starting to freak...

[LydiaJW]

I have been feeling really relaxed about labor/birth this whole pregnancy. This will be my first natural birth and I have been reading everything on the subject and up til now have felt really confident.

Then I just now watched the Nova program, the part about the third trimester and birth, etc. And I'm seeing that baby crown and I'm thinking "aww heck no!! there is NO WAY I can do that!!"

I'm really starting to panic now. Yeah, I'm scared.

[avaylee]

Ohmygosh! I was about to post something nearly word for word what you said. I've been doing great this whole pregnancy, and started reading Birthing From Within tonight... first chapter, what's my question? My question is... How the hell am I going to do this?!? Definitely some major fear going on. DH was awesome in sitting and talking with me about it, but suggested I come up here and post just so I knew that I wasn't alone in being scared of labor and birth itself.

And then there was your post. Oh bless you for saying exactly what I was thinking. Maybe it comes with being in the 35th week?

Thank you thank you thank you for posting tonight!

[*clementine*]

I was scared through my whole fourth pregnancy. I don't know why........I just couldn't get my mind around giving birth, and I'd been really centered and into it every other time.
I would lay awake at night wondering how I was going to do it. I was SICK with fear.
And then the time came and I was fine. It was like my mind shifted out of think mode and my body took over. I couldn't believe how unafraid I was when it came time to do it.

[MissInformed]

I was totally freaking the other night too. This is my 4th and all up until now I had been cool, calm, and collected about the whole thing...thing the other night...WHAM!!!....the thoughts of "I can't do this, How am I going to do this, I don't want to do this" started popping up. I'm starting to calm down a little now...just figure it's normal in our society to have fears about it....just keep reminding myself that I CAN do this...

[MrsTC]

I quit watching graphic stuff like that toward the end of my first pregnancy so I wasn't haunted by mental images of such great contortion to that part of the body. I didn't think it was good for me to dwell on it. I think if nature meant for you to be able to see what happens to your crotch when a baby comes out of it, it would have designed us with long, giraffe-like necks. I didn't want a mirror to watch while I pushed, didn't look in a mirror to check my two stitches when healing after the birth, none of that. I figured that was a mental picture I didn't want, ya know?

I am getting bouts of early labor and random crotch-area sensations that remind me of the sensations that happen during labor and pushing and I'm really, truly not looking forward to the oooooowwwwwwwweeeeeee factor of the birth, but on the flipside, I wouldn't choose to be drugged or numbed through it, because I think it's part of the experience.

You CAN do it, a woman's body and spirit are made for birthing.

[kdf]

I was watching a Birth Story two day ago and they were showing the head coming out and I was the same way. "I can't do this" that hurts too much. But then I realized I can do this. I really don't have a choice the baby has to come out and I am not having c-section so I will do this. In the middle of the night I still freak out a bit on how am I going to deliver this baby. What is it going to be like?Since I don't remember what contractions feel like and pushing and everything. Also this baby isn't going to be born in water so that is going to be different too.
But we can all do it. We were made to birth naturally without drugs.

[Mizelenius]

The crowning is over really fast, IME. It can sting sometimes, but I would try positions other than lying down to give birth. I ended up on my knees this last time and it was great!

I find the very end of transition to be the hardest. For me, that has been maybe 4 contractions of really hard work. We are talking minutes-- MINUTES. I have never labored in a pool but I bet that be amazing.

There was an article in Mothering talking about the use of the word pain in labor. It is not a good word-- not descriptive. When you labor avoid using it. Think "tightening" or even "sore" or "pressure" if you must, but better yet surrender to what you are feeling. Give in to it, listen to what your body tells you to do, relish the breaks with your whole self, tell yourself only positive things (I am doing it), be very specific about how you feel (no, "it hurts") and know that IT WILL END.

Oh, yeah, and don't wonder how you'll do it-- just know that you will. You don't have to figure it out now because you're not meant to. Take it one cx at a time-- never look ahead-- and believe.

[LydiaJW]

Thank you all so much...that really means a lot to me!!

I know I was made to do this and I know I CAN and WILL do this. I think I'm just experiencing prelabor panic...but I'm trying to work thru it the way I know I'll have to when transition hits and I feel panicky. I think it is the lack of memory from one birth to another that is so hard...its like the first time all over again, the only difference is I know somehow I managed it in the past, and I'll be able to do it again. I won't give in to an epidural!!

[maranapanda]

I am so there with you. I have been having a really hard time the last couple of days. I ended up with an epidural at 9.5 cm with DD. This time I will be in a birth center, so that wont be an option. Although, this time I should be able to stay in the tub, and not have to get out during transition, like I did last time. I go between bouts of anxiety focused on " I can't wait another 3 to 7 weeks" " I am getting too big, and too uncomfortable" then I swing over to "I can not give birth" "I remember what it felt like, Thunder and lightning inside" "I am going to feel like a wild animal, and my husband is going to suck"


So, I am trying to find guided meditation techniques online. Trying to focus on all the things I will be doing different this time that will have a major positive impact. There will be NO world series playing the the background. I will have candles, music, Midwives, not L&D nurses, a big tub that I don't have to leave. And the knowledge that I have done it before.

Ok, now I am back to thinking I am some how going to fail. I know that is not even a possible option. This baby is coming out.

As I am starting to freak again, I should stop this post before I spread negative vibes. Maybe someone can start a very positive thread of only very encouraging words, tips, and techniques.....

:

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by LydiaJW

I think it is the lack of memory from one birth to another that is so hard...

No, mama, this is a GOOD thing! Nature erases our memory so that we can do it again! I swear, during those last cx I said "never again" but in retrospect (memory loss) I know I could!

[deuxceleste]

That positive thread was started!

I hope you're feeling better about everything. On a side note, I ordered BFW- a little late in the game, maybe, but I got it for about 3 bucks off Barnes and Noble's website.

I'm so excited... hopefully it'll help with the preparation part.

[JennyClaire]

I wish I'd had Internet a few weeks ago (I'm a library Internet gal only now) to read this because I've been going through these same fears for the past few weeks, and getting frustrated with everyone I know because they only tell me not to focus on them or I'll make them reality. And I KNOW that once I'm IN labor I WON'T be afraid anymore, but that doesn't seem to stop these pre-labor anxiety attacks.

I feel like crying when I think of the sensations (I won't use the "P" word), worries about baby getting stuck, having something wrong with it, excessive bleeding, humiliating myself with wimpering in front of my teenager (who missed the last birth).

I've done this twice before, so I should be okay, and most of the time I'm not dwelling on it, but now (at 37 1/2 weeks) there are these moments of OMG - I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nandodianenicole]

I get those fleating fear moments too sometimes, I keep going back to my first labor--all natural and remembering I told DH we were not doing this again! But I know I can do it, that I have done it and that for thousands of yrs, all women have done it. Have faith in yourself, you can do this, and you dont have to see your baby crowning, you will just be in the moment. My great grandmother was the town midwife back in the old country and when my grandmother was pregnant she was scared of birth and would ask her--Does it hurt much? And my great grandmother pointed out to the crowd and said to her--"see all these people out there, they were all born the same way". I go back to that and I feel better.