Do you have an almost "adult" child?

[JuJuBazooka]

My oldest is turning 18 in a few days. She will be leaving for college in August. Some days I'm so heart-broken and others I cannot wait for her to leave. Am I normal or just awful?

She gave away her child's dictionary and doll house furniture this weekend and I bawled like a tiny baby over it. UGH, all these emotions........

[doulamomvicki]

You are normal!

My ds#1 turned 18 in September - it is so bittersweet. He is going away for college next fall. Sometimes I get teary thinking "Gosh, he won't be home everyday" He is such a good, sweet kid -I am going to miss him terribly.

My oldest is turning 18 in a few days. She will be leaving for college in August. Some days I'm so heart-broken and others I cannot wait for her to leave.

I know that is how I am going to feel about dd (she is 15). : (ok, sometimes I feel that way now)

[JuJuBazooka]

Originally Posted by doulamomvicki

I know that is how I going to feel about dd (she is 15). : (ok, sometimes I feel that way now)

LOL, that made me laugh. I have journals that I write in each night for my children. Last night I was reading through her's and the time has just flown by. They grow up so quickly.

[nolonger]

Mine will be 18 on March 21; she's been taking classes at community college since she was 15 and working part time, which is the best we can do financially. She does live at home but I hardly see her. She's rather clueless as far as housekeping, budgeting so that the rent gets paid and you can still afford to eat, etc., so I don't think she's ready to live on her own just yet, plus I very much want to see her get at least an Associate degree.

I feel a mix of relief that nobody will be able to take her away from me (not CPS, not my ex, not anybody) and fear that she will make some bad decisions and I will not be able to protect her from the consequences.

ds 15 is my "problem child" right now and I probably would have a few moments of looking forward to not having to deal with him if I had younger children, but I don't.

[Lambsauce]

I'm sure your feelings are totally normal. I know my parents DEFINITELY feel that way about me (I'll be 18 in April), and my DBf's parents also feel that way (he just turned 18).

[SweetAfton]

Lambie you're such a baby! :nana:

To the OP:
As another college student, I have to say you're perfectly natural from what I gathered from my parents when I was graduating from HS (May 04).

[Buddhamom]

I have a 17 yr. old that is graduating this year and a 15 yr. old that is graduating a year early next year so I have two about to leap into the adult world. My 17 yr. old isn't sure if she wants to stay here while going to school or what, but we leave that up to her. She will still be 17 when she starts college until Dec. I am making the 15 year old stay here her first year because she will only be 16 when she starts college and there is a HUGE difference in maturity between 16 and 18.

[Cruella_DeVille]

You're normal!

My eldest will be 18 in May. I think I've been teary on and off for the last few years! I'm also frightened. He'll be 18 and I wont be able to protect him from the world ... from himself ... but at the same time, I trust him but I have to learn to trust that we did okay in raising him.

UGH, heart palps just thinking about his b-day!

Right now he's away for the remainder of the week on a trip connected to school and I'm taking this opportunity to learn to deal with myself and my not being there to say "I love you" to him everyday.

[enkmom]

My daughter will graduate from high school in May, and my son is right behind her. It is scary, exciting, and sad all at the same time. She has been accepted to the college of her choice, and we just got back yesterday from a college visit for my son. As noordinaryspider said, I already don't see them very often, so in a sense the weaning has already begun. I will miss my daughter like crazy when she leaves in the fall, but at the same time we are both ready for her to be out in the world a little bit.

[halfpintwil]

I have 22 and 19 yo sons in college. It wasn't so hard with the oldest as he goes to a local university, and only lives about 15 miles away, so we see him a lot. Plus for a long time he taught piano lessons in our home, so came home once per week for that. He graduates this year and hasn't started interviewing for jobs so I don't know where he'll end up, but he wants to stay local.

My 19 yo is at a college 5-6 hours away, but we have to go through Atlanta to get there so it sometimes takes 8-10 hours! He wants to go into missions, so it's harder for me with him as he probably won't stay local.

