Free Feeding - Page 2

[mwherbs]

maybe it is a dh thing
my husband grew up eating loads of junk when my kids would shop with dh he would want to get lots of junk and the kids would say no- thats too yucky- lets get some apples or fruit leather... and how about some almond butter and whole wheat bread-- if there is anything in the house he eats it up quickly too

[mamamaris]

I am glad to see this discussion. I have young children (5 & 2) and have been thinking about food issues when they get older. I've seen friends that eat healthy but have seen what comes into the house change as the kids get older. Sodas make their debut and more junk food. We have a grazing mentality currently, we do sit down for dinner as a family and ask them to try what we're eating but will give a healthy alternative if asked. The boys will eat a few pieces of candy if it's in the house but lose interest after a few days with Halloween candy. So what do you do when they get older? Do you draw the line somewhere or are you letting them make all of their food decisions while providing the bet you can at home. Highschools these days have soda everywhere and pizza, wings, burgers for lunch (wow-how times have changed)

My mom always let me eat when and what I needed and I feel I have a healthy concept of what is enough for me- of course i don't always act on it with chocolate! I hope my kids will feel the same way.

[Potty Diva]

Our dd is just 6 but we have alwasy done this. We breastfed on demand and continue to allow her to tell us when she is hungry or not, who else is a better judge of her body than her?

This has and is continueing to pay ff. She eats until she is full often leaving a little food on the plate, drinks when she is thirsty, etc. We limit sugary or salty foods and she eats much more fruits than she does sweets(she doesn't like many sweets-hates chocolate).

I don't see why we wouldn't continue this into her teens since the foundation for learning and knowing her bodies ques has already been set.

We are breaking the cycle!

[smillerhouse]

My daughter in particular does not like meals,likes to snack. I have healthy stuff available. Sallie

[Cheeriogal]

I've always been a believer in providing food at regular intervals, with healthy snacks available. I encourage my kids to at least try various foods at dinner, but don't ever force someone to eat. I do restrict my younger kids from turning their nose up at dinner, then filling up on granola bars or ice cream before bed.

My oldest is 14 and I feel like this approach has worked well for her. She regularly snacks on grape tomatoes and eats a fairly varied diet. As she's gotten older, she's more open to trying new foods and tends to like everthing she tries.

When my kids were younger the one thing I avoided was jars of baby food. I had a little food grinder and when my babies started trying to grab food off my plate, I would mush up what we were eating. They also ate a lot of things like mashed up bananas, potatoes, plain applesauce, etc. I felt like baby food was too bland and had no texture, and would make it harder for them to transition to real food.

However, I was forced to use baby food, and even the dreaded feeder (a bottle with a really big hole in the nipple and a little plunger) with my third child. She was a good nurser, but also a very content baby who would rarely "ask" to nurse. By four months she was way off the bottom of the growth chart and we needed to take some drastic action to put some weight on her. I had to make up a little schedule for nursing and extra food for a while. She's also my only kid that didn't suck a thumb or ever want a pacifier.

I think it's good to have an overall philosophy for food, but also to be flexible, because every baby and person is different. I felt horribly guilty about feeding her jars of baby food, especially in that stupid bottle, but it was what she needed at the time. I had to put aside my own feelings and work with her personality and habits.

[mwherbs]

I guess I should say that yes I did and do prepare meals- but with everyone running to one place or another it is not as much as when everyone was young- in which case I still like to have some foods I prepare and left in the fridge ready to eat-- like salads or something that can just be thrown in a pan and stir fried

[smillerhouse]

Having the kids give their input helps a lot. Yesterday was a first, the teens did the shopping!!!! It helped a lot. I gave the list and they went and got it and picked out some healthy choices. They like loads of variety. Sallie

[ameliabedelia]

Food issues are so hard to deal with and run so deep.

We started out with the free feeding method with dd1. We had both healthy food and some junk in the house. We didn't restrict the junk..and allowed her to choose whatever she wanted to eat. The result....we ended up with a child who was considered obese at the age of 3 1/2. She gained 14 pounds between Feb when she turned 3 and the following Oct.

Thankfully, we figured out what the problem was and put her on a gluten free/caesin free diet.. (for behavior issues), but it also solved the rapid weight gain..and she basically hasn't gained any weight in the last 1 1/2 years...so she is growing into her weight. But, the nature of her problem, is something we would probably have never discovered if weren't looking into alternative treatments and thinking she had autism (she doesn't).

Anyway, I really believe that free feeding can work for some kids..but NOT for others. Honestly...I think some people just genetically LIKE food more, and more INTO food. Really. Even if you look at animals and pets, it is the same way. We have a rabbit now..and I hvae had rabbits in the past. Some rabbits, you can fill their bowl up with pellets, and they will eat it over several days as needed. Other rabbits, will scarf the whole bowl down at once. Some rabbits will turn away from some veggies..others will eat almost anything, any time. It really doesn't have anything to do with the way they are raised..it is just their genetic make-up. I firmly believe it is the same way with people. Some, people LIKE to eat more. Some people's body chemistry's are more affected by food..so they are more likely suffer from sugar addictions or things like that. Some people have more sensitive blood glucose systems, and are more affected by that.

