Temper Tantrums

[Cujobunny]

DS has added tantrums to his repertoire lately... I was discussing them with my mother and she laughed and told me about how she used to make fun of me when I had them when I was little - one time she held a mirror in front of my face so I could see what I looked like. No wonder I had such low self esteem growing up :

[katallen]

I found hugs and talking in a calm and understanding way helped a lot. You don't have to give into a tantrum to let your child know that you understand their frustration. As dd got older talking about what we were not getting at the store helped also. She did go through several months when she didn't want hugs and when her tantrums were explosive just after turning three, but now we are back into the hugs and talking stage. Follow your sons lead, if he seems to need hugs give them and if he needs space give him space but make sure he knows that you are there for him and love him.

I also wanted to add that what your mother did was harsh, but when you have put up with tantrums for a few years you may start to understand her sheer frustration and her absolute desire to end the constant crying. That doesn't mean that you will resort to those things, but as your child ages you will begin to understand the frustration that comes with behaviors that just don't stop no matter what. Just understanding how overwhelmed my mother felt and knowing how few resources she had has helped me to get over a lot of the anger I had towards my mother.

[Cujobunny]

Originally Posted by katallen

Just understanding how overwhelmed my mother felt and knowing how few resources she had has helped me to get over a lot of the anger I had towards my mother.

That's helpful... I do have some anger towards my mom, but she had me when she was 17, and had 3 more children before she was 25. I was just thinking, well maybe it was because she was a kid herself and didn't know any better?

Anyway, these tantrums are a new thing to me, ds has always been a happy, fairly calm little guy. I have found it easier said than done to remain calm when he's flipping out, but ur post and the article on "crying for connection" have given me some good tools to cope.

Thank you.

[Thompson'sMommy]

My son is 2.5 and just added them as well. It was funny, I read the sticky at the top and a few days later, they came...