It probably helps that I have two younger ones, 8 and 11 at home so I'm not approaching the empty nest syndrome yet, but I still have emotional times about them leaving.
Dawn

[gnutter]

my oldest ds is 16 next month-my stepds is 31-and as far as I can tell they may leave home but they will always be your kids-especially when they need money
really though I can't imagine my oldest ds moving out-of course there are days when I wish he would! I have two little guys still though so in someways I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he is REALLY almost grown-I mean there's just no way he could really be anywhere near being an adult he can't even get his clothes in the laundry or remember to take his shoes off before coming inside. It just seems like some huge cosmic joke.

[Cherie2]

My Ds turned 18 last month ... its a strange sort of milestone even though nothing really has changed ... we have been balancing this grey area between irresponsible teen and adult .. and it is my impression we will be for a while yet. I think she is depressed and did struggle with drug use ... she had a baby at 17 and is now a struggling mama. I am glad she still lives with us, she and baby really need the support for a while yet. Its funny how I do sort of think of her differently now that she is 18 though ... i didn't expect that.

[gnutter]

cherie2---I had my oldst ds when I was 17--and now he is turning 16 wow! I think it is great she is still living with you-I moved out right after I had the baby and it makes things very hard. There will come a day though when she will be so grateful for your support-especially when she has a teen of her own

[Mama Poot]

I moved out a few weeks after I turned 18. I came from a very controlling mother and I had been planning to move out without her knowledge for quite a while. She was devastated, naturally, but more that she didn't have a built in housekeeper or landscaper anymore. You all seem like outstanding parents and I'm sure the transition with your kids from "teen" to adult will be much smoother. But I always say this because I honestly think some parents just don't get it- when the kid is 18 they can do pretty much whatever they want as long as it doesn't break the law. My mom seriously didnt' get that. Hell I'm 22 now and married with two children and she still doesn't get it.

[Snork]

How funny. I always joked it would be great when the kids started leaving home. Then my 17 year old did - suddenly, due to study and travel. I cried solidly for 3 months. DH banned me from sitting on his bed and sobbing. Then he decided to paint it up and give it to one of the younger kids. I cried for another 3 months.

But its getting easier - he is a very sweet boy and phones, texts and visits us several times a week. Who would ever have thought that I'd beg him to bring dirty washing for me to do?!

My older son is 19 and happily remains at home - he knows he's onto a good thing. But he's fiercely independant and we treat him as an adult - he has earned that and its fine.

But I dread any more leaving home. Thats why I keep having more babies - to keep my nest full, lol

[gayle1701]

My 16-year-old will be leaving for college in a couple of years, and I've already started dreading it. This is my only child and I'm wondering if that's harder to handle than if you have other children at home. She's already looking at college, and one of her first choices right now is one that's only about an hour or an hour-and-a-half from home. Hopefully, that won't be too bad!

[MillingNome]

It sounds pretty normal? Will your dc still be close in location?

[Chicky2]

My oldest dd will be leaving either in June, or August, depending on whether or not she gets accepted into a specific summer study program at her college of choice. She'll be not only going off to college but in Iowa. We live in TX. Crazy. She's got big dreams, and the college she'll be attending will really be key to helping her acheive those dreams.

I will miss her terribly, but I"m also looking forward to her leaving. She's been a great kid (great grades, no drugs, no parties, no sex), but she's an absent minded professor type, w/not much common sense yet. That in itself has presented many problems, lol. I'm excited for her to leave because I know she's capable of a very fulfilling life and a great career before settling down to become a mama oneday. She's gotta start sometime and we've had her this long already.

[mwherbs]

yes, very normal raising children is so bitter sweet- our youngest is 18 going to be 19 this year.

[Susana]

sounds normal to me!

Just last night I went in to turn off my son's (he'll be 15 in May) tv because he fell asleep with it on, and I looked at him while he was sleeping...it sounds rather sappy, but I was full of all kinds of emotions in that moment-sadness over knowing he'll never be little again and I miss the little boy, but being thrilled too about how great a man he is turning out to be. But most of all, I thought about how I wished time would slow down so he won't be 18 anytime too fast.

this motherhood thing is a trip.