Intro & IUI question

[tenecwalker]

Hi, I'm Jamie, 23 wife to Brad and mom to Ryan just turned 2. We are on our 15 month of officially ttc, although we haven't prevented since Ryan was born. We don't have a reason for our infertility. I had a m/c in November 06 at 11 weeks. Last month we did clomid/hcg trigger shot with a bfn. This month we are going to do clomid/hcg/IUI. This is a rather personal question, but I don't have anyone or anywhere else to ask. DH doesn't masturbate. He never has. I'm worried that when it comes time to "perform" for the IUI he won't be successful. I'm sure the pressure won't help anything. Any sort of suggestions? Is this usually done in office or at home or?

thanks in advance

[UberMama]

Where you can do it depends on what your OB/RE's office says. If you're close enough to the office, you can usually do it at home and then take in the sample immediately.

If you do it at home, I'd just help him out. Of course you cannot give him oral, but you can help him along otherwise.

[mom2olivia]

This is a question I have had as well and again sorry for being so "intimate".

Can you have intercourse and then pull out/put in the cup? Or is this strictly a "hands-on" procedure?

[tenecwalker]

I have no idea either. That's a good question. I'm afraid even with me "helping out" it won't work.

[quantumleap]

Hi,
As I understand it, intercourse with the pull out and into a cup is also a no-no. Sorry. Has he tried practicing? Maybe he'd be more comfortable on his own? I know my dh has issues with the cup itself - it is small and apparently it takes a fair bit of concentration to get things properly aimed at the right moment, which my dh finds leads to decreased production. TMI. And he would shoot me if he knew I was sharing this. However, have you spoken to the doctor and/or clinic about this? Maybe they can arrange a wider mouth to the container? I'm sure your dh isn't the first person to have these issues, so they must have some sort of helpful advice!
Katia

[UberMama]

There are condoms specifically made for SA's. You can have sex with the condom on, ejaculate into it, then you take it off carefully. Some RE's have you save the filled condom and bring it in, others have you deposit the ejaculate from the condom into a container.

The condoms run around $10 a piece. They are special of course since they have no spermicide and such.

[mom2olivia]

Why don't they tell us this stuff????????? How in the world are we supposed to "know"????? Oh how frustrating. I think my little ray of hope has diminished I guess we'll know for sure next week.

[tenecwalker]

Thanks for all the info. I had heard of the special condoms, but I believe I read, you typically don't get as good as results from those. DH would die if he knew I was discussing this too.

[blueridgewoman]

Yeah, they say no lubricant at all, no oral, and no other bodily fluids....

[tenecwalker]

no lubricant either! Oh my this could be difficult...

[ericaz]

That's crazy! I have never heard no oral. What can that possibly do to the sperm?
This is another one of those debatable issues (I'm guessing) just like whether it's good to have sex prior to IUI or if it's better to refrain. I've heard both from two different REs - one said refrain the other said the more frequent the ejaculation the stronger the sperm gets (only in the case of normal counts/motility).

[coome]

just thought i'd pop in and give my .02...as my dh doesn't "self-indulge" either, so he wasn't crazy about the 2 SA's or the IUI we did in january...but he did it anyway. our directions were hands only, and we were given the choice between him doing it at home or at the office, so i could "help him out." i agree that the stress of the office and getting it into the cup has to make the production less than ideal...but better than no chance at all i guess. it was so stressful to us we decided to quit on our 2nd iui try. may try again later...good luck to the rest of you!

[papschmitty]

There's a no oral rule because there are enzymes in saliva that can be damaging to sperm. Same with lube. If you absolutely MUST have lube for success, try using Preseed, it's supposed to be much more sperm friendly than other lubes. My DH has major performance anxiety, even minor thoughts or other interruptions can completely ruin the moment. I thought for sure he wouldn't be able to give a sample but he was able to do it no problem. And that was in the RE's office! He said it was really weird at first but they had videos and magazines in the room to help move things along. The RE told us that I could go in there with him as long as I only used hands to help but DH said that was way too weird and creepy so he opted to go solo. Good luck!

[tenecwalker]

Thanks for all the insight. DH hasn't decided if he wants to do it alone or with help. I hope he picks alone. lol

[clomidaddict]

We just had our first IUI this past weekend and I wasn't sure what to expect, but when we got there they put us in a room together and said, do whatever it takes and handed us the cup. I'd call first and ask what to expect. I totally did not expect this. DH's sperm count and motility were great (his morphology is the bad part for us) and I'm sure there were some added bodily liquids.

PS- when he went for his semen analysis he was alone and they had 'safe' lube for him to use. It wasn't Preseed. I don't know what they used.

[FtMPapa]

I don't see why you couldn't provide oral assistance as long as you kept your saliva away from the the head of the penis/opening/semen, etc.

I have heard that partner assistance leads to a higher quantity of ejaculate and more sperm, but that may be an individual thing.

Good luck!

[FraggleRock]

getting ready for iui #4 this week. frankly i always prefer to collect at home. there is a room at the clinic, but that is the only thing it is used for and i don't want to be seen coming in and out. i must admit that it is tricky hitting the tiny sample cup they give you, especially since the first bit is the crucial bit. for this reason it is easier if I do it by myself, love the wife but she can be distracting... funny, but part of what makes it such a clinical process. good luck with it all. all fingers crossed for and me!