I have always loves to eat...always have. As a child, I used to wish I coudl be a horse or a giraffe so I could just graze all day (I think I was bored a lot too. ). I was raised the same as my brothers and sisters (mostly healthy food, junk food available occasionally, weren't free fed junk, but also weren't super restricted), and I am the ONLY one with food *issues*. Thankfully, I have a good metabolism and am active, so my weight has always been normal....but I defintiely had/have issues.

Edited to add: I am not saying that way one is raised has NO bearing on the way they view food. I defintiely think many people develop food issues, because of the way they are raised. However, I also think some people are BORN with food issues...or at least an increased desire for food.

[mamawanabe]

My theory - eating doesn't feel the same for all people, and there is a genetic component to this (like a genetic predisposition to alcolholism). For some people, bad eating behaviors can be caused (by parents controlling fodd, by children never listening to their body), but for othrs, the physical pleasure of eating is simply very very high. I remember in college, a friend of mine had a drinking probelm. I liked to drink to get a buzz too (felt good), but when she taled about what she felt like when she drank, I realized she got a pleasure from drinking that was far mpre intense than anything I felt.

My parents were laid back about food - fairly healthy eaters but not controlling. There were no "bad" foods etc. They did everything "right." But I definitely don't eat in moderation (if there is cheese or rasons or candy in the house - I will eat it all up. And I think about food A LOT ). My granddad was a sweet tooth/big eater too. I'm sure thsi is where I get it from. (thank god I have a fast metabilism!)

So, while I think there are ways to mess up your kids' relatiosnhip to food, I also think that some of our kids, depending on genetics, may just be headed towards a lack of moderation when it comes to eating no matter what we do. No matter what, I'm going to get my kids active cause if they get my excessive love of eating and my dh's metabolism, it is gonna be scary

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by ameliabedelia

Food issues are so hard to deal with and run so deep.

Anyway, I really believe that free feeding can work for some kids..but NOT for others. Honestly...I think some people just genetically LIKE food more, and more INTO food. Really. Even if you look at animals and pets, it is the same way. We have a rabbit now..and I hvae had rabbits in the past. Some rabbits, you can fill their bowl up with pellets, and they will eat it over several days as needed. Other rabbits, will scarf the whole bowl down at once. Some rabbits will turn away from some veggies..others will eat almost anything, any time. It really doesn't have anything to do with the way they are raised..it is just their genetic make-up. I firmly believe it is the same way with people. Some, people LIKE to eat more. Some people's body chemistry's are more affected by food..so they are more likely suffer from sugar addictions or things like that. Some people have more sensitive blood glucose systems, and are more affected by that.

I have always loves to eat...always have. As a child, I used to wish I coudl be a horse or a giraffe so I could just graze all day (I think I was bored a lot too. ). I was raised the same as my brothers and sisters (mostly healthy food, junk food available occasionally, weren't free fed junk, but also weren't super restricted), and I am the ONLY one with food *issues*. Thankfully, I have a good metabolism and am active, so my weight has always been normal....but I defintiely had/have issues.

Edited to add: I am not saying that way one is raised has NO bearing on the way they view food. I defintiely think many people develop food issues, because of the way they are raised. However, I also think some people are BORN with food issues...or at least an increased desire for food.

absolutely!

When I was 10 or so, I used to try to "wake up" in my dreams (realize you are dreaming while your dreaming) for the sole purpose of dreaming myself an ice cream store and eating ice cream for hours (it never worked). And it isn't liked ice cream was some forbidden food - I used to ride my bike with my friends to shoneys every day for a 49 cent cone.

[BedHead]

This is pretty much how it works at our house. My kids all three make their own dinner when they don't like what I've made. I do have to limit the junkie foods though - if I buy hot dogs, my middle son won't eat anything else. If I buy Mr. Noodles soup, my daughter only eats that for 3 days till it's gone. My daughter is vegetarian too, and I have to eat low salt, so I'm dealing with a range of eating preferences. My kids make good choices more often than they make bad choices, though.

I figure that when they leave home they're going to be eating that way, so they'd might as well get it out of their system while they're at home.

I do insist, though, that they all have a serving of fruit or vegetables at dinner time. They can choose what, if they don't like what I've cooked.

[goddessgold1]

I dont free feed per say, they cannot go into my kitchen whenever they get the notion and help themselves to everything. BUT, I keep 2 large bowls on the table filled with all kinds of fruits, and all my children are allowed and encouraged to help themselves to it whenever they get the notion. It has become habit in my home, we do not have snack times, when my kids are nibbly, they grab a piece of fruit.