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LDS Mamas and Papas #39 - Page 27

post #521 of 575
A new worry

Sam has been telling me that his cheek hurts. I couldn't not find anythign yesterday, but today I found a swollen lymph node. It either wasn't there yesterday or it was a lot smaller. I took him to the dr this morning and she said it's bigger than it should be for just an infection. She gave him some antibiotics and sent us to the lab for blood work. She acted like she thinks it's something big. We won't know anything until at least Monday. She said if it gets any bigger or he starts acting weird we have to take him to the ER right away. We all know I'm panicy, so if you could please pray everything is ok.
post #522 of 575
Thanks for the replies on happy feet. I called my mom and told her to not let him watch it. She said that was fine and she is going to lend it to me to watch it. I know from what you guys have written and from what I read on the web that it isn't a movie for ds. He gets really worked up if anything is scary in a movie.

Seren, hope your boy gets better soon.
post #523 of 575
Hi everyone. I just wanted to check in briefly. I'm at my parents' house in L.A. right now. I flew in yesterday for the funeral of my dad's best friend, who was basically an uncle to all of us growing up. I just wanted to share my favorite thought from the service (which I played the organ for: ) This man was a dentist, and a fellow dentist who came to the service said he was a year or so behind Tom at dental school, and when taking the state board exam, Tom told him "Don't worry. The state wants you to pass." He's now on some California board of dentists, and that's what he tells everyone taking the exam, and he credits it to Tom. But the man sharing this related it to the gospel of course. Yes, this life is hard here. We have trials. But don't worry. The Lord wants us to pass this test. I just thought that was so encouraging and I wanted to share it. Hope you all enjoy conference tomorrow. DD and I will be slowly making our way back across the country. I hate flying. But I was glad I could be here.
post #524 of 575
hey quarteralien! i'm about 3 hours away. come see me!

i am an awful mom. all i can think is how badly i want this baby out of me. i know i need to wait and it will happen when it needs to but i just don't want to wait. i have no energy and just am so depressed because i feel like i can't do anything anymore.

and that was my boo hoo moment for this evening!
post #525 of 575
Moving on, I rented Happy Feet the other day for my (will be 2 in a week!) dd and I to watch. There was less adult aimed jokes than movies like Ice Age and Shrek, but more scary parts. If you have a sensitive child, I wouldn't recommend it. No one dies, but it could be a little scary! My dd loved it, she's my dancing queen!!!
Seren, to you and Sam! I hope it is nothing serious and will keep your family in my prayers!
I doubt I'll make any Conference Sessions this time. I'm working 3rd shift this entire weekend, so I don't think I'll have enough energy to go! But I'll read the talks later!
post #526 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Maggie, I don't think you're a horrible mom, but I would just like to gently add that there are several of us on this board (including me!) who would do pretty much anything to feel energy depleted because of pregnancy. Just giving you a tad bit of perspective, please don't get offended.
i'm sorry you are going through this.
i too have to point out that there are those of us whose pregnancies don't go well at all. for me my first two resulted in several hospital stays which i narrowly avoided this time and this time around has sent me into a bad depression from the days where ending my life seemed like a good option. believe it or not giving birth is a sudden release. i only bring this up because although i have never felt the pain of not being able to conceive i have felt the pain of coming up against my own body and mind rejecting being pregnant. as with you and those like you there are those like me who still need kind words and support. i remember when i was throwing up blood in the hospital and the Dr was suggesting termination of the pregnancy being told by my mother to just be thankful i could easily get pregnant. i am so very thankful. that doesn't take away from the fact that it is difficult (to put it lightly) and support is still very much needed. in the future i will direct my comments about not being 100% happy and feeling 100% great during pregnancy to my husband who understands from having to spend more nights than not with me in a less than joyus state. i hardly complain about what is going on with me and try so hard to be positive about my pregnancies because i am so thankful. what i just let spill over in my PP is the overflow. i don't like to complain about what is such a blessing. i just want to assure you i'm not complaining about 'a little fatigue'. i so understand that you are in pain. please don't take mine as being petty and selfish. far from it. i am thankful, but in pain myself and i'm not the only one. we are entitled to not be happy with our situations as you are. i'm sure i have offended more than one with my post and i'm sorry. but please please please remember that there are always those out there who are struggling where you might feel they couldn't possibly be. i'm sorry i brought it up. it won't happen again.
post #527 of 575
i really don't know what else to say. this doesn't seem like the best place for me right now and i thought it was the one place i could go. i think i'll bow out for a while and come back when i'm more myself. i'll still be around because the internet communities i frequent really help me out. but i feel like this isn't the place for me right now and i so don't want to offend any of the wonderful mommas here.
post #528 of 575
I am still in the early not sure if I am going to bring home a baby stage...since my pregnancies so far all start with massive bleeding, cramping, and have had sch's with each pregnancy that has resulted in a baby, or an angel....but...If I get past this...I know I have had in my previous pregnancies hyperemesis leading to hospital stays of lengthy durations, pain. exhaustion. bedrest(which would be fun with a 22 month old and 7 month old!) pelvic seperation to the point I cannot walk and need a wheelchair......and labour is blessed relief. I don't know if I will get there. I pray every day that God wants me to keep this baby here with me...but that doesn't mean if everything goes "well" and any of the above happen i won't be praying for this baby to decide to be born as soon as it is safe for him or her to be born.

