Visiting relatives...What would you do?

[lexmas]

We're going to visit my husband's relatives in May, and staying with them. They don't know about EC (actually, I've mentioned that we cloth diaper, and they seem to ignore that, and keep talking to me like we use disposibles...) and I haven't mentioned it yet, since I don't really know them well enough to have any idea what they'll think about it. I'm torn between bringing it up now, and letting them get used to the idea, or just showing up and doing it, and springing it on them that way. They're very nice whenever I talk to them, and we talk about parenting all the time, but they're very mainstream also, so I'm not sure which would be the better way...

I figure that we'll probably have lots of accidents, it being a new place and us being so busy while we're visiting...so I don't want them to see EC as "hey, remember when the cousins came up and their baby peed all over the whole time..."

Not that important really, but I thought I'd get some imput from people who also EC, and don't think its "crazy"! Thanks for your imput!

[runes]

honestly, i wouldn't go into another person's home and fully ec without a diaper back-up. i would use a diaper back-up in this instance.

[sapphire_chan]

Yeah, no need to stress you and the babe out. You'd probably have *more* misses diaper free in a strange environment.

[cmg]

We're doing the same thing in March (visiting dh's parents) - and staying with folks we don't know! I was just going to bring the potty and disposies (we're staying in a hotel part of the time) and surreptitiously pee the baby when possible. Actually, they may have more of a problem w/baby girl wearing blue than peeing in a potty at age 3mos...

[lexmas]

Yeah, I planned on using diapers, we do now, although I do hope to have him in training pants by then. I didn't really mean pee all over, I meant more of, "they take their baby to the bathroom all the time, nbut look at that huge pile of wet diapers they have..." I feel like introducing other people to it suddenly when we're obviously going to have a lot of misses is just bad press for EC...

[lexmas]

Originally Posted by cmg

We're doing the same thing in March (visiting dh's parents) - and staying with folks we don't know! I was just going to bring the potty and disposies (we're staying in a hotel part of the time) and surreptitiously pee the baby when possible. Actually, they may have more of a problem w/baby girl wearing blue than peeing in a potty at age 3mos...

well, I suppose I could just kind of make it a non-issue this way, but I guess my problem with that is that if we were visiting my family, I'd just go about EC as normal, well probably being more cautious that pee didn't get anywhere, so I'd feel bad for DS not continuing as we normally do. I'm just thinking how it would be if I had never heard of EC and someone came to my house with their 5 month old and a little potty,,,I would probably think they were off their rocker. And I've never met these people in real life before. Maybe I just shouldn't care what they think...


Oh, and good luck with the baby girl in blue lol...if I knew that bothered someone I'd man it up as much as I could...trucks, trains, dinosaurs...lol (sure, irking people that way is fine with me, but introduce a little potty into the equation and I'm chicken... )

[splunky]

I am in the same boat. We will be visting for an entire month in the summer while on vacation. Am not sure how it will go, but hope to be in a much better routine with EC. DD is 3 mo. old and when she's not diapered we have almost no misses, but maybe that's because I pay attention more (?)

Also, we use sposies when out and about, but when we use clothe at home, she rarely goes in them, we usually just put them lightly around her, or on our laps. So, maybe if we use clothe when on vacation, she will be less likely to pee in them? I totally understand the feeling of missing when others are watching or aware, like we failed EC or something. But, comeon, it's a baby, they can't expect him/her to be perfect!

We have hads family visiting here and it's hard because meeting her for the first time I am sure they want to hold her alot, but noone really wants to hold a baby with nakey butt! So, I diaper her and watch like a hawk for signs so we don't regress. This makes them feel just as uncomfortable. Will have family for the next 8 wks. so it's not like I can just diaper her and wait till they leave to resume as normal. I am always the one in the family to bring about new and weird things, so I am used to the comments, but it's just one more thing, ya know?

Hope it goes well, and give us your tips!

