How much time do you spend a day actively playing with your little one's? - Page 2

[happiestmomma]

I've never thought about how much time we spend playing, but we sure do spend a lot of constructive, meaningful time together. I'm playing less and less with DS1 now because of the new baby, and I'd like him to learn to play more independantly anyway.
I play in kind of short intervals, too. I am terrible at playing and get bored easily, and I have TONS of things to do around the house...

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I don't play with kids. Yea, maybe a game of cards here and there but that's about it. I talk, read, set up projects, do chores & errands, take them to events, host playdates and stuff like that but no playing for me.

[Terabith]

Well, I play board games and do puzzles with my three year old and read to them and help out with art projects. I sorta supervise some messy/ slightly difficult activities and occasionally play patient when she wants to be nurse (ie lie there and have my blood pressure taken). I'll play catch or soccer or stuff like that and occassionally set up a slightly structured activity (Simon Says, I Spy, stuff like that). Help build block things every once in awhile. But I dont get into pretend play with her. I really just dont like it, and I kinda think it's important for her to have her own world and psychological space. I probably should do more, but I just really cant get into it, so I've come up with my reasonable sounding excuse.

[ColwynsMommy]

For us, if there are toys involved, I don't usually play along with the boys. It's not that they ask and I say no, it just seems that if they're playing with a toy, they don't need my involvement. Very very rarely Colwyn will ask me to play trains, and that lasts about 5-10 minutes before we both get bored.

We play lots of chasing games (they love tag games that end in tickling), we do a craft or two each day, or we'll play a board game or do puzzles. Sometimes he'll ask me to crawl around on the floor and pretend to be the momma dinosaur. Or we'll take all the pillows off the couch and I'll cheer them on while they jump around. We read a lot, too.

But I don't play with the kids' toys much at all. I interact with them for most of the day one way or another, but only about an hour of it is what I would call play.

[becoming]

Well, my situation is complicated by the fact that my 5yo DS actually prefers to play alone, so DH and I have to pretty much *force* him to play with us. He really loves playing Legos and pretend games in his room by himself. So, on weekdays (he goes to public school), we probably actively play with him for 30 minutes or less. On weekend days, I usually try to engage him in play for an hour and a half or so, but even that is hard.

DD (15 months), on the other hand, is not satisfied unless you're down on her level, playing something, anything, with her. So I'd say I spend 2-3 good hours playing with her on weekdays (I work) and ALLLL day long on weekends.

[seeking_peace]

Definitely less with my 4 year old than my 1 year old.

They will help me out with things around the house, and I will play things with them that I enjoy (like dollhouse...lol) and painting.

Our livingroom is our playroom, so a lot of the time I will be in here knitting or working on some other project while the girls are playing. That way I am accessible if needed, but they don't need me to constantly be entertaining them. If I am online I find that I get way too absorbed and really just don't give them any attention, so I try to limit my online time to when they are sleeping or DH is home.

They are both book freaks and would sit and let me read them books all day, so I actually have to cut them off with the book reading sometimes...lol.

[straighthaircurly]

I have one 3.5 yo ds. How much we play together depends on my day. Yesterday we did a lot together. Read for 30 minutes in am. Built playdoh creations for about 30 minutes including him dictating a story to me about one of his creations. Played "friends talk" for a couple shorter sessions during the day (15 minutes at least twice). Played outside in the snow together for about 40 minutes making snowballs and tossing them. At the start of our outside time though he played by himself for about 20 minutes. Then we spent an hour cleaning the kitchen together and cooking dinner together (he was a great little helper). After dinner my son, husband, our dinner guest, and I all played a round of Blockus together. But my son is an only child. He plays really well independently but he also loves to play with me a lot some days.

The day before I had a lot of work to do so I set the timer for 2 15 minute intervals before we went in to my work for a couple hours in the afternoon.

Today we had a play date so he has only asked me to play a couple times.

We try to get out of the house a lot or I feel very cooped up playing the same game over and over.

