Anyone decided not to homebirth even after...

[mamamoogs]

doing the research. We have made a decision to homebirth but my Dh requested I put this post up for him, so here it goes:

He was wondering if anyone decided not to homebirth after doing the research and why did you decided not to?


thanks for helping me help him understand why I want a homebirth.

[sarah0404]

I did. I really wanted a homebirth, and read a lot about it, but because it was my first pregnancy I decided not to. I didn't have a clue what labour would really be like and how I would handle it, so I decided I'd be better off in a hospital, where pain relief would be available. I didn't plan on using the pain relief, but wanted it there just in case. Worst decision I ever made....

I ended up with a c-section. I'm quite sure that could have been avoided if I'd stayed at home.

I should also add that I didn't have a home at that time! I didn't think my parents or in-laws would have been particularly happy about me having a baby in their house.

[alegna]

Nope. Homebirth all the way.

-Angela

[Marvelleaux]

Originally Posted by mamamoogs

doing the research. We have made a decision to homebirth but my Dh requested I put this post up for him, so here it goes:
He was wondering if anyone decided not to homebirth after doing the research and why did you decided not to?

thanks for helping me help him understand why I want a homebirth.

First, congrats on your upcoming homebirth

Second, I wish more men would participate in these online discussions. I've been trying to get my own DH to share his perspective of our decision-making process. Is there any chance that yours would be interested in writing up a little something?

I'll prod mine if you prod yours!

[mamamoogs]

Marvelleaux I cant seem to even get my Dh to talk to other womens Dh who has their homebirth he is being a bit stubborn there, so i probable couldntget him into any type of discussion now, but he has agreed to my homebirth he just is extermly apprehensive which makes a bit of stress for me so i have three months to get hime to come around, i hope he does for all of our sake kwim?

[Munchkimo]

I've arranged to have things so that when I am in labor I can decide whether I want to give birth in the hospital or at home. My CNM at the hospital is supportive should I decide to give birth at home, and my homebirth midwife is supportive should I decide to go in to the hospital.

[RedPony]

Originally Posted by alegna

Nope. Homebirth all the way.

-Angela

Ditto!

[nurnur]

would he be willing to watch a dvd, I have had a lot of luck educating men via the good old SCREEN! Born In the USA http://www.itvs.org/bornintheusa/film.html
has been an invaluable resource for giving the overview of hospital birth/birth center birth/homebirth and different kinds of care.

[Rockies5]

Thats the opposite of what happened to us. My husband was vehemently against homebirth, until he researched it.

After the homebirth, we had 2-UCs.

[earthmama369]

During my first pregnancy, I didn't research it very much and decided to have a hospital birth largely out of fear of the unknown even though my instincts told me everything would be fine. And everything went fine.

The second time we were in our own house rather than an apartment and I did a lot of research. I worked through any lingering fears, did a lot of energy work . . . and decided to go to the hospital. My instincts said I needed to be there. There were two fairly rare complications that I spent a lot of time reading about when I was pregnant, without knowing why. And both of them happened. I won't say I went to the hospital full of fear -- I didn't even have any concrete sense of why I needed to be there -- but I knew that was the right place this time. I mourned the loss of a homebirth because I knew this was likely my last pregnancy, but I feel so empowered knowing that my instincts were right and that this time I listened to them.

So that's how I did the research and decided against a homebirth. That said, if I got pregnant again, I would absolutely listen to my instincts and, highly doubting the same combination of circumstances, I would have a homebirth.

[BurgundyElephant]

All three of my children were hospital births. I did not research before my 1st baby, but did after my second. I chose to deliver in a hospital because I already had two other children, and I knew I personally would get more rest if I were at the hospital, away from husband and kids. I didn't want to be dealing with laundry and feeding kids when I'd just had a baby. It was nice to get fed three meals a day (that I liked) and the only thing I had to worry about was feeding the baby. That said - if I could have birthed at home and had another adult there to take care of kids and meals and laundry and let me just REST I would have done it at home.

[beautyful]

Originally Posted by sarah0404

I did. I really wanted a homebirth, and read a lot about it, but because it was my first pregnancy I decided not to. I didn't have a clue what labour would really be like and how I would handle it, so I decided I'd be better off in a hospital, where pain relief would be available. I didn't plan on using the pain relief, but wanted it there just in case. Worst decision I ever made....

I ended up with a c-section. I'm quite sure that could have been avoided if I'd stayed at home.

my story almost exactly! I wasn't worried about pain relief, but we were 45min from the hospital, so in case something went wrong............

And then I HBAC'ed from the same house. Funny how that turned out to be less scary than another C-section!

[Thalia the Muse]

I considered it, but at the time we lived in a house with no street access. If we'd needed to transport, we would have contended with seven flights of stairs down to the street, and I didn't think dealing with that while hemorrhaging or something would have been too fun.

