I just wanted to get some insight and maybe just vent a little. I dunno.
Basically what is going on is about 4 weeks ago my grandfather had a sudden change in mental status and mobility. He was living at home and seemingly doing well. We begged and pleaded with him until he decided to go to the hospital (ems and the police were both involved as he didn't want to go) due to the fact that he has a history of stroke that had all happened the same way before.
He got to the hospital and unfortuneatly it was much much worse then a stroke. He was severely septic (had probably known for a while he was sick and said nothing) and declined very very fast. They had to do extensive surgrey and basically remove his entire backside and put in a colostomy bag. They were unable to close the wound due to the severe infection. He has never recovered and has continued going downhill.
He is now being kept alive with meds and lifesupport and continues to get worse. My mother is willing to let go and feels it is the right thing to do but refuses (even though she is legally the next of kin due to being the oldest child) to go againist her siblings wishes and her brothers and sisters want him kept alive through all means. His internist stated several days ago that it is about a million to one chance of him leaving the hospital alive no matter what they do. He contiues to be septic and has infections throughout his body. He has very low blood pressure (at one point yesturday was 50/20) and isn't absorbing the nutrients that they are attempting to give him through both his central line and his g-tube (tube in his nose to stomache). He is also in great pain and the wound on his back is about 12 inches wide and 8 inches deep. His skin graph to attempt to cover part of it was rejected by his body...The list just goes on and on. He has been extremely critical for over a week now. It is so hard to sit back and wait for something to happen. I have accepted that he is going at some point going to leave this earth but the waiting is pushing both myself and my mother (whom I am very close with) to the edge. Now my aunts and uncles are all fighting over what should be done and it just adds to the enormous stress.
I love my grandfather so much but have accepted that he is 77 years old and is fading. But I still feel that I am unable to truely deal with my grief between the wait, the bickering and constant findings of new medical problems that they are attempting to patch up as they go along.
For those of you that have been through long illnesses or have dealt with this hard issues of making decisions to pull life support on a family member how did you cope? Also what is the best way for me to support my mother (because she is falling apart at this point) as she deals with the impending loss of her father and the issues of making the right decision without knowing what my grandfather would want done.
Thanks for reading. I think just venting has made this easier!
Basically what is going on is about 4 weeks ago my grandfather had a sudden change in mental status and mobility. He was living at home and seemingly doing well. We begged and pleaded with him until he decided to go to the hospital (ems and the police were both involved as he didn't want to go) due to the fact that he has a history of stroke that had all happened the same way before.
He got to the hospital and unfortuneatly it was much much worse then a stroke. He was severely septic (had probably known for a while he was sick and said nothing) and declined very very fast. They had to do extensive surgrey and basically remove his entire backside and put in a colostomy bag. They were unable to close the wound due to the severe infection. He has never recovered and has continued going downhill.
He is now being kept alive with meds and lifesupport and continues to get worse. My mother is willing to let go and feels it is the right thing to do but refuses (even though she is legally the next of kin due to being the oldest child) to go againist her siblings wishes and her brothers and sisters want him kept alive through all means. His internist stated several days ago that it is about a million to one chance of him leaving the hospital alive no matter what they do. He contiues to be septic and has infections throughout his body. He has very low blood pressure (at one point yesturday was 50/20) and isn't absorbing the nutrients that they are attempting to give him through both his central line and his g-tube (tube in his nose to stomache). He is also in great pain and the wound on his back is about 12 inches wide and 8 inches deep. His skin graph to attempt to cover part of it was rejected by his body...The list just goes on and on. He has been extremely critical for over a week now. It is so hard to sit back and wait for something to happen. I have accepted that he is going at some point going to leave this earth but the waiting is pushing both myself and my mother (whom I am very close with) to the edge. Now my aunts and uncles are all fighting over what should be done and it just adds to the enormous stress.
I love my grandfather so much but have accepted that he is 77 years old and is fading. But I still feel that I am unable to truely deal with my grief between the wait, the bickering and constant findings of new medical problems that they are attempting to patch up as they go along.
For those of you that have been through long illnesses or have dealt with this hard issues of making decisions to pull life support on a family member how did you cope? Also what is the best way for me to support my mother (because she is falling apart at this point) as she deals with the impending loss of her father and the issues of making the right decision without knowing what my grandfather would want done.
Thanks for reading. I think just venting has made this easier!
