Are you having more? How irritating...

[Electra375]

My 4th child is 4weeks old. I haven't been out much, but family and friends do ask me are we having more? What kind of question is that?
I don't feel like it even justifies an answer. I have ignored the question mostly. I don't know how to even respond to such a personal question. I don't think our sex life, our choice to use or not use birth control or our personal beliefs are any one's business, not even my parents.
I mean really, what kind of answer do they want? "we leave it to G-d", "don't know", "maybe", "if we are blessed again"... What kind of answer would just shock the pants off people to get them to back off such an intrusive question?

[CrunchyBikerMama]

I think Ann Landers or Dear Abby (or both) have always written that a good response to inappropriate personal questions is "Why on earth would you ask me such a personal question?" Puts THEM on the spot. I've never had the guts to answer in this way, though.

[Full Heart]

Yes...didn't you know? I'm expecting again.

Yes, I finally found that thing I am really good at.

Yes, we are trying to out number the idiots.

Yes, we keep trying for an ugly one.

Or ask them Why? you looking for pointers?

[skyblufig]

Originally Posted by Full Heart

Yes...didn't you know? I'm expecting again.

Yes, I finally found that thing I am really good at.

Yes, we are trying to out number the idiots.

Yes, we keep trying for an ugly one.

Or ask them Why? you looking for pointers?

Thanks -- I totally needed that today

[Seie]

I dont think people mean to be intrusive when they ask that question. I get it often too - and we only just had our third, but people seem to think that we have a lot of children already and that we are very "productive".

I think that question is often asked of pure interest because your choice is a different one from theirs.

Personally I dont mind people asking me, and I tend to give an honest answer. My answer right now if people ask is that we hope for 4 children, but that we have not made a final decision.

I see why you find it a very personal question though, and I dont see anything wrong in telling people that - in a polite way ofcourse.

No harm in telling them that you dont feel comfortable with such personal questions..

[RockStarMom]

Originally Posted by Full Heart

Yes...didn't you know? I'm expecting again.

I looooooooove that. People ask me this all the time. I'm a single college student! Why on earth would they be asking if I'm having more? Why would I even know, at this point, if I'm ever having more?!
I agree that people probably don't mean to be intrusive, but...ugh...I hate being asked this too.

[lolar2]

If I am ever in that situation, I will choose to believe that they mean "Your children are so amazing! Please please please have more so that the world may be blessed by their presence!"

[krismarie]

i hate that! i was just saying that to someone...about HOW MANY people ACTUALLY asked me if we're having more within TWO months of my son's birth!!?? i wish i was able to pull off that response-- "yes, didn't you know"

[Electra375]

At least I'm not the only one being asked this and being asked when the last has JUST been born. Frankly, giving birth again is the furtherest thing from my mind!

But the truth is I don't know. There are a lot of things I'm dealing with. My physical healing is most concerning, I may end up NEEDING surgery on my Yoni. I won't know for another month or even more time from that. IF I do end up needing surgery, I won't have anymore children. I won't do more c/s just to have more children and dh will have to go have a vas b/c I don't want to end up with a c/s in my upper 30s from an "oops". IF the corrective surgery is not necessary at this time, then I might have another one.

SO this kind of question is extremely personal given all the factors I'm dealing with. B/c no one wants to hear the whole story and I don't want to spend 15 mintues explaining myself to someone or anyone.

[engineer_mom]

I hear you.

My neighbor was planning when I would have my second, so she could have hers at the first time. I just smiled and kept my mouth shut.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

It is a very personal question imo its like asking if you've had sex again yet

[Robinna]

I'm a pretty unihibited person so my response was generally deliberately TMI, and went something like, "well, if my breasts stop leaking and I start feeling like having sex again at some point, you never know what might happen..." All said very pleasantly and casually, of course.

[MommytoTwo]

[QUOTE][Yes, we are trying to out number the idiots./QUOTE]

[wildthing]

We have used the "We'll stop when we get an ugly one."

I get tired of it, because having so many already, it is asked in a slightly different tone, I think. Maybe not, but it still bugs me.

However, what bugs ME even MORE, is when I say "I am done.", and get comments like "Uh huh....suuuurrreee you are" Gah

[cappuccinosmom]

My 4th child is 4weeks old. I haven't been out much, but family and friends do ask me are we having more? What kind of question is that?

You must have passed the Limit of Acceptable Breeding and are now considered fair game for rude, intrusive questions.

"We're trying to beat the Duggars" might shock them, if that's what you want to do.

[BetsyS]

"We're trying to beat the Duggars"

We only have one child, so even though we get the question, we don't get the same tone and inflection. But, I have used this line, too, just to make people stop and reconsider their question. And who knows? Maybe we will have 17.

[CrunchyBikerMama]

Originally Posted by BetsyS

"We're trying to beat the Duggars"

ha, i like this one. this will certainly shock them into silence!!

[phathui5]

"I hope so"

"Well, we do have a big house"

[bobandjess99]

how about:
actually, we're not sure if we're doing it right, could you (and their dh, if applicable) come over tonight and check for us?

[Full Heart]

Originally Posted by phathui5

"I hope so"

"Well, we do have a big house"

Dh has used on numerous occasions the big house one. We do have a 5 bedroom and he tells people with 2 sets of bunk beds in each of the kids rooms we could easily have 16 kids before we had to start thinking about other places to put them. The look of shock and horror on their faces has been priceless.