heck does anyone have parents anyways? DOnt understand why, but It doesnt seem right, Im all for balance, but it seems people have taken GD and crunchiness toooo far. Am I the only one who feels this way? And please explain to me why you parent that way? respectfully)
No, you're definitely not the only one who feels this way. I never visit the GD board, because I absolutely don't fit there. GD for me means that I don't spank or hit, and I don't use discipline methods that I feel are demeaning; i.e., name-calling, shaming, etc. I do, however, give consequences that aren't necessarily "natural" (time-outs, loss of privileges, early bedtimes, etc.).

So, anyway, the hard-leaning GDers (it's called consensual living; it's worth reading about, even if you're not interested in implementing all the ideas) have something great going in their households, but it's definitely not true that 100% of us lean the same!
post #139 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by chloeM View Post
What I dont understand is this, if someone can clarify this for me that would be great! #not aloud to spank turns into not aloud to ground or give time ours turns into not aloud to give consequences unless"natural" turns into why the heck does anyone have parents anyways? DOnt understand why, but It doesnt seem right, Im all for balance, but it seems people have taken GD and crunchiness toooo far. Am I the only one who feels this way? And please explain to me why you parent that way? respectfully)
Amen. I am right there with you.
post #140 of 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by chloeM View Post
What I dont understand is this, if someone can clarify this for me that would be great! #not aloud to spank turns into not aloud to ground or give time ours turns into not aloud to give consequences unless"natural" turns into why the heck does anyone have parents anyways? DOnt understand why, but It doesnt seem right, Im all for balance, but it seems people have taken GD and crunchiness toooo far. Am I the only one who feels this way? And please explain to me why you parent that way? respectfully)
Because for me, the more I learned about GD, GD became less about "not spanking" and more about "respectful parenting". I'm not all the way to consensual living, but I'm working on it, and it's something I wouldn't know anything about if it weren't for the EXTREME mamas here on MDC

In fact, I don't think MDC would have anything of value for me if not for the EXTREME mamas. I wouldn't have learned a darned thing from this site if all the information were middle-of-the-road :yawning:
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › The Granola Extreme