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post #121 of 575
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.
post #122 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
Add me to the messy house list! Mine's both cluttered and dirty. All the time. I usually manage to get the bare minimum done each day--family room picked up, dishes done, floor swept, etc. But that's about it, and of course even those minimum jobs are the ones that have to be redone 50 times a day for it to even look like I did anything. The vacuuming gets done about once every 1.5 to 2 weeks. My kitchen floor gets mopped about every 3 months. My bathrooms get cleaned about every 6 months. I do get the laundry done, but rarely is it ever folded and put away. I have layers of dust on my blinds and on every piece of furniture that requires dusting. My carpets haven't been cleaned in the 3 years we've lived here. We usually have to push a pile of stuff to the side in order to eat dinner at the table. There are always dishes in the sink, because even if I get the dishwasher loaded, the are leftover dishes, and I don't do dishes by hand.

Yes, it's embarrassing. I try to have it at least look fairly presentable for the piano students (moms) that come 3 days a week, but it seems that invariably they always find a reason to have to look at the rest of the house that is a disaster. I feel torn. I know that taking care of my children, especially nursing my baby, is top priority. But I also know that having such a messy house drags me down. I think I've bordered on a little bit of depression since dd came home, and I can't tell if the depression causes the lack of energy to clean, or if the messy house causes the depression. Probably a little of both. I do know that I am totally exhausted all the time from being up so much at night with my baby and then having kids who are really early risers, and I just don't have the energy to get much done.

Word for word, this is my post. I have a clean laundry mountian. Every few months I get motivated and fold ti and put them away. And I swear I will keep it up, but I never do. the table, the dishes, the floors, everything is just like at my house. My mom gripes at me all the time. I quit caring what she says. It is horribly embarrassing to have people come over. Dh does get frustrated sometimes. I tell him the house is too messy for me to clean. I look around and it's such a mess I don't know where to start. So I get more depressed just looking at it. So I sit down and do nothing, the house gets messier, I get more depressed and it goes on and on.
post #123 of 575
oh no Stacy, I am so sorry. If there's anything I can do, let me know. I will bring you brownies. I'm so sorry for this. I hope you can find a good ob and have a better experience.
post #124 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.

Stacy, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you.
post #125 of 575

Stacy, I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers too. I was hoping this time would all work out for you.

Sarah
post #126 of 575
I also have a messy house. 2 bedroom apartment, and too many *things*. I just have too much stuff. Our bookcases are monsters - they hold books, art supplies, shoes, pictures, flashlights, bubbles, trinkets and more. Our 2 computer desks are mountains of papers and magazines. I have a trash can that sits on top of my desk, so DS won't dump it out. There's also fingernail clippers, TV/stereo remotes, lotions, socks, video game boxes, recipe books...it's a mess. The TV has about 20 CD jewel cases stacked precariously on top. The coat rack is holding ALL of our coats, jackets, carriers, and scarves. Even though we use less than half of them regularly. The front room/dining room L-shaped living space is nearly constantly covered in toys, clothes, and other miscellaneous things (snack wrappers, pen caps, discarded bibs, and so on). We generally do one good pick-up and vacuum per week. It's about all I can handle. I just hate doing a good clean, only to have it messed up again in a matter of hours. The kitchen is a constant headache. It's too small and dim for me to want to spend any length of time in there. I always say I'm going to keep up on the dishes, and I rarely do. This past week, we've run the dishwasher nearly daily, but only because DH has been so dilligent on emptying it while I'm cooking dinner, which is difficult enough just for lack of space with 2 people in there. I only sweep and mop when I can tell I'm stepping on stuff. I do have the baby gate up so it's only myself and DH who can get in, at least. I hate to admit that we had cockroaches in our apartment a year and a half ago. It really pushed me into a bit of depression. I HATED waking up to a kitchen crawling with roaches. It disgusted me. I would spend 10 mintues or so just killing as many as I could find. Finally had some termination people come over, and it really did help. I think the roaches were a neighbor's fault, rather than my own, because my cleaning habits have not changed since then, but we stopped seeing any more once the neighboring apartment was vacant for a couple months. We've been pest-free for such a nice while now. Too bad a mouse has started lurking around over the past week We hear it between the oven and stove-top, where the gas burners are, and I heard it chewing *something* in the pantry a few days ago. The pantry is one of the few storage places in my house...in addition to food, it holds boxes of dishes we don't have in the cupboards, and stuff like that.

