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And it happened to me. Update on post 96 - Page 2

post #21 of 192
Isn't there some Bible verse about a public gathering and it says "bring the suckling babies, bring the elders" or something like that?
post #22 of 192


Good for you for not backing down. You're not doing anything wrong; I know you know that. I'm sorry you're going through this.
post #23 of 192
I assume this is a Christian denomination? Ask the bishop if he would feel comfortable turning away Mary from the church for nursing the infant Jesus?

I know that sounds trite, but come on, think about it -- it's good enough for the Lord and Savior but not good enough for the members of his congregation?

Take a lot of deep breaths and hang in there. I have a really hard time getting through confrontational meetings like that without bursting into tears (ugh) so I feel your pain.
post #24 of 192
First off.... HUGS. This is one reason I've been nervous and avoiding church as I don't want this to happen.

I'd be LIVID. Good for you to throw away the cookies. I'd also follow church protocol and complain all the way to Gordon B if this issue is not resolved. Really.

If your Bishop has the patriartical "aura" around him, turn that on him too. Let your DH talk of his support. Those kinds of bishops make me grrrr and move.

I'll dig around at home tonight... I believe there are Ensign quotes supportive of nursing. I know there are several scriptures in the BOM and DNC. One keeps coming to mind is in one speech (I think the sermon on the mount, but I don't have a bible at work so don't quote the location.) Jesus says Woe to those who rejoyce in the paps which do not give suck, or something like that.

If you're in Southern Idaho, I'll come nurse with you next Sunday. Or I'll come on fast sunday and bear my testimony.

Why are they sexualizing nursing? I highly doubt you are flashing the ward. What is their problem? How is this risking thier souls?

I looked it up, Idaho does not have laws that protect breast feeding other than exempting from jury duty.

As for the tithing... YMMV, but if you're paying a tithe, consider not stopping. You need the blessings that tithing brings right now.

I'll be praying for you and your bishop. He needs the Lords inspiration right now, IMNSHO.
post #25 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by dynamohumm6 View Post


Flip the tables on them. You are shocked, offended, and very concerned that teenage boys could possibly find breastfeeding to be sexual. You really hope that the clergy will consider meeting with their parents and talking to them about why they might be having these thoughts about something as innocent as feeding a child.
Oh yes to that.

I'm also thinking that God gave you breasts. God gave you a child. God filled your breasts with milk to nourish that child. Is he questioning God?
post #26 of 192
Hugs, Mama. That must have been quite a shock to have the RS pres come to your door (and with cookies! - I'm sorry but that was off-putting to me). When/if you do go see your bishop about this, please don't jump the gun and assume he's going to side with the RS pres and vocal minority. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and just state the facts. There is nothing immoral or inappropriate about nursing a little one. You know that. Just firmly and cordially stand your ground.

This problem belongs to others...they are just projecting their insecurities and (archaic) beliefs onto you. And I'm sorry for that.

Pray for guidance in this matter and He will lead you to the best course of action. And I agree with Intorainbowz about still paying tithing. This is not the church's standpoint, it's a few peoples' problem.

I hope all is resolved to the best possible outcome. I'll also be praying for you, but especially for the others involved. I think they need it more than you do.
post #27 of 192
I'd suggest s sermon on why breastfeeding boobs should not be sexualized. : And if the men/boys have impure thoughts - WHY ARE THEY LOOKING?????????????

You have every right to feed your child on demand and if that means you're in the communion line and need to stick dc on a boob, so be it.

Jenn
post #28 of 192
The first questions I would ask his was if it was Mary nursing Jesus in church would he ask her not to?

I actually keep waiting for someone at church to say something about me nursing ds there because I intend to use that line if it ever happens : so far not a word tho.
post #29 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momtwice View Post
I'd approach it from a religious perspective. How can they call the method that Jesus was fed immoral? If not a Christian, weren't Moses and Mohammed breastfed too?
yeah... mary went a step further than breastfeeding in church. she nursed the son of God! i don't have any good advice... just s and hoping this never happens to me!

all those biblical folks were bf. there was not a viable alternative 2000 years ago.
post #30 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
The first questions I would ask his was if it was Mary nursing Jesus in church would he ask her not to?

