*~*In like a Lion! March thread for May 04 Mamas!*~* - Page 8

[mamameg]

Ooops, I forgot to thank you ladies for the awesome birthday wishes! Sitting down and reading them during my fleeting moments of peace made for some warm fuzzies. :

[jstar]

happy belated birthday meg!! sorry it was a struggle of a day. the spa afternoon sounds MAHHVELLOUS!!!! oh so nice

boo as well for pee in the car. lack of washers. totally overwhelming end of quarter days. and working too many days in a row.

isaac was a bit of a trial last night. we tried a malaysian restaurant and he was &*&^*% obnoxious through the whole meal. just naughty and it was very : and he picked at the food and tried quite a few new things and liked some and spit out others. but i don't think he ate enough because he asked for a bagel before bed and it was already 8:30 so i told him he could have one for breakfast. well who got to make a bagel at 5:30 (which felt like 4:30) am??????? yep. and then he went promptly back to sleep while i didn't. so i feel a bit zombied today.

a chiro visit later should get me sorted out

[Mama Faery]

Yeah, "operation W"....which I am not that serious about...ESPECIALLY when I mentioned something about getting Rowan down to nap yesterday w/o nursing to the RAISIN MAMA and she said, sounding rather disdainful "oh...I didn't even realize you still DID *that*..."

So this afternoon when I was telling Rowan what the rest of our afternoon would entail (home from grocery store, diaper, nap) he said, all hopefully, "nurse!" and I stopped, thought for a second and said "You know what? Yeah, we're gonna NURSE!" Hahaha.

Anyway...HAPPY lovely belated birthday wishes Megan! Sorry your actual birthday was craptastical, but it sounds like it was a bit made up for with those fantastic gifts!
And OMG, I am sorry about Mia's craziness...but it has also made me feel a little bit better, because I am not the only one!! Rowan has been in RARE form the past week or so...and DH and I are both at our wit's end. It's not ALWAYS bad, but the other night DH got up with him from 5-7am, trying to deal with the screaming, squriming, sleep-refusing child who nonetheless did NOT want Daddy to stop patting him! : Yeah...
And I was away working the past few days, but this madness started BEFORE that. *sigh* We're trying to ride it out.

And now, that is enough out of me. I have to sort some laundry before Rowan wakes up (He's still napping! woo!)
Loves to you all!

ETA: comical laundry story: right, so. I have been washing Rowan's load of laundry for THREE DAYS now. Wanna know why? Because the kid dropped a handful of CRAYONS into his laundry bag, and I failed to notice them until it was too late. :
Good thing they were washable crayons...

[mcsarahb]

Happy belated BDay, Meg! Sorry it was not so good, but hope Saturday more than makes up for it.

[elsanne]

OH, Meg. What fantastic gifts. What a scheit-y day you had, and I am sorry 'bout that. It's all about YOU this weekend, though...yaaay! Did MIL make it on the plane?
What is the deal with 10 PM??? dh arriving home? Work? Commute? I remember you 'spected him about 7 pm and that was bad enough. I cannot imagine how hard you work, girl. I am really thinkin' bout you. The nighttime drama is so hard. Trust that it will pass--I think I would take a different tack if I were you, which would be to not fight it. Not like I got it down, you understand, except right now I do. It always changes. But whenever we are fighting the bedtime big time I just throw my hands up and at its worst I told her FINE--stay up--but I'm going to do what I would do if you were asleep and I am NOT PLAYING WITH YOU. You stay up, but do your own thing. Usually she will eventually fall asleep looking at books with me or viet after that. It is so hard when you are alone, though, and no other adult to take over the baby/toddler unless one is already mercifully asleep.
That is just one idea, I have a handful I use but basically the one that works is the one where I can attempt to go with the flow and not fight. And wait until she's really, really tired to try again. I struggle too though so truly it's mostly commiseration I offer.

[TurboClaudia]

megan: we've only just (like since the end of january) entered the land of minimal struggles and relatively short bedtime routine for the toddler. we finish dinner, play a bit, get dressed in pjs, brush teeth (if we remember), maybe watch a little bit of thomas the tank engine or maybe just go right to the bedroom, read some books, turn off the light, and he's usually out within 20 minutes if i lay down with him but sometimes 45 minutes if it's bill because i'm otherwise occupied with babe. this is with no napping in the afternoon. if there is a nap, the routine does get shifted back towards 9ish instead of 730ish.

currently, babe is napping in the turned off car in the garage and i just finally got to clip marek's fingernails while he watches between the lions on pbs. watching tv is the only way to clip his nails. ever. and toes are still impossible with it. and what's with the fear of water on his head in the shower or bath? he hate, hate, HATES getting his hair washed. and he has long hair! so it needs to be washed every week or so. or at least gotten wet.

also, jealous of your spa day, megan. sounds yummy. enjoy it!

oh, and bill and i FINALLY got to talk for a while on sunday evening after the monkeys went to sleep. we shared some dessert and wine and had a nice conversation and cried and it was a start. we have more to talk about on an ongoing basis, but some things i was assuming are in fact not true, so all in all, i feel better about things.

