or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › And it happened to me. Update on post 96
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

And it happened to me. Update on post 96 - Page 3

post #41 of 192
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Even if he was an orphan, of course he was breastfed. Just by a wet nurse and not his mom. There wouldn't have been any other option at that time.


Ever since goats were domesticated there has always been another option.
post #42 of 192
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
The first questions I would ask his was if it was Mary nursing Jesus in church would he ask her not to?

I actually keep waiting for someone at church to say something about me nursing ds there because I intend to use that line if it ever happens : so far not a word tho.
the one I loved to use while I could :cry: was "Were there cry rooms at the Sermon on the Mount?" or it's second half as it were "Did Christ also turn the water into Enfamil? I didn't know that"

sometimes just wearing one of the "Jesus Was Breastfed" or "Breastmilk, Good Enough for the CHRIST CHILD, good enough for MY CHILD" shirts or pullovers to services, or putting the bumper stickers on the car you drive to meeting.

Stand strong
post #43 of 192
Mama, this is why God gave you and the rest of us breasts!! Feeding these babies is what it's all about. I'm in DC, but I wish I could be there with you. I have a 22 month old and a 3 month old and I'd sit right beside and latch them on and thank God for enough milk to feed them!
post #44 of 192
There is a beautiful Church in Bethlehem called the Milk Grotto-- it is a place where Legend holds that Mary nursed the baby Jesus. There are tons of frescos, images of Mary nursing (going back to catacomb times!)!!!!

I hope you can get some sense into these folks! Is drinking milk in a cup sexy because it came from a ... heh... you know... boob?
post #45 of 192
I wouldn't assume the woman spoke for the bishop. Wait to hear that from him. She may be usurping her authority in talking to you.
You must mean that she could be usurping his authority right?
I worded it poorly, but I meant "her authority": using her position of leadership/authority for personal reasons. She doesn't like breastfeeding, so she goes under "official" business. Like when one crank neighbor signs an anonymous letter as "Committee of Peeved Neighbors" to make it seem like there's more people pissed.
Man - that second paragraph made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
That's not a very nice way to say that...but I stand by the paragraph. If you join a patriarchial organization, run by people who feel it's the right way to do things, don't be surprized if he has to do stuff for you. If he doesn't lead the charge on this, then she's just the women who tells her man what to do, and he's so whipped that he puts up with her nursing in church. Which I assume is incorrect.
post #46 of 192
Oh man, that's soooooo awful! I can't believe you have been put in this position, with all these creeps thinking YOU are the one who needs to change your behavior. :

As for keeping your cool, would it help you to really "professionalize" the experience? Put together an agenda for the meeting (list of all topics you want to cover), type and print it out, and bring a copy for each person attending the meeting. Note who will be attending the meeting. This will do a few things. 1) Let them know you take this issue VERY SERIOUSLY. 2) You will have something in writing should you wish to escalate a complaint. 3) It gives you a way to have points to come back to. If he tries to poo-poo you, you can say, "I have other issues to discuss" "Wait, I'm not finished... there are two more points I want to make." 4) You can write yourself notes on your copy, to ensure you say everything you feel is important.

Also, have you considered inviting that woman to the meeting? Might cut out any chance of he said-she said, or the pastor trying to say he didn't say something he really did, etc. You could approach it as, "I'd like you to join us, as I'd like to have one meeting where we can nip this issue in the bud." (Okay, so maybe using the word "nip" might not be your best bet... but you know what I mean. )

Good Luck Mama. Please let us know how things progress.
post #47 of 192
Originally Posted by Apricot View Post
I worded it poorly, but I meant "her authority": using her position of leadership/authority for personal reasons. She doesn't like breastfeeding, so she goes under "official" business. Like when one crank neighbor signs an anonymous letter as "Committee of Peeved Neighbors" to make it seem like there's more people pissed.
–verb (used with object) 1. to seize and hold (a position, office, power, etc.) by force or without legal right: The pretender tried to usurp the throne.
2. to use without authority or right; employ wrongfully: The magazine usurped copyrighted material.
–verb (used without object) 3. to commit forcible or illegal seizure of an office, power, etc.; encroach.

To Usurp would mean that she is trying to take someone elses power - not faking power...

That's not a very nice way to say that...but I stand by the paragraph. If you join a patriarchial organization, run by people who feel it's the right way to do things, don't be surprized if he has to do stuff for you. If he doesn't lead the charge on this, then she's just the women who tells her man what to do, and he's so whipped that he puts up with her nursing in church. Which I assume is incorrect.
(Bold is mine)

Oh - I'm quite clear on the concept of a patriarchial organization - and I am not at all surprized that HE would have to "do stuff" for me in order for it to get done. That's why I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The fact that it's understood that her voice is useless, her feelings are useless and if her husband (lover, protector) agrees with her then he's somehow less of a man - is what makes the vomit come up in my throat. It isn't nice is it? I totally agree.

