Gitti - your children and grandchildren

[Mama Dragon]

Gitti, if you wouldn't mind, how did you go about teaching your children not to vax their kids? My DD parrots me, and seems to understand how toxic the chemicals in vaccines are, and how ineffective they are, but I'm concerned that it's, for lack of a better term, brainwashing. What I mean is, I want her to understand vaccines like we all do so she can make the informed choice for her kids (and of course, all my other kids, but she's the only one old enough and interested right now), not just follow my lead because I'm the mom.

Anyone else with grandkids, please chime in too! Gitti's the only one I've noticed mentioning grandkids

[Gitti]

When my dd was pregnant she researched everything. Breast feeding, circumcision, co-sleeping, AP, etc. etc. and she would always tell me about it. We really agreed on everything.

She now says I mentioned the circ issue first, I don't remember... but the Men's health magazine had a very good article back then and she let us all read it (the whole family). Each one of us agreed that no child in our family would from here on be circumcised.

The only issue that she did not research was vaccines. She vaccinated according to schedule.

My grandson had some odd symptoms that started to concern us around the age of 5 mo. He did not smile. NEVER. We could not get him to smile.
And little by little we noticed other problems but the ped would not agree to any problem. I don't want to go into detail but...

About 1 yr later a paternal cousin's son was diagnosed with autism. He was 4 yrs old and dd then had this gut feeling that that's where her son was heading. We talked about it and I started researching vaccines.

Unfortunately I read the Cave book first and came to the conclusion that one shot preservative free would be the way to go. That is how my grandson ended up getting his last dose of the measles at age 15 mo. After that we knew we would not vaccinate any longer.

So, dd and I agreed on the issue. She is divorced and her ex never knew. Still does not know.

This issue and others are a discussion at our Sunday dinner table when we all have dinner together. My son, his wife, dd, dh, grandson and I. We discuss many things, politics, world situations, health, disease, nutrition, etc. My grandson can not help but hear what our views are.

Every child is the product of his environment. My grandson is already very much aware that vaccines are poisons and can't wait to be 12 yr old to educate his father. (He has promised he would not say anything until that age.)

I don't think of it as brainwashing. Is rape a good thing or not? NO it is not. There is no gray in that case. There is only black and white. I feel the same about vaccines.

The fact that dh and I had all the childhood diseases makes it much easier too. The kids and grand kids see that we are healthy in spite of it and we actually believe and tell them it is BECAUSE of it.

My grandson is very much into eating healthy and not taking medicine. Personally I believe that it will help him to stay away from all drugs, legal or illegal. He asks for the CLO before he plays basketball. He asks for SA when he has a sore throat. And he really believes that it helps him get over it quickly.

If that is brainwashing, well, so be it. We can only work with what we have. And our children will ultimately follow in our footsteps. At least we hope they do.

[Deborah]

My daughter called me up when she was pregnant with her first and said: I think our family doesn't vaccinate. Do you know why?

So I told her as much of the family story as I knew and how the alternative health, non-vaxing thing had started with my grandfather way back in the teens of the 20th Century.

She asked me if I could research vaccines for her and suggest some books and stuff. So I did. What I found convinced me that vaxing had just gotten more dangerous. I shared the info and then she and her husband made their own decisions.

Grown-up children cannot be bossed around. The best you can do is be clear about your stance and to be available for discussion. I'm very fortunate that we are good friends and agree on childraising stuff, overall. I've actually learned a lot from my daughter!

[twinsplusone]

Grown-up children cannot be bossed around. The best you can do is be clear about your stance and to be available for discussion. I'm very fortunate that we are good friends

I agree to this, but yet some aspect makes me want to say "mom is right"

I always knew my mom had become very anti-vax. I would half hear her talk about it.....or I should say, I would half listen.
I still sort of did things *my* way........& found out I was wrong.....the hard way......TWICE. Now that I have reaseached for myself.....she & I, & if my younger sister is there, she joins in, on some great conversations

[Gitti]

Originally Posted by Deborah

I'm very fortunate that we are good friends and agree on childraising stuff, overall. I've actually learned a lot from my daughter!

Same here! And I love learning from my kids. They are way more educated than their dad or I am.

There is no worry about anyone being 'bossed' around in our family. That really can't happen with any of them. I respect them very much. I value them tremendously. We discuss. We take turns talking and listening. They make their own decisions. We just happen to all agree on major things. And where we disagree it makes for more interesting discussions.

Sunday dinners are always fun at our house.

One dd lives out of state with her dh and her two intact, unvaccinated sons.

The problem generally is not your own kids, it's the kids that marry into the family. They were raised completely different and it takes time and patience if you want them to go along with your family's philosophy. That has to come gradually and naturally and has to be worked out between the married partners. It is best not to interfere at all.

[twinsplusone]

be worked out between the married partners. It is best not to interfere at all.

I have the BEST inlaws regarding this. They don't (or have never) interfered with my (dh leaves it up to me) decision to not vax

[Mama Dragon]

Good stuff to read I think we'll discuss talking to potential parenting partners about not vaccinating (and many other things)....I can just see DD on a first date with a guy, walking out on him because "vaccines are mankind's greatest achievement"

[Gitti]

Originally Posted by Synthea™

I think we'll discuss talking to potential parenting partners about not vaccinating (and many other things)....

Yeah. Before the marriage you can do it. After they are married

I can just see DD on a first date with a guy, walking out on him because "vaccines are mankind's greatest achievement"

You know, I can see my grandson doing the same!

[Deborah]

Ya know, it is hard for people to plan that far ahead, especially with the raging hormones that do play a significant role in love and marriage.

For my daughter, the topic of vax didn't come up in until she was several months pregnant

They had worked through a lot of alternative medicine stuff during the courtship phase. My sil's mom is a nurse (now retired) and she did not have any truck with weird stuff while raising her kids (although she did natural childbirth and breastfed, so she wasn't stupid, just medically oriented), so he found my daughter's approach to health very weird. They gradually worked it out and he became pretty comfortable with it all.

Not vaxing at first struck him as pretty scary. After they read a couple of books and a pile of articles I found for them, his attitude changed.

I wouldn't discard a perfectly good marital prospect just over vaxing...minds can be changed.