I am a CPM considering an unassisted childbirth

[JuicyPakwan]

Hi,
I am living in Arizona in a rural area the closest midwife is 2 hrs away. I only found one willing to travel and her fee for traveling is outrageous. There is no way I can pay for her. I started going to a doctor with the thought that I may be able to stand a hospital birth but there is no way in heck I will let that man deliver me. My other option is to travel back to Utah and use my old midwife whom is wonderful but the thought of traveling before and after birth such a long distance nauseates me. I am due Dec 1 so I have about 6 months to decide. I have been certified for 2 years haven't practised because of small children and moving. My husband is reluctant to discuss a UC although I am completely comfortable with the idea. Any suggestions would be welcome!

[Lucky Charm]

Hi, i lurk alot in this forum, and have learned so much. My question for you is.....say you did do unassisted, when anyone does unassisted, do they have "backup"? if you cant afford the midwife, and you dislike the doctor, what happens if you change your mind, or say you discover a prolapsed cord?

the only reason i ask, is i have a friend who partcipates in homebirths. her friend decided to have UC. while she was pushing, her husbnad got nervous and called my friend who came over, because they didnt have a midwife to back them up. I am so curious as to how it works.

whats a CPM?

[lorijds]

I don't advocate an unassisted usually, I do think there can be risk involved, but you are a midwife, and you know that, so you are certainly making an informed decision.

Is there a doula or a friend in the area who is comfortable with birth, who can be another set of hands in the rare event that there is dystocia or a resuscitation, or a hemorrhage? My husband would NOT be comfortable being the only person there...but I know he woudl be more comfortable if there were others there, who could be responsible if something happened.

Is there an apprentice in the area who might be interested in attending your birth as a helper, not as a midwife? Or just a friend who has had a couple of babies? Or someone who feels the call, has been doing alot of reading, just hasn't been able to do any schooling or apprenticing because of family or work or financial reasons?

Just some thoughts....good luck! And congratulations on your pregnancy! How exciting for you!

[JuicyPakwan]

A CPM is a Certified Professional Midwife certified through NARM. North American Registry for Midwives. Some states recognize this others don't.

I think I would like to have another female present at the birth if I do UC but I would have to be absolutely confident that she would not panic and call 911. I actually had a shoulder dystocia and bleed with my last baby. A great disappointment after a fantastic labor. I believe both where position related as I was laying down. I was upright with my first though and plan to do the same with this one. I have found that knowledge of complications doesn't scare me it makes me feel more confident in knowing them and knowing how to prevent and take care of them. As I said my husband is uncomfortable with the idea as he saw first hand the complications of last time. But I have seen worse in births I attended and knew I and the baby would be ok I was never afraid. Anyway sorry this is so long

Emily

[chumani]

Hi Emily,

I recommend that you have your wonderful big sister Sarah come down and help out. She loved being able to assist you at your first two births. She would be able to help comfort you wonderful dh and help with your older kids.




Welcome to MDC Emily!!

Love your big sis!
Sarah

[stayinghome]

I have two friends who have done uc, they aren't midwives, but Bradley teachers. They seemed quite comfortable with it. I heard the woman who wrote "unassisted childbirth, an act of love" speak- and to me, if you are knowledgable and know what to look out for, seems like a safe option. But, having said that, if something about the idea doesn't sit well with you, then heed that inner voice. Maybe you need someone to be nurturing YOU during the birth, and feel like you couldn't "let go" because you have to oversee things. does that make any sense?

And, congratulations! a baby on the way!! awwww.....

[indigolilybear]

I would say go for it. But I *would* make sure that you have thoroughly investigate your motives, etc. Meaning, UC is an incredibly powerful path to take and requires a lot of "un-training" and thought, IMO. I think in some ways even being a MW would be another thing to work out as well.

Just my thoughts here. All taht being said, I think it could be a great experience!

[pamamidwife]

I totally support UC, but I would also caution that there is a fine line between midwifing yourself and being a birthing woman as a midwife.

Many midwives end up midwifing themselves, or getting too in the head about the labor pattern, etc., when giving birth. I would probably work on releasing some of that - for me it would mean no cervical checks or listening to heart tones.

[redtentmomma]

Hahah! What a funny place to bump into you! I'll probably e-mail you privately, but I wanted to suggest that you consider whether you're choosing UC or it's your last resort. What I mean is, if the other choices (returning to Utah, paying a travel fee or birthing with a doctor) are totally unacceptable, are you making a choice or are you choosing something based on the negatives surrounding it? I know you're pretty comfortable with UC, but it sounds like your hubby's not...I guess my thought is, get out of your brain and into your heart and decide what YOU REALLY WANT from this birth.

with love,
Sarah
mommy to Hailey, Tori and introducing....Alexander~!

[JuicyPakwan]

Thanks for all the advise guys. I believe I am completely comfortable and competent to do a UC. My husband however is completely uncomfortable and I will not force him as I need his full support. If I do find a midwife to come she will be there as an observer. I want badly to deliver this baby myself. I feel like my first two homebirths where wonderful but I think I definately turned control over with my first. With my second I was in control during labor but gave it over when I started pushing. I truly desire for this birth to be between my husband, me and the Lord. I truly hope this happens for me.
Thanks again

[hippiemom]

though i would not choose that option, i have a friend who did, and loved it (twice!). i think it takes a very knowledgeable, skilled person who also has the discretion to know when help is truly needed, and granted, "needed" can be a subjective term. i imagine your training makes you a good candidate, but i would strongly suggest that you find backup just in case. i am not trying to be pessimistic, i just think like any birth plan it is a good idea to imagine ahead for any eventuality so you do not have to make difficult decisions while in crisis.

blessings to you and your babe! congratulations, and happy birthing.

you are undoubtedly familiar with jeannine parvati's work, she is very supportive of UC. her books are fun to read!

[shay]

I support you in unassisting. I am sure you understand anything can happen (shoulder dystocia for example) and an extra support person who understands the process is helpful. Hire a support person and have her sit quietly in the corner and honestly tell her what her purpose is. ..give her a camera!!! I am a doula and have done this for clients who want an unassisted birth. I have knowledge and experience, they understand I am for "emotional" support only and not a midwife, but they are comfortable being do - it - their - self parents. My experience is sitting in the corner watching a family being born that THEY created. They catch. It is THEIR experience and always very beautiful. I don't say a word unless they ask or need reassurance!!!! Birth is beautiful and needs no outside interference.

Mom to 3 boys in Indiana