[cmg]

Yeah, this is a bit of a socially tricky situation. I've got my mom and her sister visiting right now - they're both very mellow people, mom's even pooped and peed the baby! - and I've just handled it by saying "let me package up the baby for you" and putting on a diaper before handing her over. And if it looks like she needs to pee, saying "let me do a pee check". Since she's starting to fuss when she has to pee, that helps.

I guess I'm not too stressed about the occaisional miss when family has her. We catch a good percentage of pees/poops right after nursing and naps, and those are easy to manage without having to get baby back from someone. I figure, as long as she's having fun playing (and not fussing) then if we get a wet diaper, no big deal. I think babies are smart enough to figure out that some people will respond to their cues, others won't, and that doesn't mean stop cueing.

If the visitors object to you taking the baby to pee, then they can just change the dirty diaper themselves ;-). Actually, you may find that, if you just do it without making an issue of it, they'll get curious rather than suspicious... of course, I'm the one in the family that's never had any problem doing the weird and wacky thing without a thought as to what other people think!

DD's also 3 mos - I'm impressed that you're up to almost no misses! We get a fair amount, but I still get peed on (carrying her around on a pre-fold) at least 2-3 times a day .

[granolalight]

Hey gals,

We are doing the same thing, traveling and staying w/ relatives in March. DS will be 3 months. I've been wondering how we will handle ECing. I was thinking about taking his BBLP (which he really seems to like, and we have more catches there than on the toilet) and just diapering. I guess I am expecting a regression, to some degree, and we will resume when we return home.

Hey btw, I plan to use sposies while traveling. Do y'all know about g diapers? They are sposies that are biodegradable. You can flush them or throw them in the trash. I haven't purchased yet but have friends who love them. Here is the link to their site:

http://www.gdiapers.com/home

Be sure to watch the videos.

Good luck, Christa!

[cmg]

We just got back from a short trip; used disposies and brought the potty along (dd is 3 mos and diaper free at night). I brought a small number of cloth diapers for night time and just rinsed them out in the hotel sink. Oddly enough, with a few misses/poopy disposies, she's started signaling more!

g diapers look cool - Whole Foods carries them, I think, or at least has biodegradable ones. We still have a package full of pampers someone gave us, so we used that last trip (ick).

[lexmas]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who answered, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with this problem!

I'm really not a big sposie fan, but I may get some g-diapers for the trip, since that would probably be easier than lugging the cloth with me...and they do look pretty cool lol.

For those of you taking trips before me...let me know what you did and how it goes! Thanks again!

[Leilab]

I was just thinking about this. I wasn't sure if I should bring it up to my in-laws before going to visit (they only live 1 hour away, so we often have the opportunity to go) or if we should just act casual about it.

Well, I waited, didn't tell them in the many phone conversations we'd had. Early this week, I got sick and needed help taking care of dd. DH's grandmother and brother came in to help and when they first walked in, Gram said, "potty training early", with a giggle. I should have prefaced this reply with a note saying that dh's side of the fam is pretty open but they also do things because "everyone else does them" and so long as it's tradition (nothing against traditions in essence, I just promote questioning what you do and not following blindly). So, anyway, once Gram saw dd peeing and pooping (they were here most of the day) she just started giggling and kept repeating how funny she thought it was.

I didn't want to draw any parallels, so I just smiled and kept tuning into my dd. When I was telling dh about her reaction, he reminded me that he laughed a little when he first saw dd pee/poo in the toilet, which reminded me that everyone will react differently to this.

With my side of the fam, I start introducing ideas early. They'll get used to it (usually). They just need time. I, too, have had a history of bringing home "wild" ideas.

To sum up, that's my way of saying that I didn't want to address it, but was forced to. Interesting thing Gram said when I was going to hand dd to her, "I've been peed on before". In a way, I think she "got" it.

good luck and post what you learn.

