Oh no, potty problem-please help

[tbone]

I just started EC with my 5 month old a few days ago. The first few times it went great, but as expected there have been plenty of times when he was bare bottom and I didn't get him to the bathroom in time. My big problem is that ds1, who's 2.7 years, just successfully finished potty training this month (we did not EC him) and when he saw ds2 pee on the on the blanket he then later purposely pee'd in his pants. He does still occasionally have accidents but this was definately intentional. He then pointed to the baby and said 'baby does it'. Now I'm afraid to continue the EC because I don't want ds2 to regress. Anyone else have this problem? Any thoughts or suggestions would be great. Thanks!

[hipumpkins]

I did not have that problem but do you think if you said, "show the baby where the pee goes?" that he would like to help teach the baby?

[tbone]

I did try that the rest of the day, but he seemed to get frustrated because he thought it wasn't working. If it's not instant gratification it's not worth it to him, he can't really think long term yet. By bedtime he didn't want to go to the toilet at all and made a big fuss about how he " don't wanna try". :

[lexmas]

Hmm...this is definately a problem I never thought about! Maybe you can explain that when he was a baby he had accidents too, because a baby doesn't know where the pee pee goes, but boy are you proud that he knows where it goes! Something like making a big deal about how he's "better" at this than the baby and how that makes him special... Of course, I wouldn't recommend this if the baby knew what you were saying to his brother...

I would assume that people who are potty training sometimes have this problem with other children being in diapers? I would just try making the distinction between a baby and a "big boy", ignoring the EC idea that there is no age for potty training, because in his experience, there IS a difference between what babies do (for him, wear diapers, for this baby, have accidents) and what he should do now.

Good Luck, let us know what works for you!

[tbone]

Thanks for the advice. He did a little better today, he went to the bathroom but instead of using the toilet he used the baby's infant potty seat. No big deal though, at least he went.
I can tell that whenever the baby goes in the toilet or potty and I praise him, ds1 gets this look of 'that used to be only me' on his poor little face. I still give him lots of praise and tell him that the baby's learning because of him, but dh thinks I should just stop EC-ing. I really don't want to stop but I also really don't want to hurt ds1 feelings or have him regress either.
If I only EC when ds1 is napping or not paying attention, will it still be effective?
BTW, I caught ds2 poop in the toilet for the first time today!!!

[lexmas]

I'm glad things went better today! I think its understandable for ds1 to be jealous...not having 2 kids, I'm not schooled in how to handle that, but hopefully someone else can help you here!

If you only ec when ds1 isn't paying attention, it will still help ds2 learn that there are other places to go other than his diaper, and that you're willing to communicate with him, so I wouldn't give up entirely...even a little can go a long way!

[tbone]

I will continue EC-ing while ds1 is napping or involved with something, maybe later he won't mind as much and I can do it more.
Thank you so much for your advice and support!!!!