it'd be wrong to hit her, right? (MIL vent)

[elmh23]

nak

mil's sister is coming to town today. it's also the sisters b-day. so my sil will be holding a dinner at her house. i won't be there because i have a class tonight. dh and dd will be going. dd is allergic to peanuts and soy and we're avoiding all nuts at this time. so i found out yesterday what kind of cake mil will be making for her sister. german chocolate with coconut pecan frosting!!! something my 2-year-old can't eat! now, i expect there to be times when dd can't eat stuff, but this is family and i also expect them to make considerations. when i asked mil, she said "well, i don't know what you expect me to make for her." um, nothing, just don't buy pecan frosting when you KNOW dd will be there! i already have to put the peanuts on top of the fridge whenever we go over there (she keeps them out for a healthy snack for my diabetic fil, i'd be okay with it if she didn't buy the salted ones and then complain about him eating salt!) anyways, she offered to not frost a piece for dd, but i told her i'd just send sarah with something else. dd doesn't really like cake, just frosting. so instead, she's getting oreo's.

part of what pisses me off is that if i hadn't asked, i risked sending dd without her benadryl (i'm really bad about that, still getting used to it!) and without letting dh know she can't eat it. i love my husband, but he can be clueless about stuff when he's tired or around his family (um, there an interesting bunch!) so it's entirely possible she would have reacted and no one would have noticed until it was too late.

but let me just say i am so happy it's at this sil's house! she e-mailed me the menu for tonight and everything was planned with sarah's allergies in mind! the only thing she was concerened about was the sunflower seeds in the salad dressing (yes she looked before she bought ) but since sarah eats sunbutter, i know she can eat it. i love my sil!!!

[Caden's Mom]

I'm sorry you're so frustrated. :

FTR, I wouldn't expect anyone outside of DH and I to cater to DS's allergies or my diet needs since he's nursing, unless it was an airborn anaphylactic issue.

[elmh23]

Originally Posted by Caden's Mom

I'm sorry you're so frustrated. :

FTR, I wouldn't expect anyone outside of DH and I to cater to DS's allergies or my diet needs since he's nursing, unless it was an airborn anaphylactic issue.

Well, I don't really care about the soy allergy (and actually the cake is soy free, lol) but the nut allergy worries the hell out of me because it can become anaphylactic at any time. MIL doesn't believe me about Sarah's allergy and I think that's what makes it worse. Dd had a RAST test back in January and peanuts came up negative (and soy positive.) But, I have seen dd get hives around her mouth the two times she's had peanut products, so we're still considering her pa, even if the tests aren't saying so.

[Butter]

For people without allergies it can be very hard to understand what living with allergies is like. It's likely MIL is just clueless. But I totally understand the feeling of wanting to smack her. My MIL keeps telling me it shouldn't matter what *I* eat because *I'm* not the allergic one. No, but I am nearly the sole source of nutrition for the "allergic one" and he reacts to what I eat. She also suggested we just put him on formula because that would be "so much easier" and there's no way he'd be allergic to it because they wouldn't make it if he could be and after all his father wasn't allergic to his formula (no, and his father is also only allergic to bananas and you still fed those to him anyway). She doesn't get that corn syrup found in all commercial formulas IS allergenic to corn allergic children like my son. I just remind myself that my MIL is just clueless since she's never truly dealt with food allergies and doesn't "get" it (she's always saying that surely just once won't hurt).