Sorry. Just my two cents.
post #529 of 575
And I really hope everything goes well with your birth Maggie. I really enjoy reading your posts.
post #530 of 575
Mags, ignore the comment. I don't think she thought that through before she typed it.

You are entitled to your feelings and should feel safe posting them here. It took me five years to get Connor but I didn't get upset when people had difficult pregnancies and complained, and didn't begrudge them when they had easy, fantastic pregnancies.

I, for one, am very depressed to be pregnant a year earlier than planned, and the first person to tell me to get some perspective is going to be . I feel enough guilt already, especially since NCD is very happy about it. What I need is encouragement and empathy, not "Some women can't have babies." Right, so those women have not had a traumatic birth experience that makes them afraid to give birth again.

The infertility of others does not diminish my experience, and it does not diminish your experience. Perspective comes AFTER the experience. Or, for those of us with mental health problems, sometimes it never comes.

And no, I don't feel like being nice right now. I'm moody, nauseated, and scared.
post #531 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
And no, I don't feel like being nice right now. I'm moody, nauseated, and scared.
Oh yes. me too. And was told on monday Dr thinks bipolar.
I must have missed, didn't know you were expecting alisa.
post #532 of 575
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiannancy View Post
I must have missed, didn't know you were expecting alisa.
You didn't miss anything. We just found out earlier this week, and confirmed it today (the original test was an older one, and so we bought a new test today and:

So, Alisa's most recent post was the first announcement of it

Plus, check out her siggy!
post #533 of 575
I deleted the first part of my post b/c evidently I wasn't understood and was then attacked for just trying to point out that there are other sides to the coin. For the record, I had a hard pregnancy with my first as well. I wasn't just dismissing your pain and suffering. But, evidently, I was wrong to voice my opinion, however gently I tried. I'm sorry I offended you by "not thinking it through"


Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
Mags, ignore the comment. I don't think she thought that through before she typed it.

You are entitled to your feelings and should feel safe posting them here.
Evidently, this doesn't apply to everyone.

Btw, congrats on you pregnancy Alisa.
post #534 of 575
On one of my other forums, when a thread starts going downhill, the dancing cheese smilies are brought out. This thread simply can't disintegrate! There is no other 'safe' place on MDC! If this thread dissolves, I may have to leave MDC (again). (Which might be good because that might help me break the internet addiction.)

So anyway, in lieu of dancing cheese, I'll have to bust out the chocolate and other various smilies:

: :
post #535 of 575


post #536 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
It took me five years to get Connor but I didn't get upset when people had difficult pregnancies and complained, and didn't begrudge them when they had easy, fantastic pregnancies. .
I wish I could have had that good of an attitude. I think you are rather unusual in that sense...most of the women I know dealing with infertility have had an extremely difficult time with other people's pregnancies. For me, it was not something I could just change either. I had my sil tell me that I "just needed to learn how to be happy for other people". But at certain points in my grieving that just wasn't realistic. People telling me that just made it worse because then I had to deal with guilt on top of everthing else.

Now I'm pretty much fine. I still feel a little pang when announcements are made, but other than that it doesn't bother me. Well, I do feel rather left out of most pregnancy/birth discussions...it's not a "painful" thing per se, but mostly a feeling of "I guess I don't really fit in." But at the time we were actively ttc #1, all of this was horrible. A baby shower would guarantee that I'd be up till 3:00 am sobbing.