I wasn't vehemently opposed to a hospital birth, and the one I had went well and was a great experience.

[mommy2two babes]

I decided at the last minute that I wanted to go to the hospital but by that point I was to late. I changed my mind because my midwives worked in a team and I really had some issues with the one I ended up having the week I delivered. I knew right from the begining when I met her that we would not get along. I hoped and prayed that I would get the midwife I wanted but that did not happen.The long and short of it was that she did not listen to me when I said the baby was coming and ended up giving birth in a draining bath tub flat on my back with nothing prepared. I ended up this way because I was pushing and when she had checked me 5 min earlier I was 7 cm. She insted of checking me again or listening to me told me to get in the tub to take the edge off so I wouldn't push! I think personally I would have done better unassisted!: my midwife didn't even page the other midwife until she was at my house for about 10 minutes. the second MW didn't arrive until about 30 minute after my son was born. The first midwife only made it to the last 20 minutes of labor. My mom helped deliver my son as the MW was in the bedroom getting set up while he was crowning. Sorry to carry on I just wanted to say to trust your instincts and make sure you don't have any doubts about your HB midwife.
Good luck
Krista

[a_work_in_progress]

My first was born at a hospital, before I researched.

My second and third were born at home (unassisted).

My fourth was born at a hospital.

Birth is not something that should be medicalized. But, due to having a pre-existing medical condition that could cause complications, I felt giving birth at a hospital was the best choice for #4.

[cappuccinosmom]

We aren't doing homebirth, but not because we don't think it's great. There are a couple factors

1. Can't find a midwife close by who'd do it
2. Couldn't pay for one if we could find one, and insurance wouldn't cover it
3. We share a [thin] wall with neighbors. I don't think I could relax and concentrate on the birth knowing that there were two guys hearing *everything*. :
4. My parents are both doctors and knowing how stressed they would be, even as supportive as they are, would put a lot of stress on me.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by mamamoogs

doing the research. We have made a decision to homebirth but my Dh requested I put this post up for him, so here it goes:

He was wondering if anyone decided not to homebirth after doing the research and why did you decided not to?


thanks for helping me help him understand why I want a homebirth.

although my dh fully supported my desire to hb, my whole pregnancy ifelt a little apprehension from him. but AFTER dd's birth, he said hb was the only way to go! we would never CHOOSE to have a child in the hospital. too much can go wrong, he says. i agree!

[luckymamato2]

I researched it, and because there were questions I couldn't answer and my dh was scared/not willing to pay OOP, we went with the next best option - freestanding birth center. I had a good birth, but if there is another baby for us through pg/birth, I am having a homebirth for sure. There are no birth centers near us (we lived in a different state when dd was born), so I am positive I would end up with a intervention-full birth at the hospital.

[wombatclay]

I would love a homebirth, but for this particular birth it's not an option. Since you ask, here's the short list of "why" we're not birthing at home this time:

--a long labor last time and eventual hospital delivery with a c/s. Most of the care providers who offer homebirth in my community either cannot afford vbac mothers or will only take a vbac mama who has a so-called "proven pelvis". As a first time VBAC DH and I are not comfortable with a UC so this lack of provider is a concern.

--the house we live in is close to the hospital, meaning I know I can labor at home and still travel to the hospital when it feels right. However the house itself is not a "nurturing" place, there is no tub or option of using a kiddy pool style portable tub, and the "vibe" of the neighborhood is very edgy after dark. It is literally impossible for me to totally relax in this house and that is a SERIOUS negative for me in terms of having this be my babe's birthing place.

--the availability of a very mama/baby friendly, VBAC supportive, amazing hospital and an outstanding VBAC support team (two OBs and a doula) on top of the already outstanding VBAC support provided by this hospital. I would be a total wreck if it weren't for the fact that I really do feel loved and supported by my medical team and the hospital staff. They were amazing after my unplanned c/s and have been even more understanding this time.

So although I'd love my homebirth "someday", I am finding my peace with a planned hospital birth this time.

I hope your birth matches your hopes and dreams!

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by mamamoogs

doing the research. We have made a decision to homebirth but my Dh requested I put this post up for him, so here it goes:

He was wondering if anyone decided not to homebirth after doing the research and why did you decided not to?


thanks for helping me help him understand why I want a homebirth.

I decided not too because of my husband. We had a compromise. He had lost two siblings during or after birth, one was a post date baby born with complications from post maturity and the other one died due to cord prolapse, so he wanted our first baby to born in a hospital. He said after that if it was pretty cut and dry I could have the rest of our children at home.

I ended up having an emergency csection after a failed ECV. I had a transverse baby and I had a uterine deformity that had gone undetected until they opened me up on the table.

So the only reason I opted for a hospital birth was "just in case" and in my case it was the right choice.