[anarchamama]

I guess it kind of depends how you define play. I don't play imaginative games with my kids a lot, hardly at all, unless you count ds using me as a prop while I do other things. My role in his games usually involves me being assigned a role (a much slower process than you might think) and then repeating what he tells me to say. This is something I am willing to do while I do other things. DS2 is pretty high maintenance but that mostly consists of riding on my back or nursing. I read to ds1 every day, and we do crafts together, I usually participate for 15 min or so in craft to gethim going or if there are tricky parts. Otherwise like pp said he cooks with me, helps pick up, goes on errands etc. We do go out a lot or have friends over, so he spends a lot of time playing with his friends. And I cannot imagine a guilt that would get me to redirect my kids attention to me if it is happily focused elsewhere DS plays some physical games with ds2 or plays imagination games with all his guys and thier elaborite dioramas pretty well by himself.

[michelle1k]

Very little to none - if you mean imaginary games. : I feel a little guilty about it sometimes. But... I read to my kids, sing with them, make music with them, dance with them, draw or color cooperatively, play card or board games and generally interact with them all through the day....talking and listening to them, swinging them around, kissing, cuddling them, looking at their various elaborate constructions and giving ideas for how to creatively change their imaginary games to accommodate each other's needs or to add another dimension to a imaginary scenario they haven't considered.

[GracesMama]

I love this post because I've been feeling a bit guilty about it too lately. As an infant, I wore my daughter on my front and later my back almost all day. I interacted with her constantly. Once she started crawling, and later walking, I spent some time playing with her, but slowly started doing my own thing.

My daughter is 18 months old and surprisingly enjoys playing on her own. She colors, "feeds" her baby, stacks blocks, "cleans" the house, "reads" books, shovels her dry beans, does puzzles etc. I talk to her all the time and involve her in house work (she loves to unload the dishwasher, unload the dryer, put wet clothes in dryer, dust, mop, sweep) whenever I can. We also read, sing, dance, and go to the library, the museum, or playground from time to time. It seems like the only time she really needs me is when she wants to nurse. Recently she has been sick, so of course she has been wanting more of my attention, but this is unusual.

I used to think I needed to sit on the floor with her for hours on end but soon realized that I had way too much stuff to do and she doesn't really need that.
I also recently read The Continuum Concept and it really supported what many of you are saying about letting the kids do their own thing.

[transformed]

I have often felt this way-I think that society tells us that life is all about fun. Have you ever heard the phrase "I just want my kids to be happy?" Well, wouldnt playing with them all day long make them happy! LOL. I do not use that phrase when I describe how I want my kids to turn out or be, because I understand that life is sometimes happy, sometimes sad, etc. I want my children to be allowed to feel a full range of emotions. Sorry, I went off on a tangent, LOL. But thats why I think we feel bad for not playing with our kids all the time. For me anyways.

Jenny

[Tuesday]

I don't play very much with my 3.5 year old. He really likes alone time, anyway. I help him, if he allows me, with puzzles, crafts, Lego, building towers, etc. For the most part, I'm not mechanically-inclined - he already can out build and out-assemble me and prefers to be left alone to "do his thing". I do read to him, take him to groups, talk to him, care, feed and nurture him. We exercise together and play outside. I do feel that being left to your own devices and sometimes being bored is a good thing - you are called upon to use your imagination and create new games and something out of nothing. My parents didn't play much with me - I remember spending hours just playing outside with sticks, grass, pieces of wood and my dolls. I usually invented something to do.

My husband is, though, very playful with our son - they giggle, dance, play cars, build towers. DH does a lot of play that I find tedious; on the other hand, DH rarely reads stories to my son. So, it balances out, I think.

[staceylibbert]

Thank you so much. My daughter (5) is so demanding of my time. My husband says I spend too much time entertaining her. After her brother was born (1.5), she became so jealous of my time. Did I mention I also work part-time from home? It was becoming very frustrating, and I was beginning to resent her requests. At first, I had to "force" her to play by herself, and for a couple of days, she was at a loss, but now she is doing very well. She is working tirelessly on a group of fairy houses at the edge of our woods... by herself. It has made life much easier for us. I guess I thought I was "supposed" to be doing that stuff. I mean, what did I quit work for to stay at home if I wasn't going to be "with" her? With another one in tow, however, I think I'm getting a more realistic sense of what I'm "supposed" to be doing. Thanks for reaffirming what I've already discovered.

Stacey, mom to Harper Lee (5 yrs.) and Isaac (18 months), writer, teacher, coach