I would not have ever made a comment to anyone who was pg about it at that time. I would have kept it to myself. But that's good and bad too. It is possible to stuff one's feelings for too long. There are occasionally times when it is healing and empowering to tell people, "This conversation is painful for me." I do wholeheartedly believe that everyone has the right to their own experience, though. The fact is, there is just nothing easy about childbearing. Nothing at all. I think that Heavenly Father makes all aspects of the experience difficult so that we will appreciate our children more...whether they come quickly or whether they take years. I truly believe that sacrifice brings forth love. Some sacrifice through difficult pregnancies, or by accepting pregnancies that they didn't ask for. Other sacrifice through years of effort and waiting to conceive or adopt children, or through submitting to experiences of loss.

Both pregnancy and infertility are "all-consuming" experiences that of necessity require the woman experiencing them to draw inward in order to deal. (I read that in a book somewhere, and I think it is so true.) Infertility was completely all-consuming for me, and was for most of my friends who endured it. From what I read and see from others, pregnancy is pretty much all-consuming as well. Emotions tend to run high in both cases simply because of the nature of the experiences.
post #537 of 575
An update on Sam. I am so incredibly grateful for the preisthood!!!!! My dad and dh gave him a blessing yesterday evening. It said the node would be better in the morning. So when I measured it at 11 pm and it was 5 cm (close to twice the the size it was when the dr measured) I was calmly able to discuss it with dh. Sam was sleeping wonderfully. We really didn't want to wake him up after all the pain he had been in. So we decided to wait until morning and it's significantly smaller. He's up running around being his normal I-have-no-clue-how-he-has-this-much-energy boy.


Alissa, congratulations. I hope everything goes well. I totally know all about not being happy to be pregnant. I know some people don't understand how I could feel that, especially after my miscarriages, but it's a fact. 6 weeks after my fourth miscarriage I found out i was pregnant again. I was terrified and extremely unhappy. I had lost the previous pregnancy at 9 weeks. We think it may have been twins. Our daughter had told me I was pregnant before I knew it. SHe also maintained that there were two babies in there. I was 8 weeks 6 days when I miscarried and we had heard heart tones (just for a second, but in a few different places) I had already felt movement, and the midwife could already feel my uterus. That doesn't happen for a much long time usually as I am very very overweight. Anyways, I was not happy. I still feel guilt over how I felt. It wasn't just that I was scared and I didn't really want to be pregnant. I didn't want that baby, I wanted the baby/babies I had just lost. Of course now i have Madalyn and I so wouldn't trade her for anything and thus the guilt can really get me still. So, I do understand and I hope things go well for you.
post #538 of 575
i'm watching general conference from home and got on to change my siggy and saw the comments made last night.

not sure if you all listened or watched this first session, but my favorite talk so far, and i think will be a favorite for this conference was given by Jeffrey R Holland. just wonderful!!

hugs to everyone who's feeling have been hurt recently.

and congrats to alissa. that is wonderful news. having had three unplanned pregnancies, i can hear where you are coming from getting pg before you planned on it.

i wish you a happy and healthy and uneventful 9 mo!
post #539 of 575
My perspective as a woman who dealt with infertility, and unplanned pregnancy, and a very difficult pregnancy.

Everyone has pain.

It is difficult on a board where there are many people from all walks of life dealing with many different issues to never offend someone, even if the offence is very unintentional.

When I was pregnant, I did not post about my pregnancy problems on my infertility support board. However, MDC is not an infertiliy support board.

I think that on a non-infertility support board, people are going to post things that you won't see on an infertility support board.

It was very hard for me to see on another non-infertility related board to see people being upset by something I wanted so dearly. Then when the unplanned pregnancy happened, I had the double whammy of -- I'm PREGNANT, and I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PREGNANT. Joy and a bit of anger in there. It was not on my planned schedule.

I don't think it is fair to excpect everyone to walk to tiptoe because they might hurt someone, when no hurt is meant. I know how painful it was for me (I'm over it right now) right after DD was born to hear people whining about being so large or being overdue. I barely showed, and had a preemie.

I guess what I'm trying to say in my rambling manner is that we all have pain. We try not to hurt others, but sometimes that hurt occurs, because of the listeners status and nothing to do with the sender.

That is my attempt to help resolve this.
post #540 of 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Evidently, this doesn't apply to everyone.
Not when you're dismissing someone's feelings, no. There's no gentle way to tell someone "hey, you could have it worse." Please consider that next time.
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