This is a family issue - but it is also very much a womans rights issue. The issue of a man using a woman to convince another woman that what she is doing is shameful, is such an unbelieveable misuse of his 'power' as a leader in his church. It is a perversion beyond sexuality.
post #48 of 192
post #49 of 192
i just read your post on the LDS thread and had to come and give you HUGE i am so livid!! i just made a post there about the women from another ward sitting in the foyer and nursing sunday after sunday without being given crap. i can't believe there are those in your ward who would do this. well, yes i can. i'm sure if and when i feed right there in sacrament i'll get some members gasping and speeding away. and then i'll ask them how this is bad when they allow their daughters to wear skirts that show off their butt cheeks. i would educate not only the Bishop but the RS on this.

do you have any other NIP mommies in the ward to back you up? i know if i ever came across this i have two sisters who would come to the Bishop's office with me, babies on breast and all. ack! i am just so angry for you! this is just ignorance on their part. they need to stop and think this through. give me your Bishop's address and i'll have some of my RS friends and myself write a letter.
post #50 of 192
From one "corrupting" LDS mama to another.... The person who ever says something like that to me will regret the day they were born!!! I can't believe the RS pres. had the gall to come and bring you cookies. I would have thrown them away, too. You need to be proud, and tell everyone else that you are proud to be showing the rest of the congregation how to use your body the way it was intended. I don't believe there is anything against nursing in the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet or the Bishop's handbook. I dare you to have him look it up!

I agree with PP. I think the worst part is that other women are talking about this behind your back. Maybe you should make them all brownies laced with Ex-lax...or worse!!! BREASTMILK!!!!!!!!!!!
post #51 of 192
here this is long but its nice

breastfeeding and the bible

Psalm 22:9 Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast.

Breastfeeding was created by God's magnificent design. His children can receive more than food from the breast of their mother. What greater gift can a mother give her child than the gift God has given............breastfeeding.

In Isaiah 55, the scriptures declare that His ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts higher than our thoughts. His way to provide infant feeding is from mother to child.

But what do the scriptures have to say? Does God care that we breastfeed? Did he create infant feeding to be done only in privacy? Should Christians be made to feel guilty to nurse? Has the sexual aspect of the breast caused Mothers to feel shame to feed their children in the most nurturing way? Where have we come? From the Lady who came up to Jesus in Luke 11:27 and said, " How happy is the woman who bore you and nursed you!." to today with "I can't believe she is breastfeeding here!" God's design for breastfeeding is incredible (for every species). It contains everything needed for our babies. It is even different for the premature baby, to meets its specific needs (I totally believe that, because Braylynne gained 5lbs in the first month!). It changes to meet the needs of the growing infant. Breastmilk is a living substance, gives immunity protection, supports optimal growth and development. The colostrum ( the first milk) lines the gut of the baby to create a seal against pathogens and provides many other important functions.

Philippians 4:19
"God shall supply all your needs"
Our needs are not simply met, but "supplied". An endless flow....

I Peter 2:2-3

"Be like newborn babies, always thristy for the pure spiritual milk, so that by drinking it you may grow up and be saved" As the scripture says, "You have found out for yourself how kind the Lord is"
What a beautiful metaphor! Just as new babies, fed by kind mothers, desire the milk that makes them grow, we should desire the word of God that comes through our kind Lord. Babies should long for their mother's milk. The process of breastfeeding will make them grow both physically, spiritually and emotionally when administered by a kind mother.

Isaiah 66:11-13

"You will enjoy her prosperity like a child at it's mother's breasts. The Lord says, "I will bring you lasting prosperity; the wealth of nations will flow to you like a river that never goes dry. You will be like a child that is nursed by it's mother, carried in her arms, and treated with love. I will comfort you in Jerusalem, as a mother comforts her child." God is depicting Jerusalem as a well loved nursing mother; a mother who provides nourishment and comfort from her breast. He says the people should be delighted with Jerusalem the way a baby enjoys the suckling and sustenance from his mother. God promises peace and glory to her so that the people will have their physical needs met as a baby does when nursed, they will have security as a baby who is carried on his mother's hip, and they will have joy as a baby does when it is played with in his mother's lap. God used the word GLORY to symbolize breastmilk! God clearly has an appreciation for mothers who show their love and compassion for their babies through close physical contact that includes breastfeeding, being carried, and play. When a child nurses, his spirit is being fed as well as his body, and he is learning the character, and affection of God.

Joel 2:16

"Gather the people, Sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, Gather the children and nursing babes..."
Here it is obvious that nursing publicly and in church is in God's will!

Isaiah 40:11

"He will feed his flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those who are with young."What a blessing to be carried by our Lord in His bosom. Carrying our babies in our bosom is also important because this is where they are most content. Using slings instead of carriers, strollers, playpens, and swings. We need to be attached to our babies, not detached with these items.

