Claudia. Glad things are looking and feeling better with Bill. Keeping talking.
BTW, that Guster song Satellite is so all over the radio right now and I think of you guys every time I hear it. Fun.
Thanks for the thoughts on the sleep thing. I know I need to let up and stop fighting her. It's one of my parenting challenges. I get really hung up on consistency and I could stand to be more flexible. I fear that she will think me "letting" (ha!) her stay up will result in a bad habit forming, so I hold on tighter than I should. Ugh. I had this overwhelming experience last night of knowing just now NOT in control I am of Mia. Or any of these kids. And coming at it form a place of control, just sooooooo does not work. But it's my default when I am stressed, which has been a lot lately.
And for John's late night, I knew it was going to be at least 7:00 and even when I typed that, I knew I was being optimistic. Thing is, he went in late (due to dealing with his mom's situation), so he had to stay late. Same with today (he took her to the airport this morning). Anyway, I knew that was going to be the case, so we had my birthday dinner on Sunday night. He cooked delicious organic steaks on the grill, baked potatoes, broccoli for him, asparagus for me. So yeah, I knew the late night was coming, and there was some compensation prior to it, but it still made for a long day for me. Yes, I do work hard. Most days, I just suck it up and somehow make it through. But I do notice my stress level is perpetually high and I'm yelling at the kids a lot.
: Something needs to change.
And that, my friends, leads me to sharing a big decision I've made for myself. I'm going back to work. Not a lot (15 hours a week), not a stressful job (pouring wine at a winery tasting room), but it's okay pay (any bit will help at this point) and has a fun, social environment. My mom will watch the kids two days a week (5 hours shifts) and the third shift will be on the weekend so John can keep the kids. This, to me, is an ideal situation for me. I felt guilty for a long time for wanting to do something other than be a full time SAHM, but I'm working through that and realizing I really do think it will be better for everyone if I have a little something else going on. There. I said it.
Okay, I've been working on this post all afternoon and although there are more responses I should make, I have to hit send before some one comes along and smacks the keyboard.