there is a friend of my family that has three sons, one is a month old, one is a year older than Addy and one is 7.
the three year old has been working on potty learning for a year. its taken him a LONG time, ebcause... everytime he has an accident.. they spank him. hard.
his dad, who is a very blue collar good ol boy isnt even the spanker for potty infractions, its the mama, the one i ahve known since i was 4.
when i found out, after rushing him to the bathroom when he said he had to go, and he had pooped in his pullup just before getting his pants down (
) he started crying and shaking saying he was going to get a spanking. i was in SHOCK. i told him "no one should ever hurt you. especially not for having an accident. dont worry babe", and gave him a big ol hug then when i had a moment alone with his aprents i tried to explain to him that spanking him about potty isssues will NOT help, and thats probably why its been taking him SO long to potty learn. that children who associate negative feelings about their bodies own natural behaviors, like going to the bathroom, etc will cause MAJOR psychological problems later on down the road, not to mention its HURTING him now, physically and emotionally.
their response was "well you dont know what you are talking about cause you have a lil girl, and she potty learned early so she didnt have any porblems, he has problems so we are fixing them by spanking him. we arent hurting him." its almost IMPOSSIBLE to get spankers to listen and understand that spanking IS hurting the child.
i am so sorry you had to hear that on the phone with your nephews.
what a terrible thing to experience. maybe you could print up some antispank lit and mail it to her?