secondary infertility blues

[kristenok18]

Ever get these? Most days I can cope fairly well, and then BAM. Someone announces they're expecting and I can't function. It makes me want to hide inside my house and just mope and/or cry, which doesn't exactly mesh with my 4.5yo's needs. Dh found out today that his co-worker's wife is expecting, and the gloom has already descended. I start working in the childwatch area of the gym tomorrow, and I don't know how to face all the babies and pg mamas. Everywhere I take ds I come face to face with this, and most days I'm fine with it. But not while I'm digesting someone else's good news. :

[Dena]

I am so sorry, sweetie. I know I have had many days like that - we have cancelled zoo trips or other things that would have put me face to face with pg women on days I just couldn't handle it.

This might sound weird, but something that was helpful was for us to go up to Seattle - most bigger cities have a higher concentration of single child families, and just seeing more older parents and those with only one child was comforting in its way to me, even if I didn't necessarily know why they stopped at one.

Take care and be gentle with yourself. I hope you are doing better soon.

[shabana]

me too gng through the same

my daughter is nine this month i no sign of second..my husband suffered a bad infections in his testicles last month my hope of scond is all gone in water....i too feel very bad whn i see preggies no choice but to pray to almight: y

[Zach'smom]

I came home and cried after dropping my son off at preschool the other day. Two Moms announced that they are due at the beginning of October. All they want to talk about is babies. I want to throw myself off a cliff!

[kkeake]

Just wanted to share that I'm in the same boat. We've been trying for our second pregnancy (third child) for almost a year. It doesn't help that it seems like everyone I know, including all the women in my family, just accidentally get pregnant. Like whoops, I fell onto my husband, and look, here's the baby! Or five of them, like one of my sisters-in-law. Or, whoops, I guess I forgot my pill and got pregnant. Three times, like one of my other sisters-in-law. I love my nieces and nephews, I'm happy when each one of them is born, but sometimes I want to strangle their parents for being so insensitive. Why is it that my sister-in-law can have THREE unwanted pregnancies while supposedly on birth control and I can't manage to get knocked up after a year of perfectly timed sex?

I feel your pain.

Amanda

[Pookietooth]

mama. I totally Understand.

[skillet04]

I am so relieved to know I am not the only secondary infertility mom who has a hard time hearing "good" news from others. I have a friend I met in July 2003 who had 3 children then and has since had 3 more. She said last year in May when she found out she was pg with #6 - "isn't it funny I am trying to stop having babies and you really want another one...and I wish I could trade you bodies so I could have a break"...I also have a cousin-in-law who has had 3 babies in the last 4.5 years and a cousin who has had 3 babies in the last 4.55 years that I have been ttc#2. I met a lady online last year who just had her 3rd and was hoping to conceive later in the year..she did but m/c in December but on 2-27-07 posted her bfp on her weblog...I know I should be happy but that's her 4th....where is my 2nd? ya know.
I also am not an aunt yet but wonder how I will take the news when all my sister/sisters-in-law start announcing and since they have regular cylces, they probably will conceive easily and whenever they want....hope they understand if I don't want to ooh and ahh all over the place.

Sylvia
wife to Joey 5-20-00
mom to Noah 7-31-2001 (born at 36 weeks)
TTC#2 since June 2002
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://t2.lilypie.com/F7L3m6.png" alt="Lilypie 15 - 80 day cycle Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80" /></a>

[mommy2hamish]

Yes.... this is how I feel as well. DS is now 2.5 and I'm trying to figure out if I keep his baby clothes/cloth dipes etc... for a possible second dc or give up and expect ds to be an only child....

Sometimes I don't even want to bd b/c I figure I'm not ovulating anyways what's the point. I find myself avoiding internet boards (mommy ones) b/c everyone always seems to get pg like the first cycle they try or they can actually predict the two week wait... I don't even get af lately. grrrr...

everyone !

[LeBoof]

Yeah, I've been pretty down about this myself lately. This month marks the one year "anniversary" of us trying for #2 without any luck. :P I'm waiting for my younger sister to tell me she's preg. sometime in the next couple of years. I know several people younger than me with several more kids. I only want one more The older I get though the less I'm expecting it. I do have regular periods and all that, but I've also had a bout with cervical cancer and a uterine infection since my first. *sigh*

I do so enjoy being a mom. Hehe...Just wish I could do it again...

[harmoni]

I feel exactly how you feel. When i here that someone else is pregnant with their second or more I want to crawl in a hole. If I start crying my son asks me why I am crying. There was one time that I told him why and he told me eh was gonna beat up the pregnant person so I could feel better. That was wrong but it was cute. Just know you arent alone.

[pampered_mom]

I know exactly what you mean!

[Isis]

Hi! I know how you feel. No one understands unless they've gone through it. I had infertility issues with my son and now again when I'm TTC #2. It's gut wrenching. I avoid all pregnant women right now... I can't stomach it. Hang in there!!!!! (((hug)))

[Jay'smom]

My best friend and my SIL are both pregnant now. I love my son, and am so thankful that I have a healthy, happy child, but I can't help but be sad that he'll be our only one.

Then I have to basically argue with people who think we should have another one. When I tell them it's not going to happen, they all seem to know someone who popped out 15 kids after infertility. Ummm.. good for them, but it's not going to happen for us. I end up telling them WAY more than they ever wanted to know about DH and my reproductive systems. "But you just never know". YES, I do know. Grrrrrr. Plus, DS is only 13 months old. Apparently I'm not reproducing on their timeline. Except then I have to hear about how I'm not getting any younger.

Somedays it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

[Grettal]

I'm with yah..

DS is almost 2.5 and this month makes a year of trying for #2. I'm nearly resigned to the idea that it just won't happen. I can't sleep.. Can barely haul myself to work.. Can't afford to go back to the RE.. No insurance coverage and I'm gonna be 40 this year.. Time is running out and I'm tired of hoping..

[hayleyjakobsmummy]

why do people get secondary infertility
i have one child and am very scared of this

[kristenok18]

There are too many reasons to name. Some people are able to find an explanation, others never do. And it can affect either or both partners.

[Quindin]

A big hug to you mama! I have a few friends who are TTC to conceive #2 and they feel the same way. It is very difficult.