TLC Baby Story...Gag! - Page 3

[In Exile]

I know that if anyone was yelling this rediculous constant "push, harder, push" at me- I will yell back telling them to shut the eff up. This yelling at a labouring woman is so weird- for the first time in the life of an adult woman it is suddenly okay to berate her and yell at her?? Seems like giving birth is openingweird gates for some people- all of a sudden anything goes. Or is there any other time were "medical professionals" will feel entitled to loudly yell at a woman??

[stacyann21]

I mean, every time the doctor appeared on screen she was making suggestions about Pitocin, breaking her water, epidural, she's not going to push well enough, blah blah blah. It's pretty disappointing.

:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once

[Full Heart]

Originally Posted by michellejy

I'm glad I'm not the only one totally disturbed by that show. In nearly every episode I've seen, she is in the mother's face screaming at her to push and telling her worst case scenarios about what will happen to the baby. Plus she tends to go on about what the mom is doing wrong while she is pushing rather than being supportive. I really could not deal with someone dragging my legs back like that and yelling at me. :

I caught the end of an episode today and they were applying fundal pressure : . I was shocked! The baby was not stuck, simply coming out op. I cringed cause I can't even imagine someone doing fundal pressure on me like that...and the risks? OMG. And of course she went on about how the mother watched her diet and had a 7 lb baby instead of an 8 lber : . Whatever.

[bikruca]

wow i juswt caught an episode with a planned hb that turned hospital transfer and the midwife was just awful.... poor mama

[In Exile]

Originally Posted by bikruca

wow i juswt caught an episode with a planned hb that turned hospital transfer and the midwife was just awful.... poor mama

Don't know if they cut out all the interactions midwife-labouring woman, but that was certainly not the most empathic midwife ever. Did she tell the woman about posterior positiniong? I would not have felt very supported by that midwife, but maybe we just did not see that in the show.

[Bellita]

In Exile,I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.

[pookel]

Originally Posted by Bellita

In Exile,I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.

The problem is that it is just not true that they can't feel anything. I could feel pretty well with the epidural at full strength, and then they turned it down to half-strength so I could "feel to push" :, and then I felt EVERYTHING. I was screaming in pain at the top of my lungs and couldn't have stopped pushing if I wanted to, and my doctor was STILL trying to direct my pushing. It was really annoying. I don't know why the doctors don't just give the women some space and see how well they're doing with the pushing, and then only direct pushing if they really can't feel anything (which I don't think is usually the case).

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by MotherWren

I just remembered another episode of that show where the midwife was yelling at the laboring mother for moaning.
I'm all for a no-nonsense midwife but CMON!
They would'nt have been able to air that episode if it were me she were talking to like that, not w/out some serious editing

My midwife and nurse actually told me to vocalize while pushing. I was trying to do the hold-your-breath-and-focus-all-your-energy thing, and was making progress, but could have made more while vocalizing. Once I started flapping my lips (think of a horse blowing air through its lips ) my pushes were that much more effective, and little man came out fast.

Originally Posted by stacyann21

:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once

How would one fill that prescription? :

Originally Posted by pookel

The problem is that it is just not true that they can't feel anything. I could feel pretty well with the epidural at full strength, and then they turned it down to half-strength so I could "feel to push" :, and then I felt EVERYTHING. I was screaming in pain at the top of my lungs and couldn't have stopped pushing if I wanted to, and my doctor was STILL trying to direct my pushing. It was really annoying. I don't know why the doctors don't just give the women some space and see how well they're doing with the pushing, and then only direct pushing if they really can't feel anything (which I don't think is usually the case).

I think a lot of the problem is that in our society, women are shown such negative images of pregnancy, labor and delivery as "the norm." Shows like A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby do nothing to negate this idea, nor do they do anything to show women what it could be like. The vast majority of women I've spoken to have no idea the extent to which we (women in general) are capable. I wish more women sought out doulas and midwives to empower them, and that more HCPs were willing to enable women, instead of controlling them and treating pregnancy as an illness.

The mind is an incredibly powerful thing. Imagine how many positive birth stories we'd read if more women were encouraged to discover their inner She-ra!

Sorry, tangent.

[jessjgh1]

I could not feel ANYTHING to push. Although, my midwife and the nurse were very gentle in their pushing instructions and reinforced that I was, indeed, doing something, because I couldn't tell at all. At least they were able to encourage me about that, becuase it was very hard to feel at all like I was actually giving birth, since I could not tell or feel anything.

I'm sure that this is not something that all women experience with an epidural... my understanding is that it happens often enough, but many women can feel by the time they need to push.

Jessica

[pookel]

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

I could not feel ANYTHING to push. Although, my midwife and the nurse were very gentle in their pushing instructions and reinforced that I was, indeed, doing something, because I couldn't tell at all. At least they were able to encourage me about that, becuase it was very hard to feel at all like I was actually giving birth, since I could not tell or feel anything.