Our bedroom is embarassing. We have our matresses on the floor, the bed is NEVER made, and DH doesn't put laundry in baskets, he discards them on the floor next to the bed (he lovingly refers to it as a "guard pile", the goof). I started taking after his habits, so our room is generally covered in laundry, to the point where you don't really see the floor. We do laundry as needed (like, "Honey, I have no more garments, can we run a load?"), and all at once. If we're having a good day, we do get it folded and put away on the same day. If not, it will sit in a basket, usually in the hallway, until we use all the clothes, or for a week or two, whichever comes first.

The bathrooms are typically harder for me than the kitchen is. Don't look at my toilets!! The kid's potty is clean, at least!! I will clean the bathrooms really well when I know I'm having company over, but otherwise, it doesn't happen until I can't stand it anymore. DH may take the initiative on cleaning the kitchen for me or with me, but the bathroom is apparently my domain, and well, I don't do it well.

I told myself when we moved into this apartment 2.5 years ago that I was going to create a cleaning schedule and stick to it. But, I didn't. I would always rather be doing something different. I haven't mastered my self-discipline enough to stay on top of things. I am grateful that I only have a 2 bedroom apartment to deal with, because when things get bad, it only takes part of a day of hard work to get it back in order. If I had a larger house, I can see myself getting overwhelmed. Still, there are days I want to just sweep an entire tabletop into a garbage bag and toss it out, never looking back. I feel like if I did a super decluttering, we'd have less mess, an easier space to clean, and feel happier. I always feel better after we've cleaned. Sometimes I stop and think "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" and "no unclean thing can enter into Heaven", and look at my house, and just inwardly groan. I hope I will get better in my lifetime! But it will take baby steps.

But yes, I'm among those who just don't invite people over, except on rare occasions, and those who only open the door enough to be talked to and not see into my apartment. I'm so glad I dont' have friends who just drop by, I think I would die.

Anyway, slightly changing the subject here...
DS went into Nursery for the first time yesterday. It was okay, but not great. I stayed there for about 10-15 minutes until he was well distracted by toys, and took my leave. He was fine and happy until they closed the partition and put the toys away in preparation for lesson/snack/music time. Then he lost it. I told them explicitly to bring him to me if he seemed inconsolable (and I used the excuse that he vomits when he gets very upset, although that hasn't happened since he was much younger...although he still gags as if he will vomit, if he's too far gone...), mostly because in the short time I was there, they kept talking about how they had no problems letting the kids just cry after their parents left, because they were almost always fine in about 5 minutes. So anyway, they did bring him to me, and I nursed him and tried to get him to go back. He was pretty tired, unfortunately, from a very unrestful night with teething. But when we got back in, it was goldfish snack time, and he *just* discovered these a couple weeks ago and loves them, so he sat down happily with the other kids.

I left again at music time, went back to my primary class to teach my half of the lesson, and DH went to the nursery, just planning to hang outside of the door if all looked ok. But he was already wailing loudly by the time he got there, so he just stayed inside with DS for the rest of the time.

I hope it will get better in a few weeks, as he gets used to the routine of it, but the teachers make me a little nervous. Every time I was in there, for the entire time I was there, one of the Sisters was just totally involved with chatting with parent, only interacting with the kids when they got into screaming matches over toys. And the other Sister didn't seem like she was really a kid-person, either...when one girl asked for more snacks, she kept bluntly saying, "No! No more snacks, all done!" as if the asking for more was really getting on her nerves.

I'm worried that DS's temperment combined with the types of teachers in Nursery will be a bad combination and he won't take well to Nursery. Which makes me a little sad, because the teachers in the older Nursery, that my daughter was in just last year, were *fantastic*, wonderful people who the kids just *adored*. Why does it seem like DS's nursery leaders just don't care?
post #127 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.
Stacy, I'm soooo soo so sorry about your news :
A sister during testimony meeting yesterday shared how a friend of hers had to deliver a baby in an emergency situation at 29 weeks. It was so sad to hear. But the sister also mentioned how many prayers were going to that family and new little baby, and what a blessing those prayers were. The baby lived for a week. Her words were "that sweet baby", actually, and that really touched my heart.

When I was 13 weeks pregnant with DS, I had a large gush of bleeding and was suddenly terrified that the pregnancy was ending. A U/S following the event found a beating heart, and the relief I felt was astounding to me. I can only imagine how you feel at this point, seeing no baby, and having to look forward to a procedure like this.

Loss is so sad in any situation. God's plans for our children, born or unborn, take such an amazing amount of faith to deal with. I will keep you in my prayers... :
post #128 of 575
oh sweetheart, i am SOOOOO sad to read this

HUGS!!!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.
post #129 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDSmomma6 View Post
Guys, I am sorry if I offended. Really. But to me clutter is not dirty. Heck, my house is cluttered, but it's clean. But it's not trashy either.

