stress I didnt need right now, DH may not be at birth

[nandodianenicole]

I'm trying not to freak out until I actually know it will happen, but my FIL in europe needs to have hrt surgery soon. Early Feb they told him it would be in 1 month, which means early March we think--right when I am due. Dh doesnt think he'll make it (he's got numerous issues) and wants to be there to see him while he is still alive, maybe be there for the surgery. : I understand he wants to be there for dad, but what the @*#% ! I can go into labor any day now!
I am seriously hoping that it gets delayed to late march or something (we hope to find out an exact date next week). I honestly don't have anyone else I would like at the birth (my sister would be freaked out, my friends all have kids they may not be able to leave instantly for my birth and I really dont want my mother or grandmother there--they would stress me out!) Plus I have my 4yo to think of.
I am sure everything will work out, but had to vent.

[seeing_stars]

What a tough situation! I'd be freaking out too. I hope you guys can find something that works out for everyone involved.

[MissInformed]

omigosh...that stinks!! let us know when you find out the date....hoping for late march!!

[Wild Flowers]

I hope it works out. I actually know exactly what you are going through. It isn't fun. I will keep you in my thoughts. And ask Cinnamonamon to send you vibes, it worked for my dh, though he had to go again I am hoping that he gets to come home again.

[Mizelenius]

I was worried about something similar, but in the end DH was there but I was alone (by choice) for the hardest part and he just saw the actual birth. How do you like to labor? If not alone, can you get a doula? People suggested a student doula to me . . .I thought that was a great idea.

[deuxceleste]

That's a sticky one, and in all honesty I don't know what I would do in that situation. While your DH needs to be there for his father, it's also very important that he be there for you.

What is he saying about it? What are his thoughts? I'm sure he's going through quite a bit of thinking right through now...

Please keep us updated on what's going on, mama.

[mrskennedy]

You're his wife, right? So he should be there for you. He made this baby, so how could he possibly want to leave? People have surgery all the time. People have babies all the time too, but if he misses this, you could resent him for it and have other problems. Hopefully that doesn't happen! But it could. He needs to decide which is his priority, if it comes to that. Here's to hoping there doesn't have to be a decision! And you're right, it's definitely stress you don't need!

[lunadoula]

That's tough mama. I would echo a PP in hiring a doula, just in case. I've worked with a couple mamas as a doula in situations where the partner couldn't/maybe couldn't be there.