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UC buddies thread? - Page 3

post #41 of 113

OtherMother'n'Madre's Avatar

At the risk of sounding, uh, insensitive?, I have to say 15 weeks doesn't seem like a big deal and you shouldn't worry about bonding. I don't think you can be a mama and not bond with your babe eventually. It will come when it comes. Plus, I was like 20 weeks give or take before I admitted it to myself. Totally didn't want this kid, and neither did DH. But boy have we turned around! :-)
post #42 of 113
Weird experience yesterday - dh said hi to the neighbor guy and he asked if I am pregnant (we just figured it out ourselves - I didn't get a postive preg test until I was a week late - haven't told any real life people). He said he gets feelings about these things, and felt that we were pregnant with a boy! Weird huh? I figured it was a boy myself, because I have been expecting Ephraim (which is Hebrew for "dual fruit") and this one is coming so close to my other boy. Be interesting to see if all these feelings pan out!
post #43 of 113
Originally Posted by mrskennedy View Post
At the risk of sounding, uh, insensitive?, I have to say 15 weeks doesn't seem like a big deal and you shouldn't worry about bonding. I don't think you can be a mama and not bond with your babe eventually. It will come when it comes. Plus, I was like 20 weeks give or take before I admitted it to myself. Totally didn't want this kid, and neither did DH. But boy have we turned around! :-)

Not insensitive at all! The reason I mention it is because I get depression hard core in the first trimester. Bad enough that the majority of the time is spent thinking of alternate ways/outcomes to the situation. Then the guilt kicks in and the second tri is spent feeling like a horrible person for thinking the things I did. Third tri is ok. Top it off this was a very UNPLANNED baby. So at the rate I'm going, 15 weeks is a big deal.

I've been meaning to post asking mama's who are on their second or more pregnancy....how do you get that special connection/feelings toward your pregnancy that you have with the first one? Most days I forget I'm pregnant. I want to be excited but honestly it's as exciting as going grocery shopping.
post #44 of 113
Thread Starter 
hmm.. when you put it this way (Most days I forget I'm pregnant) apparently I don't have good news for you.

life is busier with kids. I don't always remember I'm pregnant! I'm not sure how or when, but I definitely connected with my youngest before he was born and I'm sure I will with this one too (even though after so many losses I'm feeling a lot more guarded-it's hard to be burned time and again).
post #45 of 113
Hmm, I don't know - I've been feeling guilty for the opposite reason. I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old; I "should" be sober about this, but I'm giddy to have another. I love being pregnant! But as for "connecting" - I have some kind of connection, but it's never been some magical thing for me with any of my kids. I knew they were coming before I conceived them, and I love them. But it's not like I walk through the day thinking about my baby or anything. If anything, it makes me cling to the kids I have more.
post #46 of 113
I've been so busy that I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 20 weeks.It was quite a shock since I had given most of my baby things away and was going to tell DH I was ready to stick with 3 DC and move on the week that I found out.It gets quite hard for me to forget because now that I know about this baby I get kicks and punches and hiccups all the time to remind me.I too am super giddy to have another one.I will finally be able to have the birth I wanted and I get to continue our trend of babies in every state. I love looking at the way my children bond with each other and am glad that there is one more to beam over.
post #47 of 113
Another from the March DDC checking in.

I'm "due" in two weeks, and I've always felt I'd go a little over. Now that I see the new moon is on March 19 I think that will be my day, lol.

I've UP this pregnancy and I'm excited (and a little nervous too) to be UCing. I know this is what I want but as the time is coming near I'm getting a little anxious.

I really want to video this birth, but as it looks I'll be going it alone so that's probably not an option.
post #48 of 113
I'm planning on setting up the video camera w/my remote. If I remember I'll push record. Even if it ends up w/poor or no visual of the birth, the audio will be good!
post #49 of 113
It would be so great to just sit down with some of you who have previously had uc's and just talk to you about them! I become more and more comfortable with each post I read of previous experiences, but know how much more powerful it would be to hear from you all in person.

