|Originally posted by untomySelf
Child centredness in my understanding can occur in any home with any style of living.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that my CC friend is very joyful and free with her children. There is alotta joy in that house. Her 16 month old DD crawls to her when she wants to and mom is all open arms and loving.
This reminded me of something else... yesterday I went to see a one-woman show in LA (very off-off-off Broadway) in a small theater called Cheerios in my Underwear
. Obviously, it's about motherhood.
It was OK. I was expecting it to be funnier.
Anyway, there were short scenes... her explaining motherhood to a friend... her multi-tasking and meeting the needs of her 4-yr old DD (trying to get out the door to preschool) and her baby... an annoying-as-hell
bit of her imitating a brain-dead preschool teacher (very patronizing)... at the beginning of each scene, she'd read from statistics or the book The Mask of Motherhood
That so annoyed me. Had I known this was a Mask of Motherhood type show, I would have skipped it. I know there are lots of women who feel let down by motherhood,
and I do think it's because they are too child-centered. There she was, baking muffins. Who are the muffins for? The kids? Or because she thinks she needs to make muffins? Bake muffins because it brings you joy. Don't do it because you feel obligated. It's very odd, but I think most mothers focus too much on the kids needs, and forget themselves completely. Or they don't know how to meet both needs. I really don't know.
The big red flag to me was the room. The room was a big kids room... kids toys, kids art work, it looked like a preschool. Was it her home? Or a preschool? I think it was her home. So now her life is all about her kids... no wonder she's so frazzled.
Liedloff helped me to see that it is possible to have one's own interest and still have your children be a part of your life.
Anyway, back to my CC friend. She is one of the most happy and centered people I know. She loves being a SAHM. She's not one of these moms are who running around frazzled (like me some days) and frustrated with their child/ren.
I have another friend AP who LOVES to read and reads while her DD plays.
See? Everybody gets their needs met. She is also one of the most centered people I know.To me, being child centred means nothing more than being compassionate and respectful -- trying to see the world from her eyes. I would do this for any person that I love, so why not for my child?
That's exactly the way I feel.