My BFing nightmare today

[Elaina_Bell_19]

I'm new at all this BFing stuff and i just about lost it today girls. Kristopher didn't want to latch on or anything, didn't want anything to do with the boob and it was almost 3 hours since he last fed. I was about to give up. I think i really messed up by giving him a pacifier last night so we are deffinetly (sp?) going to stop the use of that until he is at least 6 weeks if not forever. My mom was here helping me but my sister got really sick and had to go to Emergency and i thought it wise to just stay home instead of packing the baby up and taking him out. Its way too soon for that. DH is at work and im basically all alone with him. I feel horrible for being so scared. Anyone else feel like this being a new mom or have any ideas that would help me not be so scared?

[AngieB]

The only thing I can think to tell you is RELAX. Is he crying and acting hungry or just sleepy and not interested? My babies slept a lot the first few days and I would just keep waking them up and try to get them to nurse every few hours. Also got to the Breastfeeding board, the mom's there will have lots of advise and info for you. It will be fine, you can do this!!

[Full Heart]

Was he hungry or was it that it was just a long time since he last nursed? Sometimes babies will go hours between nursing and thats ok as long as they pick it back up again. Sometimes babies will cluster nurse, which is nurse for a long time then they will sleep for a few hours. Was he sleepy? Sometimes changing their diaper will wake them up enough to nurse. Was he crying and just not latching on?

THe first 6 weeks are the hardest, you are still getting to know each other. Don't let it get you down. You are doing great! And def get rid of the paci!

[jkg]

I was so scared those first few weeks with DS1. It's all going to be OK. Keep paying attention to Kristopher and soon you will learn what he wants and needs and when (wearing the baby in a sling or other carrier really helps with this). Do you have a LLL chapter near you? You might be able to give a group leader a call and see if she can come to check out his latch. Perhaps the nursing position was uncomfortable for him? Or, you might need to try to wake him up (if he was sleeping) to make sure he nurses. I had to do that with DS--change his diaper, remove a layer of clothing, something to gently stimulate him to let him know it's time to eat. Keep it up mama, you're doing fine!

[maranapanda]

I am with the others on this. Relaxing is the best thing you can do. I remember when Ava was first here I worried all the time about how much, how long, and how often she was eating. I have never felt let down, so that didn't help my postpartum paranoia. kellymom.com came in handy for me. Another thing that helped was for me to keep reminding myself that every baby is unique, and so are there feeding patterns. If I knew she was producing wet or soiled diapers, then I knew she was eating. And most importantly as long as there have been babies on this earth, there have been nursing mothers. Somehow they all managed, and so would I. Good luck, believe in your baby, and yourself, and this adjustment period will end!

[prettypixels]

Relaxing is great advice, but also... you might try expressing some milk into his mouth to get him started. When my daughter is super hungry sometimes that gets through, the taste of the milk.

Also... DEFINITELY call LLL. If you are like me you might think that they don't know you and won't really care... (this is *my* personal issue). But it is not true. They do care and will try to give you as much help as they are able. Definitely ditch the paci, too... he's only a few days old, so anytime he wants to suck you should offer your breast. I know it seems like he will be permanently attached, but it will go by so fast! I swear!!!!!

[mamafish9]

Oh sweetie - been there. It took DD 3 days to latch and nurse as a newborn, and those were easily the three most stressful days of my whole life. Getting help is great advice, it is soooo hard to think rationally.... One thing - try nursing in some different positions. It took months before I could get DD properly latched in the "standard" nursing hold - football hold worked WAY better for us. (Football hold - to nurse on the left bb, lie him with his feet and body back under your left arm).

[cinnamonamon]

Elaina -- I'm in Perry on Thursday (appt. at the birthcenter that day); I have been hanging out with my sister (she lives in Countryside Village) -- let me know if you want a visit from another Mothering mama! I'm not a LLL leader or anything, but I have a little experience...

s and contrats on your new little one!

[DecemberSun]

When my son was 5 days old I became engorged and my breasts were so swollen that he didn't recognize the nipple and wouldn't latch on. I had to pump off a little milk before he could nurse again. Maybe that could have been an issue for you? Remember that it does get easier, and that you are not alone!!!

[Mizelenius]

mama! My first would not open her mouth wide enough to latch AND she constantly had her hands over her face. I'd have to wait until she cried to latch while somehow managing to keep her hands away. Then I had abnormal, excrutiating pain for the first 8 weeks. (And we did get help-- her mouth was just very small.) My 2nd refused to nurse more than a minute until 6 weeks!

What you are feeling is so normal-- it is a huge change to have your first babe . . .the emotions, hormones, newness all while somehow having to learn (both you and DS) new skills that are vital. It can be a LOT to handle! With both of my first 2 girls I remember saying, if only breastfeeding would be EASY . . .this wouldn't be so bad!

Get help ASAP (LLL, IBLC)-- even if you have to pay it will be cheaper than formula in the long run. Hang in there because I PROMISE, it will get sooooooooo much easier.

[flydale]

another and another wish sent your way that you relax into the rhythm with your babe soon

I do remember exactly what it was like when my baby wasn't feeding in the first few days the way I was told she should (how often, how long, how easy,...). It is enough to make you feel like you are gonna lose it... and 3 hours can seem like an eternity. But better than time tables, like the other mamas have said, look for other signals your babe is putting out (in the diaper and otherwise), and go with those. You are not alone ... and you can do it... trust in you and your babe.