This house is dirty. It's sick. It's like the trash can is right there, Brenda...use it! But no, trash is everywhere, including dirty diapers. She was so excited to get "pre-made" formula so that she wouldn't have to make it, but yet 1/2 emptied bottles lay everywhere.

It is gross.


As for the formula and sleeping thing...I know. But he slept 7 straight hours last night (and 6 the night before!)! :
It's alright -dirty diapers everywhere would gross me out, with the OCD. I couldn't even help her clean. I'd have to leave.

She is very overwhelmed and depressed and could probably use someone to hold her baby just so she can shower. It would be great if someone could give her a sling and show her how to use it so that she could get more done and take her baby out of the house with her and nurse on the go.
post #130 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.
post #131 of 575
i'm pretty anal about my house. like right now, it's what i would consider out of control and i'm pretty unmotivated to pick up LOL. our house is Always clean, sometimes there is more stuff out, but it's never dirty.

i'm not really judgemental when i go to others homes and they are either over cluttered or dirty, but i do wonder how people can live like that simply because *I* can't. in the end, to each their own!

i know my mom things that my house in unorganized, which makes me laugh. mostly because i think my house is super organized. she told me once that the kids clothes set up was confusing. the girls each have a drawer and in that drawer are pjs, shorts or pants, long sleeve shirts or short sleeve shirts ( depending on the time of year). then the top drawer is undies, one daughter on one side and one daughter on the other side. there is one drawer for socks and tights. then, in their closet my middle daughter's hanging clothes are on the top. it goes skirt, dresses, shirts, jackets/ sweater/ sweatshirts and then the same on the bottom rack, only my oldest daughter's stuff is there. and on the back of the closet door is a shoe rack. sandels or summer shoes on top, grouped in pairs. the middle is my oldest daughters winter shoes, grouped in pairs and the bottom is my middle daughters shoes, again grouped in pairs. personally, i think it is quite organized and makes a lot of sense. to my mom? not so much LOL.

so, i don't judge or at least i try not to. and people can live however they like cause i'm sure that people have issues with the way i live too
post #132 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
I had an u/s this morning. There's no baby.

I have to find an ob/gyn to do a d & c. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, and its not looking like my body is going to take care of this any time soon. And after my last experience with a m/c- hemmoraging followed by an emergency d&c, I'm not excited about that.
Stacy - I'm so sorry I know you were excited about this baby and your first homebirth!

Are you comfortable going straight to the D&C, or do you want to learn about other options first? I'm not trying to convince you either way, but just wanted to help if you were looking for other options
post #133 of 575
has anyone seen or heard of "jesus camp" movie?
post #134 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leiahs View Post
The bathrooms are typically harder for me than the kitchen is. Don't look at my toilets!! The kid's potty is clean, at least!! I will clean the bathrooms really well when I know I'm having company over, but otherwise, it doesn't happen until I can't stand it anymore. DH may take the initiative on cleaning the kitchen for me or with me, but the bathroom is apparently my domain, and well, I don't do it well.
My toilet is spotless. It's the one area I use commercial cleaner instead of environmentally friendly cleaner. I have panic atacks and won't use it if it is dirty. I've actually "held it" while cleaning, to make sure I have a sanitary place to go. I'll skip some public restrooms if they aren't clean enough, and pile on layers of toilet paper when there aren't toilet seat covers.

And what is it with Utahand no seat covers??? That has enraged me since we moved here!!! I actually talked about it in therapy.
post #135 of 575
Stacy. I had an early ultrasound (didn't realize how early at the time) with DD and they told me it was a blighted ovum. I was planning on having a D&C really soon, because I just felt so ready and anxious to have another child. Between a holiday weekend, a check for hcg levels, and a change of CNM practices, it was two weeks before I had another ultrasound, and by then I was far enough along to show a beautiful healthy baby. I'm not saying this might happen to you, just that I sometimes still just shudder when I look at my daughter and think how nearly I came to aborting her. But I totally understand the desire to move on. I was so depressed those two weeks when I thought I was carrying a failed pregnancy. Be good to yourself and pray for comfort.
post #136 of 575
to Stacy

I have allowed my son to keep his MySpace account. He did delete it back in the fall, but he know has another one. He knows I'm not to crazy about it, but I do have access to it, and it's not bad. Well, last night he left it on and I just had to look again to make sure everything was cool. My sister, age 26 1/2, not married, ex-LDS, has a MySpace acct. She has taken part of her last name (my maiden name) and has rhymed it with the word B*tch. I knew it was her. I looked at it, and : and , so I deleted her acct from my son's MySpace. I then emailed her and said "WOW to your MySpace profile". We are now emailing back and forth. She says that she knows how I am, so that is why I made DS delete her, and that she is a good person, and I shouldn't judge her, and I emailed her back and told her that she must be guilty about something and that I didn't want DS to see how really his aunt is (according to her website), and that I want him to know her as a better person then that, not that she isn't a good person now, just her website is not. DS probably has already read her profile...and knows that she worships Budweiser Beer, and that she gets drunk, and that she is a good lover, and that everything resolves around her and she doesn't care about anyone else, even though she says she does. I'm waiting to see what she emails me with next.