That's interesting, it must be different for everyone. I don't want to discount anyone else's experience, but what irks me about mine is that I TOLD them I could feel just fine, and they didn't believe me. They said, "can you feel anything at all?" and I said, "I'm doing kegels." I could have walked if they'd let me. The pain was gone, but I had no trouble moving my muscles. But they still turned the epidural down without giving me a chance to push with it on. I don't understand that. What's the harm in trying?

And then when I was screaming with every contraction, they still felt the need to tell me to push. Uh, it was pretty obvious I was feeling things by then. Oh, and btw, I had a c/s for FTP. Big surprise, huh?

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by stacyann21

:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once

Actually, that would be okay, it'd give you ammunition if anyone tried to tell you BS like giving pedialyte or something instead. The usual reason for giving someone a prescription for something they'd already be doing is so that the person can say "Doctors orders" to anyone who questions it.

[In Exile]

Originally Posted by Bellita

In Exile,I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.

But how does yelling make you feel anything? I understand that with a heavy epidural you might not feel anything, but how does raising your voice change anything?? Does anybody know what I mean??

To me this yelling is very degrading, but I am also not somebody who get's "motivated" by being yelled at and I especially hate when somebody starts raising their voice at me. At told Hubby for example that he is dead meat should he start joining a "pushpushpushharderharderharder" nurse. I cringe even hearing that.

And how exactly is counting until ten helping your little one inside to get oxygen? To me it does sound a bit impossible- you constantly hear, oh, the heart rate went down- but not breathing for 10 seconds over sometimes hours is helping that??

[jessjgh1]

The Dr. Sears Birth book has nice information on pushing. It would discourage the demanding, coaching, loud style. It also does have information on directed pushing, when the mother needs help (either doesn't have the urge, or has epidural with no feeling).

Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this.

It has echoed the other books I'm reading/skimming too (Ina May, Birthing from Within, etc.).

I agree that not many women are motivated positively by "push push" scenarios... the motivation is possibly a sense of urgency and feeling rushed turns things more fearful.

I mentioned the way the midwives and nurses helped me by directing and encouraging and this helped me NOT feel fearful because since I had no feeling at all I was getting scared that I was not even doing anything, but there reassurance made me feel okay.

Still, I really felt like I had missed out on 'birth' since I wasn't even able to tell when to push, or if I was, but that was my reaction to my experience.

Jessica

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this.

That's what my midwife did last week, and it was amazing. She encouraged me to push just a little longer if we were making a lot of progress, but that only happened twice. Every other time, it was all me, and I'm so grateful for that. And she started massaging before I started pushing, which I think helped a lot in keeping me from having any tears, even though I pushed out an 8lber in 20 minutes. And the fact that she trusted me enough to listen when I said, "I'm just going to rest through this contraction." was a big deal. Because, I know that if I had ended up with my UA Violation OB in delivery, there would have been a much different outcome.

Sorry, I'm still high from my awesome birth.

[In Exile]

Originally Posted by sehbub

That's what my midwife did last week, and it was amazing. She encouraged me to push just a little longer if we were making a lot of progress, but that only happened twice. Every other time, it was all me, and I'm so grateful for that. And she started massaging before I started pushing, which I think helped a lot in keeping me from having any tears, even though I pushed out an 8lber in 20 minutes. And the fact that she trusted me enough to listen when I said, "I'm just going to rest through this contraction." was a big deal. Because, I know that if I had ended up with my UA Violation OB in delivery, there would have been a much different outcome.

Sorry, I'm still high from my awesome birth.

Congrats, that wonderful- I hope that I can come back soon and say something like that as well!

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by In Exile

Congrats, that wonderful- I hope that I can come back soon and say something like that as well!

I hope so too!!

The last one was just terrible, and I needed some major healing to help me get over my PTSD from the last delivery.

Thankfully, that's what I got.

[In Exile]

Originally Posted by sehbub

I hope so too!!

The last one was just terrible, and I needed some major healing to help me get over my PTSD from the last delivery.

Thankfully, that's what I got.

Sounds like the last birth was pretty horrfici then? Did you post that one somewhere?

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by In Exile

Sounds like the last birth was pretty horrfici then? Did you post that one somewhere?

I never typed up a birth story from the last one, I don't think. I just couldn't, and really still can't.

A month of bedrest for PTL, labor started and stopped (medically) from 27wk6d to 30wks. Went in to labor for the last time at 5pm on the 30wk mark, and gave birth 33 hours labor after the meds failed to stop my labor.

3lb5oz baby spent a month in the NICU. It was about 8 hours before I got to the NICU to see her, and I didn't recognize my own child.

So yeah, needed some healing. And a 3 1/2 hour labor with 20 minutes of pushing that resulted in an 8lb baby who never left my side? Yeah, that helped.

[ericswifey27]

Congrats to you Sehbub!

My turn next...:

[CalebsMama05]

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this

here's what happened...they said "push longer" and I said "do it your damn self"

and they said "push when you feel like it for as long as you feel like it"

I was just a wee bit crabby at that point.