My Worst Nightmare Has Happened

[MysteryMama]

Dh's credit card has reached it's limit. I don't know what we are going to do. Our bills are more than his income and we relied heavily on the credit card for gas and groceries. He already works two jobs so there isn't any way he can possibly work more. We are not legally married so I tried to get assistance (food stamps) but they laughed at me. Apparantly we are considered an "intact family" since we have a child and live together, and his income is way over the limit. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... he is in the process of selling his house that his ex currently resides in, so we won't have that $1000/month mortgage payment in addition to all our bills. But we are just now putting it on the market. WTF are we going to do for gas and groceries till then? Sigh.

[*andiflipping*]

Try church food banks...

Not sure on the gas though..

Hugs to you Mama

[nichole]

i used to live in de...what city are you in? maybe you guys can bum rides or find change in the cushions for gas?

[MysteryMama]

Originally Posted by nichole

i used to live in de...what city are you in? maybe you guys can bum rides or find change in the cushions for gas?

we're in middletown. i don't think couch change is gonna cut it... dh works 20 min away and drives a v8. none of his co-workers live in middletown, so bumming rides is out.

i guess we are just going to have to put gas in the truck with money we would normally use for bills and pay bills late. i don't know.

[Attila the Honey]

Originally Posted by jeannie81

we're in middletown. i don't think couch change is gonna cut it... dh works 20 min away and drives a v8. none of his co-workers live in middletown, so bumming rides is out.

i guess we are just going to have to put gas in the truck with money we would normally use for bills and pay bills late. i don't know.

I would say feeding your family and doing what you have to do so he can keep his job would come first, along with rent and utilities.

Everything else, like credit card bills, gets paid if you have the money. At this point the name of the game is survival, not worrying about your credit report.

Also, you can call utilities and tell them you are having trouble and work out some sort of payment plan.

What else can you trim out of the budget? It sounds like it's time to get very severe (if you haven't already).

Good luck.

[cdmaze]

Sending you my prayers, mama! Heres hoping that house sells fast.

Ask for help! I agree with the church food bank suggestions...

There are so many families who make too much money for assistance- yet cant make there bills. The system kinda sucks.

When we got low, we were able to put off utility payments and other stuff. It's seems like if you just contact them, they can help.

[sanguine_speed]

Not sure about the situation of the ex, but could he possibly pay less toward that mortgage? Do they have any equity in the house? Maybe they can borrow against it to get you through this time? Even a line of credit?

Are you earning an income? If you are home with kids, is there anything you can do to increase your family income from home?

[mamaofthree]

I am not sure if this goes on everywhere ,but we have our utlities on a yearly thing so we pay the same every month, that has been a big help (of course if your late they give you the boot from the program).
I say let the cc slide for now, or call them and tell them you can only pay such and such a month for so long.
Not that you want to, but could you take in a couple kids and maybe babysit? That could bring in a bit of cash... but I have never done it as I am at my limit with my own kids . LOL

Hugs mama!

H

[*green*faery*]

Hi! I don't know if this will help...
We are in a tight, but temporary situation similar to yours. We have been charging some food and gas every month, but have to stop. You may already be living super thrifty, but we were not. I cut my grocery bill in half this month by home cooking just about every thing. I've also been baby-sitting (with ds) for money and have been making enough to cover our food expences, which has helped a lot! I am on-call for a few families and baby-sit one full day a week regularly. I found families in my local mom's group and on craigs list. I mean, it would be so much easier if I didn't have to babysit and cook (and clean) everything, but it has made our situation basically do-able, so it's great! Anyway, just thought I'd share our experience! Good luck mama!

[daekini]

Definitely call the CC company 1st and tell them what is going on. They will likely be willing to settle for less each month or defer rather than get nothing; and also as the pp stated, call your utility companies and let them know the problem as well. Even if you pay nothing, they'll have noted in your accounts that you're conscientious enough to call and aren't just bailing on your debt/utilities.

Good luck mama, it's a tough place to be but I'm sure things will look up once your dp's home sells!

[dharmamama]

Have you dumped all the unnecessaries, such as cable/satellite tv, extras on your phone, cell phones, internet access, etc?

Can your husband drive something other than a V8 to work (your car, maybe)? Or get a bus pass? My husband works about 25 minutes away, and the months he rides the bus, our transportation costs go WAY down. Have you checked into a RideShare program?

