Am I being to sensitive? Re: conv w/ friend. - Page 2

[Arwyn]

Let's all try to remember that this mama is going through a lot of stress with her potentially abnormal ultrasound results, and keep some compassion for her, OK?

LandonsMom - I don't think you're being too sensitive at all. It seems like a good time to practice placing boundaries with her about what kinds of remarks are acceptable and what aren't. It sounds like you're doing a really good job trying to support your friend through what must be a very difficult time for her.

[LandonsMom]

Thanks to everyone who was worried about her baby!

She had the second U/S today, everything is fine, no problems at all.

Maybe now she'll stop projecting what could have (but didnt) happen to her onto me!!!

[Lady Lilya]

Glad to hear it.

Either way, you should probably be prepared to continue with this topic. She is probably still traumatized by the 2 agonizing days of thinking something was wrong. That had to be scary.

[edamommy]

sounds like she was just trying to HELP you!

If I had not had a us my baby would have died. maybe me too.

[RachelGS]

I think she's scared and operating out of that fear. Doing that isn't malicious. It's human. She has a legitimate reason for her fear. It doesn't mean you are subject to the same reasons, but it's her experience and it's a real experience. You can choose not to share her fear, but I don't think it's pathological for her to have it. Imagine how scared we'd all be to learn that something might really be wrong with our babies. It's asking a lot-- too much, I think-- to expect her to filter that out on your behalf when she's in the middle of a possible crisis. You can let it roll off even if she can't.

ETA: Posted before seeing her update. I'm glad her babe is okay!

[Oh the Irony]

i do applaud her for her honesty and having the courage to say something.
(even though i don't agree with her!) much better than her stewing over it or talking about it with other people. and she acknowledged that is didn't come out as she intended. and she's pregnant.

you may want to approach her about a topic one day as well. something like circ comes to mind...

keep communicating honestly with her. if she starts making you uncomfortable about your choices all the time, or the friendship fades because of differing styles the evaluate what you want.

[LandonsMom]

Originally Posted by edamommy

sounds like she was just trying to HELP you!

If I had not had a us my baby would have died. maybe me too.

I absolutly agree she was trying to help me.

I guess it would have set better wiht me had she said something like "Maybe you should consider an U/S just to rule out something like this as a possibility" rather than (and I quote) " I would hate for you to have your birth go well at home and then to be ruined by something like this,...."I just would hate for you to think its going to be this perfect moment and have something like that happen, I can imagine something like that would get pretty ingrained in your memory."
But like RachelGS mentioned, that might be to much for me to expect her to filter when shes so upset.

Originally Posted by Oh the Irony

you may want to approach her about a topic one day as well. something like circ comes to mind....

I actually have before when her dh was concerned about the vax reactions their dd kept having. I couldnt say how I came across in that situation, hopefully respectfully. We dont agree on this topic either and at the time I told her i understood if she choose a different path.

I dont think this will ruin our friendship by any means, I guess I just needed to vent to some like-minded mamas.