I've just been in shock lately that in our little progressive town, that I don't know anyone who has had a planned unassisted birth!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to be the way paver, honestly, as people assume you are choosing to birth this way for the attention or something...
post #50 of 113
I'm here. I'm due in early May - I'm 31 weeks as of today. I went to one prenatal appointment around 15 weeks, heard the heartbeat, and haven't been back since. My husband isn't comfortable with a UC so we're still trying to figure out what to do. We're across the street, literally, from the hospital, so I really don't know what his problem is! (Just kidding - I do respect his fears/worries, etc, but still...) I've talked a bit with a midwife who is around 2 hours away, but I'm unwilling to go to her for prenatals and she's unwilling to come to the birth and stay in another room unless I ask for her, so we're kind of at a standstill. Another option would be to wait until very very late to go to the hospital and then my husband would be in charge of keeping everyone away from me, and we'd take our daughter and just have her stay with us no matter what they say. My ideal would be to wait about 2 days after the birth and then go see the doctor!

This is my second pregnancy and it's getting harder and harder to forget I'm pregnant with all the movement going on. I am not very touchy/feely in general, I'm less bonded/excited about this baby than I was with my first. We got pregnant on our first month of trying, and I just wasn't QUITE ready! I had wanted to wait until my daughter weaned herself, but my husband didn't want our kids to be farther apart, so I agreed to start trying, figuring I'd have at least a few more months. She'll be 3.5 when this one is born, and I agree that's pretty old, but nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing wasn't in my plan, and I am unwilling to wean her - during my pregnancy we've gone from nursing 2-3 times a day to once a day very rarely twice and that's as far as I'm willing to push it (I hardly pushed at all, but I did refuse nursings, which I was also occasionally doing before I was pregnant - I really didn't want my pregnancy to affect her nursing at all). I want it her to be ready to stop. (Hmmm, I hadn't thought about these compromises I've made for my husband - I'll have to bring this up next time we discuss UCing!!!)

I know as soon as I meet this baby I'll be totally in love, and already I'm a lot more excited than I was even a month ago, so that's good. I don't have any anxiety about the birth itself, I feel prepared for anything/everything, and am not worried or too proud to go to the hospital if I want/need to. I just want to stay at home and if everything goes as well as it did with my first birth, then that'll be SO easy to do! I do have worries about adding a second child to the family and what that will do to our situation, but hey, it's happening! My mom is coming to stay for three weeks at the beginning of June, so that will be nice for my daughter to have her here as a distraction from boring-baby-and-mom-doing-nothing-but-sitting-around-nursing. I know my husband and I will put the kids first, but what will that do to our businesses?! We both work at home! LOL It will definitely be interesting.

Well, I'll shut up now! Geez! Talk about chatty!
post #51 of 113
It's somehow comforting to know not all you mamas planned to conceive, and some others have surprises, too! I've heard it all, from "You didn't finish school!" as if you need a degree to parent, to "You make ___ and can't raise a child on that!" but it's amazing what you can do when you have to, to "How could you have missed your period!" when I always had trouble with that, etc. It gets really old, really fast. But anyway, even though it was a surprise, we adjusted to it, got baby things (except that my EDD is tomorrow and I only ordered birth supplies today LOL!), and we're looking forward to meeting this tiny one who thinks it's fun to pummel and kick and roll around at night--or that's what it feels like.. :-)
post #52 of 113
Thread Starter 
more! this is great! I love hearing all the different experiences. Don't know about everyone else, but this definitely helps me.
post #53 of 113
Originally Posted by emiLy View Post
We got pregnant on our first month of trying, and I just wasn't QUITE ready!
I really believe the more children you have the easier it is to conceive - it's a nasty little secret of nature. Push two kids through that cervix, then forget about it putting up much of a barrier for the spermies. We literally got pregnant from having sex 1 time. First time we tried for 3 months. Second time I was nursing and my cycles didn't regulate for 9 months, and didn't get pregnant all that time. This time - sex 1 time. Grandma had 16 kids all 1-2 years apart - I'm starting to see how it happened!!
post #54 of 113
Thread Starter 
I can see that theory. For us, there is NO problem concieving. Keeping is a problem, but NOT concieving. We (present hubby and I) have had 19 pregnancies (17 losses) in just under 6 years of marriage. Given the amount of time pregnant (and not able to concieve then) it works out to 4 a year or so.