I don't think I was wrong deleting the space. Or was I? I know most of you don't have teenagers, but just you wait. All you want to do is protect and shelter them, but at the same time, you can't always, but also they don't need to have crappy website saved like my sister's.
post #137 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDSmomma6 View Post
to Stacy

I have allowed my son to keep his MySpace account. He did delete it back in the fall, but he know has another one. He knows I'm not to crazy about it, but I do have access to it, and it's not bad. Well, last night he left it on and I just had to look again to make sure everything was cool. My sister, age 26 1/2, not married, ex-LDS, has a MySpace acct. She has taken part of her last name (my maiden name) and has rhymed it with the word B*tch. I knew it was her. I looked at it, and : and , so I deleted her acct from my son's MySpace. I then emailed her and said "WOW to your MySpace profile". We are now emailing back and forth. She says that she knows how I am, so that is why I made DS delete her, and that she is a good person, and I shouldn't judge her, and I emailed her back and told her that she must be guilty about something and that I didn't want DS to see how really his aunt is (according to her website), and that I want him to know her as a better person then that, not that she isn't a good person now, just her website is not. DS probably has already read her profile...and knows that she worships Budweiser Beer, and that she gets drunk, and that she is a good lover, and that everything resolves around her and she doesn't care about anyone else, even though she says she does. I'm waiting to see what she emails me with next.

I don't think I was wrong deleting the space. Or was I? I know most of you don't have teenagers, but just you wait. All you want to do is protect and shelter them, but at the same time, you can't always, but also they don't need to have crappy website saved like my sister's.
I would have deleted it and told her to go corrupt someone else's underaged kid. Then I would have suggested that she create a second, cleaner profile if she wanted to be able to share MySpace communications with my son.

I'm not even going to let DS have an online profile anywhere unless he makes it private for friends only, and only if he lets me be a friend so I can see the page. This mama doesn't need to worry about some republican senator getting off to a photo of her precious baby.
post #138 of 575
Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm feeling kind of numb right now.

I spent the past few hours trying to get a d&c scheduled. Finally found an ob that backs up a cnm that my mw works with. Sound complicated enough? It was. Appointment is tomrrow afternoon- I will meet with the Doc first, then probably head over to the hospital for the d&c.

klg47, thanks for your kind words. I'm opting for a d&c this time. My first pregnancy was a m/c, and ended up with me hemmoraging and having an emergency d&c in the ER, with virtually no pain medication. It was a horrible experience. I've talked with Jules extensively today, (besides my husband, she's the only one I've talked to...) and she said that there were herbal options, but with me being so far along (relatively speaking) that a d&c was probably a better option. I tend to agree- I would rather have a d&c in a controlled environment, under general anethsesia, than go through even half of what I did before. I've been reading some on the pregnancy and birth loss forum, and there are many women there who have waited weeks or months for a m/c to happen, and I don't think I can do that.

It seems like a cruel joke. It took us nine months to get pregnant, and I've never been as sick with a pregnancy as with this one. I threw up this morning while getting breakfast ready. According the the u/s this morning, my uterus is measuring exactly what it should be for 13 weeks. I can't believe I went through an entire first trimester of pregnancy, and have nothing but a d&c to look forward to.
post #139 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post
klg47, thanks for your kind words. I'm opting for a d&c this time. My first pregnancy was a m/c, and ended up with me hemmoraging and having an emergency d&c in the ER, with virtually no pain medication. It was a horrible experience. I've talked with Jules extensively today, (besides my husband, she's the only one I've talked to...) and she said that there were herbal options, but with me being so far along (relatively speaking) that a d&c was probably a better option. I tend to agree- I would rather have a d&c in a controlled environment, under general anethsesia, than go through even half of what I did before. I've been reading some on the pregnancy and birth loss forum, and there are many women there who have waited weeks or months for a m/c to happen, and I don't think I can do that.
I have never been in that situation, so I'm not sure what I'd do. I think that I'd like to wait, but I'm sure it would be quite nerve-wracking if the wait went on for more than a few days. And from what you said before, it does sound like your wait could be much longer. Also the GA and controlled environment sounds much better than the emergency situation. Good luck with everything - physical and emotional! I hope your husband and kids take really good care of you in the coming days and weeks
post #140 of 575
Oh Stacymom, I am so, so sorry : I am thinking of you.
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