Do you have anything you can sell on E-bay or Craig's List?

Do you have anything you can pawn?

How about credit counseling? They should be able to help you lower your bills.

Do you have friends or family you can ask for assistance from?

Can your dh do odd jobs on the weekend for extra cash? Can he work overtime at his job?

Can you get a job? I know around here there are telemarketing jobs that are ALWAYS hiring. It's crummy work but it is money. We also have a couple of catalog places that are always looking for people to man their phones. You could get a shift when your dh is home.

I would absolutely check out your local food pantries.

Namaste!

[SleeplessMommy]

Has he called the mortgage company to try to negotiate a temporary lower payment?

He can also encourage a faster sale by increasing the realtor commission for a sale that closes before a certain date. (ie 7% vs. 6%)

If his ex has a job and good credit, is she interested in buying the house? Possibly he could help by providing 10% seller financing to her (ask real estate agent to explain) and sell the house to her quickly. If he currently pays alimony, this could be a good option since the house payments could come out of that.

In the long term, can you trade for a smaller, but reliable vehicle?

[JesseMomme]

When we hit a similar crisis, food banks helped to at least feed the kids when we didn't have 50 cents to spare for anything. Your local churches, salvation army, shelters either have a food bank or can give you the number to one. (I found that food banks around here. are usually only open for short periods of time early in the day, so call to see when they are open) Find as many as you can, because many FBs only let you pick up a "basket" once every thirty days.

Also getting back on WIC helped us a great deal. It's a lot of cereal, milk and tuna but at least it's something. Oh and juice. Oh the juice Income limits for WIC are pretty high, so it's worth looking into if you don't already have it.

[Sharlla]

We moved in with family until you got back on our feet then move somewhere with a lower cost of living. Before that we saved by walking (dropped car insurance) not having cable or internet) and by having a roommate live with us. If money was so tight that feeding ourselves was an issue ALL extras would go.

[p.s]

can you take on income generating income: cleaning houses, childcare?
Does the v8 truck have car payments? Is it used just for commuting or to haul really heavy stuff around? If just for commuting, have you considered selling it and buying a used gas efficient car?

[rainy32]

I just want to give you a hug. Strength and courage and peace to you, mama.

[MysteryMama]

Thanks everyone for the ideas and support. We are going to find out about food banks in our area. We don't have any payments to make on his truck, thank God. I don't have a car, so he can't drive mine. His ex is not going to let us pay less of the mortgage. They have a legal agreement that he's supposed to pay it until he sells the house, and he is selling the house 2 years earlier than what is in their agreement. Already we have to give her 60,000 from the sale of the house for her to agree to let us sell now. She's only supposed to get half that. As for babysitting, I don't know anyone with kids. I don't have a vehicle or childcare so I can't work. Dh's main job doesn't allow any overtime and he works all his spare time at his second job already. Our internet is free with cable, but dh would probably blow his brains out before he would willingly have the cable cut off. It will probably get cut off soon though when we can't pay the bill. We don't have a house phone, so I hate to get our cells cut off, and besides that we are under contract. We're late paying the bill though so it's cut off right now. I don't have anything to pawn except for my engagement ring, and I just can't bear to part with it. It's the only nice thing I own. Besides, if we pawn it, we won't have the money to get it back out and I'd hate to lose it, it's a nice ring. Already we are living pretty frugally. We NEVER go out to eat or buy unnessecary things. We have only been spending 20 to 30 a week on groceries. I keep the heat turned down to 65 and try to keep lights off whenever possible. We can't just move out and stay with friends because #1) we have a lease agreement 2) we don't have any friends. I am going to talk to dh and have him call the cc company and try to get the payment lowered or his credit extended. It's hard cause really there just doesn't seem like a whole lot we can do except have faith that things will get better. Again thanks everyone for the suggestions and support. Keep it coming!

[becoming]

I'm sorry you're in this situation.

You might try this website:

http://www.angelfoodministries.com

Not sure if they're in your area, but you can get a LOT of food from them for $25.

[MysteryMama]

Originally Posted by becoming

I'm sorry you're in this situation.

You might try this website:

http://www.angelfoodministries.com

Not sure if they're in your area, but you can get a LOT of food from them for $25.

thanks so much for this link! there is one not to far from where dh travels.

[tangomoon]

Definitely check out the Angel Food.......you'll want to contact soon, since orders are due 2 weeks before food delivery. It is a lot of food for $25.