Previous to my twins, I didn't have any verified pregnancies. (I suspect I may have had a few losses, but nothing like this!)
post #55 of 113
I got pregnant quickly the first time too. We decided to start trying in November, went and had sex in our car a few minutes after we decided - that was fun. But then we realized we wouldn't be covered for pregnancy under our current insurance, so we didn't do anything else in November. We switched the insurance and it kicked in December 15th, so we tried in December but we were traveling so I wasn't surprised we didn't succeed. Then I did get pregnant in January.

What I'm most impressed with is the fact that I DIDN'T get pregnant during the 19 very regular cycles I had, or even during the 14 months I hadn't yet gotten my period back, after my daughter! I was casually paying attention to cervical fluid (just when wiping after peeing) and using condoms when I thought I was fertile, but that's the extent of our avoidance. So, really, I'm pretty amazed by that more than the ease of getting pregnant!
post #56 of 113
Hi I am jumping on board here. I am 12 weeks today and really excited to be pregnant although it is earlier than I anticipated. I got pg with my daughter without trying and then took four years each to conceive and keep my two sons. I figured as much as I am nursing my toddler and how long it took before to get pregnant that I would have plenty of time. Well two months later I got pg. I am absolutely thrilled but am not enjoying nursing while pregnant and am feeling a bit overwhelmed by nursing two. I don't really see Eavan giving up and I won't actively wean him. I am due in September and am planning a UC and mostly UP although I am getting a back up midwife and plan to have one or two prenatals. I loved my last birth and have no hesitation to UC again. All my births have really been great and I would love to keep that going. This will be my last baby so I just want to enjoy it all. It is hard to enjoy morning sickness so I sure hope that fades very soon. I am really glad I found this thread.
post #57 of 113
Thread Starter 
anybody want to call it anything other than it is?
post #58 of 113

Ease of concieving

when DH and I were dating we didn't use any protection and I never got pregnant in 5 years!We got married and I went on the pill and nine months later I concieved my oldest during a month that I was taking the pill correctly.He was meant to be here at that time.I let the DR give me one jab of Depo and then realized my mistake and that I wanted to TTC.it took us 7 months but we did it and I had my second baby.My third baby was concieved because we were both drunk and looking at how cute our 2nd DS was and agreed that it wouldn't be bad to have another critter.The next month I was pregnant with my DD.This newest baby came probably becuase of my wishing that I could have just one more for the new state we were moving to. Kinda round out our family.
I have found that I actually need to be very overweight in order to concieve, not very popular with the Drs but oh well its what works for MY body.
post #59 of 113
I belong here too! I am 36 weeks today and am planning my UC. DD was born via emergency induction at 41.3 weks, but for some reason I think (and hope) will go earlier this time. During March woudl be great for DH, but early April woudl be best for me (as far as work schedules). anyway, we ardered the last birth supplies a few days ago, so I think I am ready!
post #60 of 113
I got off the pill in December of 2005 and we started actively (and neurotically) ttc in January. I charted, temped and checked fluids every day and during ovulation we had sex 5 or 6 times. Nothing happened. Eventually in July I was so sick of the let down that I quit charting and basically quit trying. Little did I know, earlier that month the little spermsters broke in and finally did their job. I hope the next time will be a little less irritating! I've been ready to be a mom for years now.

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