Once the baby is born, we begin nurturing the babe at the breast. God created us with breasts to nourish babies. This is His divine plan. God gave breasts, not only for the beauty of a woman's figure, but to function. When we breastfeed, we embrace our womanhood and the way that God so intricately and wondrously designed our bodies. The mother who is nursing her baby is bound to her baby. She finds it hard to leave her baby with a baby-sitter. This is God's plan. He does not intend for mothers to leave their babies after a few months to pursue their career. We already have a more important career. Breastfeeding ties them to one another.

Right from the very beginning, we as mothers have the privilege of showing to our children a little of what God is like. In the womb the child's trust is in God for sustenance through us. Then as the little babe nurses at his/her mother's breast, this baby learns to trust. He/she knows that life, sustenance, and comfort will always be there. Nursing a babe at the breast is a powerful work. Not only are we nourishing our baby, but also we are teaching them, right from birth, what it means to trust in God.

The advantages of later weaning are more than physical. In fact, as the baby grows and enters the second year, the mother is not necessarily feeding her baby for sustenance as he can get that from other food. We continue to nurse to satisfy his inner needs that are just as important as his physical.
post #52 of 192
Sarah, great post. It's meeting fire with fire, too.

Mama, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know that it's pretty easy to say that I'd leave the church (and I would), but from what I understand about LDS, there's a whole social structure as well that it would be very painful to walk away from. So I want to encourage you to stay strong, to remember that what you're doing is just fine with God, thanks, even if there are some jittery human beings losing their minds over boobs.
post #53 of 192
I just want to offer you my support! To read what happened to you blows my mind and honestly just leaves me speechless! You are doing the best thing for your children and for anyone in that church (especially adults) not to get that is crazy!
post #54 of 192
I am trying to find verses for you to bring to back you up. Wish me luck. I know I have seen them before, can't remember where.
post #55 of 192
Thread Starter 
Ok, I have an appointment set up for this coming Sunday. I will definately give you guys an update. Thanks so much for all your support. I think I am still in shock. Must go make a detailed list of what was said today so that nothing gets garbled. And keep the pics and verses coming - I love it all!
post #56 of 192
If one believes in God - then one must also believe that God has designed us/women perfectly. And in doing so - he designed us to be able to give birth and to feed our children. You would think that in place of worship - one would celebrate a woman doing exactly as God had intended....
post #57 of 192
i too also wanted to offer support and I too am livid .. i would be so upset if that happened to me ... ( I am LDS too) .. I do want to say that the church is not perfect and we are not the only church i have heard of having this happen.. I nurse my ds in class, the foyer , the rs room ..wherever need be .. I have even nursed in the foyer and the YSA where coming in to church ... I have never had anyone say anything to me ..YET .. my ds will be one soon so i may as he becomes a toddler and is still nursing.. I do not nurse in the mother's lounge .. i mean bathroom entry with chairs.. i used to but will not anymore and will not at all with another child .. again I am so sorry this happened to you and hope that you are able to be heard when you talk to the Bishop.. I support you !!!
post #58 of 192
Perhaps not only mention that these boys might be looking lustfully on infant feeding, but suggest that the bishop might want to encourage some Biblical readings about the feeding of infants and the duties of mothers and how young men in Jesus' time were expected to support mothers.
post #59 of 192
mama. I hope your meeting goes well and that it's only the RS pres's (what is that by the way, I'm not LDS) opinion and not the Bishops. Having the Bishop behind your back would be best. Good luck!
post #60 of 192
Ok, quick crash course on the LDS faith and how it's organized....

www.lds.org official web site. There you will be able to find basic history and beliefs of the faith.

Typical Sunday worship meeting consists of Sacarament meeting (would be like mass or the main chapel worship) (entire family), Sunday School(genders together, minors are grouped by age, adults often grouped by topic/study course) and Relief Society for the women, Priesthood for the men. Children attend Primary, teens attend Young men/Young womens. Children attend Primary for both the "class periods" I'm confusing myself here and I've attended services for 29 years this way.... Here is my Sunday church schedule

1-2:10 Sacarament meeting
2:15-3:05 Sunday School / Primary
3:10-4:00 Relief Society, Priesthood, Primary, Young mens and Young womens.

Ward = neighborhood congregation ie parish(meets together weekly)
Stake = about 8 wards combined together to form a larger group. (meets a couple of times a year.)
Stake president - lay male leader over the entire stake
Bishop = lay male leader over the ward.
RS president - Relief Society president - woman over the Relief Society which is the woman's organization in the LDS church. Relief Society has is a service and educational group. Along with the Sunday classes there are occasionally weekday meetings and service oppurtunities.

Hoprfully this helps clear things up a bit.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Lactivism
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › And it happened to me. Update on post 96