I actually keep waiting for someone at church to say something about me nursing ds there because I intend to use that line if it ever happens : so far not a word tho.
just read this. yeah. i am waiting for somebody to start something! haha. so far, everybody has been very accomodating. i nurse my dd in church all the time.
post #31 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momtwice View Post
Isn't there some Bible verse about a public gathering and it says "bring the suckling babies, bring the elders" or something like that?
joel 2:16

Gather the people,
consecrate the assembly;
bring together the elders,
gather the children,
those nursing at the breast.
Let the bridegroom leave his room
and the bride her chamber.
post #32 of 192
I wouldn't assume the woman spoke for the bishop. Wait to hear that from him. She may be usurping her authority in talking to you.

Second the advise to only talk in person. Get your husband on the same page and let him lead the conversation, if you're worried about the reaction. Just remember, your husband is the head of your household, and he needs to take care of this. (If you start to do the slow burn over the partriarchial nature of the bishop, just think to yourself - he's the head, I'm the neck, and I turn that head anyway I want!)
post #33 of 192
Hmph, I'm not even a church goer and I'm mad for you.

http://www.darkfiber.com/pz/grafix/hand7-a.jpg

Picture of Mary nursing Jesus.
post #34 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apricot View Post
I wouldn't assume the woman spoke for the bishop. Wait to hear that from him. She may be usurping her authority in talking to you.

Second the advise to only talk in person. Get your husband on the same page and let him lead the conversation, if you're worried about the reaction. Just remember, your husband is the head of your household, and he needs to take care of this. (If you start to do the slow burn over the partriarchial nature of the bishop, just think to yourself - he's the head, I'm the neck, and I turn that head anyway I want!)
You must mean that she could be usurping his authority right?

Man - that second paragraph made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Certainly if you want your husband to take care of it for you - go ahead.

You deserve to be heard on this matter - and I think it is totally appropriate to approach it from the standpoint that you've been told that men and boys in the ward are looking at you lustfully. That you find this distressing that the act of nurturing your child is being perveted - and furthermore she has taken the bishops own name and attatched it to this pervision. Is this something that he sanctions? Would he like to defend his right to think lustful thoughts about you to say the stake president? I would ask him politely to take the leadership role in this situation and direct his flock to the appropriate thinking on this matter. If he fails to do so perhaps he should seek outside guidance - if he cannot do that you (or your 'head of the household') will have to go over his head.
post #35 of 192

Sorry....

Oh Mama,

Sorry for the pain and discomfort.

I would approach as a right to be fed, just like all the other babies/children in the congregation. And why, are the men thinking impure thoughts for your child to be fed. Why should your baby suffer for the impure thoughts of others?

Notice that you and your baby have to change your behavior--not the young men. If they see babies fed like this more, they will not see it as sexual.

Good luck!
post #36 of 192
Apricot, you may speak for yourself, but I find that attitude very disrespectful. Sorry.

OP, I am very sorry this happened to you. I wouldn't schedule a meeting with the bishop. I would write him a cool, curt letter that you found the visit from the Church Lady to be a sign of harassment. You will be documenting any further incidences of harassment and will consider it to be a legal matter if they do not cease instantly.

And I would openly nurse your child next Sunday
post #37 of 192
Ok, hon, hope you're feeling better.

I talked to my Mormon DH and he said to ask the bishop how it's respecting motherhood (which is something the church is big on) to deny you the right to mother your child the way God intended.

So there. You know Matt - that was interspersed with some non-Mormon bleep-idy-bleep-bleeps.

eta: I think one of the most hurtful things here may be the fact that you know you and your breasts are being gossiped about. These women talked to each other and then the bishop who in turn sent the RS Pres. I think approaching the topic of gossip with the bishop may not hurt, either.



I don't think Mohammed was breastfed. Wasn't he an orphan?
post #38 of 192

WWJD?h

humph!

Your church doesn't sound very "christlike" to me...

But I guess that's not for me to judge....
post #39 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by eldadeedlit View Post
joel 2:16

Gather the people,
consecrate the assembly;
bring together the elders,
gather the children,
those nursing at the breast.
Let the bridegroom leave his room
and the bride her chamber.
Then I'd be tempted to pull out Matthew 18, where Jesus tells us that if we feel someone has wronged us, we're to go to them privately (no where does He mention sending the Cookie Lady) rather than sending minions to do our dirty work because we don't feel like taking it on ourselves. The whole thing seems to be being handled rather unBiblically.
post #40 of 192
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh View Post
I don't think Mohammed was breastfed. Wasn't he an orphan?
Even if he was an orphan, of course he was breastfed. Just by a wet nurse and not his mom. There wouldn't have been any other option at that time.
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