_______________________
Mami to Julieta Elisa (12/6/06) :2bfbabe: by day : by night

[EdnaMarie]

Kind of OT but my DH's relatives are Asian so they all EC. It still feels weird though because I'm always afraid they'll think I'm bad at it. You can't win...

[tbone]

We haven't made any trips yet, but we will be visiting relatives in April. I know they would hate if if I didn't have a diaper on the baby. I don't think they would be too suprised if they knew I was ec-ing, they always think the way I do things is 'kooky'. But they just wouldn't want any misses inside their house. I think just taking the baby every 20-30 minutes or so would work, if you will have your own room (with little potty) and/or bathroom, they probably wouldn't even know. Good luck!

[mrskingred]

We will be visiting the grands in April, but are planning on using cloth diapers as that'e what we usually do. I will take the bblp with us, unless I can get my MIL to get a bebe jou for me. We use gdiapers with a cutup cheap prefold during the day and their inserts for if we are out and about, because if we have a miss, we can flush the insert away.
I'm more worried about the 8 hour flight with a crawler and lugging the carseat than I am about ec. My MIL is very open but my Mum won't even discuss it!

[KBug]

I just wanted to encourage you travellers - sometimes babies do even better at EC in a strange place! The novelty of somewhere new to pee seems to work well with my DS and he seems willing to hold it longer when travelling. If they resist, just back-off a bit. Sometimes it's me - I'm either more distracted or too obsessed when I'm somewhere else. I use cloth back-up at most places, except my parents and a few friends that are laid-back. I am very casual about it and don't announce what I'm doing unless people ask. Put the wet diapers away where no one can see them and comment on the laundry. Don't worry what people think/say - you're just as likely to get a positive response! I find some of the older generation really don't like how long children are diapered for these days.

I had a great travelling incident this week. I took DS to a work meeting in another city and we went to use the bathroom. My colleague escorted us to the bathroom because she had to escort us out of the building as well. I very casually took off his dry diaper, opened a stall, lifted the seat, made the cue noise and he peed in the toilet. She was so impressed and thought he was the smartest baby ever! I total her about EC and she plans to tell some friends/family about it that have young babies.

[rumi]

I just wanted to encourage you travellers - sometimes babies do even better at EC in a strange place!

:
ITA

our first major trip, when dd was 10 months old, I packed ALL kinds of dipes - and we had fewer misses than at home. Go to potty, put the same dipe back on as if it were underwear. This would go on all day. Gotta have a double consciousness - yes she is wearinga dipe, and yes, i can still take her to potty.

[runes]

Originally Posted by kidspiration

honestly, i wouldn't go into another person's home and fully ec without a diaper back-up. i would use a diaper back-up in this instance.

my post wasn't very clear. i also wanted to mention that i would absolutely still ec, just not do any nakey butt time at someone elses house.

our bblp fits well in our suitcase, i actually stuff it with underwear and socks in order to optimize space. it's amazing how many pairs of socks fit in the 'underside' of the potty.

[FelixMom]

I am currently vacationing at my parents house, but since we are an Asian family, there's no "shock" value in my ECing DD.

I do keep her in cloth diapers between potty-tunities, but I've had more misses than usual because she is so distracted by the novelty of grandpa's house that by the time I take her to potty the diaper's already wet...

As a pp said, just carry on with your business as usual, and only talk about ECing if they are curious. No point in drawing attention if it will be seen in a negative way.

On a similar vein, my FIL will be looking after the kiddies and I don't know whether to encourage him to hold DD over the potty or not... guess that's another thread altogether.

[Twwly]

I would personally be honest and upfront about the fact that you EC. (And that EC is a gentle, NO PRESSURE method). So much of EC (to my anyway) is emotional, unspoken signals between babe & I and I think to try to hide it, or put that sort of negative emotional spin on it wouldn't be a good thing.

I thought perhaps my MIL & fam would think we were nuts, but it turns out (once my MIL was telling HER mother all about our terrific toileting) that she herself was potty trained as an infant. So you never know, you may be pleasantly surprised at their reactions.