You know, sometimes I think that you meet the most rabid people in 'new parents' groups...esp. if there are a lot of people who haven't had kids before, KWIM? People seem especially defensive and preachy and wanting to be in control, esp. at the stage where they probably have the least control.
I've found much more "live and let live" attitudes from groups of moms of older kids. I used to go to a lot of MOMS Club meetings, and most of the mamas there were mamas of older kids, and I NEVER felt judged for being non-mainstream. I figure that maybe those moms didn't have anything to 'prove' anymore?
Eh...I could be full of sh!t about that too, I guess. I have this running social theory that 'born-again-ANYTHING' folks are always the most obnoxious, because when you're messing with anything they consider essential to them (and I guess we have to admit, how we choose to parent is a biggie!), it's like a personal attack. Heck, you can see some of that on MotheringDotCommune too, and I would say that the majority of people here try to be conscious of each other's feelings most of the time.
It's never easy to be the loner in the group, though. Real or perceived.