~claudia

[Jacqueline]

claudia-G has the same issues with nail clipping and hair washing! The fingernails are getting better, but toenails are impossible. And, dh does bathtime mostly, but I hear the screams during hair washing. He's always hated water on his head, but I keep thinking it will get better. It hasn't. He also despises any shirts that aren't button-up because he doesn't like anything tight on his head. He's gotten a little better on the shirt thing, though. I'm hoping they'll outgrow it all eventually....but it is frustrating.

Claudia-I'm also glad you and Bill got to talk.

heather-sorry you're feeling so icky. I feel for ya!!!!

Renae-sorry you had no weekend. that sucks. Hope you have time to relax this week!

MCSarahB-you'll make it! Your conference sounds great and hopefully is enought of an incentive to get you through it.

Meg-Happy Birthday a little late! Sorry it was so rough with Mia but spa day will make up for it a little. Birthdays just aren't the same as when were younger, are they?

Thanks everyone for your kinds words about the house. We were supposed to have the inspection today but it was postponed, so G and I got to go to LLL and then to the park. The weather here is absolutely beautiful and I'm loving the taste of spring.

I need to go get ready to drop G off with dh so I can work tonight. Peace out, mamacitas!

[jstar]

i am still in risk of cutting off a toe every single time i cut the so-long-they're-curling-under toenails. he haaaaaaaaates it. i have to sit on his legs and do other pretzel maneuvers in order to do it. i hate it too! fingers he is fine with and holds his hands out. it is SILLY. isaac hates his hair washed too. and i have to wash it because he smells like sweaty playground boy already if i don't get it every few days. luckily he's been pretty into going in the shower with me instead of taking a bath and for some reason if i pick him up and hold him 'in the waterfall' he is fine with it.

i'm glad you got to talk to bill.

i have no words of wisdom about bedtime struggles. i've heard a visual chart on the wall can be good. like take a picture of her doing each step and put them up in order and then talk through the steps as you do them. if you want to only read 3 books show her holding 3 books. she sounds more like she understands the routine and is just exerting her autonomy instead

i've started really working to institute a bedtime. our dinnertime is really all over the place (so consequently his bedtime was a bit random) but in the last couple of months doug and i decided 8pm is when we start the bedtime routine. i start giving warnings at a quarter til... 'you have 15 more minutes to play because it will be 8 oclock and time for jammies' i'm usually back downstairs by 9 for a blessed hour of quiet tv time

[KKmama]

I need to somehow block the access to the restart button on the computer. I had a nice message ready to post this a.m., but .... :

Anyway, I wanted to say yippee on the house, Jacquie. You deserve it.

And big s to Meg on the birthday. I am ssssooooooooooooooooo glad your dh did right by you.

And I just want to tell MCSB to hang in there! (Your fan club is rooting for you!!)

Not the RAISIN MAMA!!!!!!!!! Just say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

I want to write more, but I have to supervise homework. I just want to say and how much I enjoy reading my May Mamas every afternoon, especially this one!

[TurboClaudia]

holy cr*p jess! are you really almost 30 weeks???!!!??? i mean, i know you are, but are you really? you could have a babe in less than 2 months!!! or as much as just over 3 months!!! wowza! sending you don't freak out too much about the giving birth vibes...

[elsanne]

Originally Posted by KKmama

Not the RAISIN MAMA!!!!!!!!!

ITA, Renae....wassup with that...

My therapist and I went round n round (well, it was pretty cut n dried, actually) about relationships/friendships that were not beneficial for me and cutting them out of my life. Think on that one, chiquilla.

[jstar]

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia

holy cr*p jess! are you really almost 30 weeks???!!!??? i mean, i know you are, but are you really? you could have a babe in less than 2 months!!! or as much as just over 3 months!!! wowza! sending you don't freak out too much about the giving birth vibes...

tell me about it!!! i am reaching parade float status i'm really just hoping not to be pregnant to 42 weeks. one can hope right??????????? it hadn't really occurred to me that i could possibly have a baby in 2 months. but you're right ----------> argggughghhhhh!!!!! whoa.

(i've only been managing to update my ticker every other week so i'm gaining 2 weeks at a time on the visual thang).

[mamameg]

Claudia. Glad things are looking and feeling better with Bill. Keeping talking.

BTW, that Guster song Satellite is so all over the radio right now and I think of you guys every time I hear it. Fun.

Thanks for the thoughts on the sleep thing. I know I need to let up and stop fighting her. It's one of my parenting challenges. I get really hung up on consistency and I could stand to be more flexible. I fear that she will think me "letting" (ha!) her stay up will result in a bad habit forming, so I hold on tighter than I should. Ugh. I had this overwhelming experience last night of knowing just now NOT in control I am of Mia. Or any of these kids. And coming at it form a place of control, just sooooooo does not work. But it's my default when I am stressed, which has been a lot lately.

And for John's late night, I knew it was going to be at least 7:00 and even when I typed that, I knew I was being optimistic. Thing is, he went in late (due to dealing with his mom's situation), so he had to stay late. Same with today (he took her to the airport this morning). Anyway, I knew that was going to be the case, so we had my birthday dinner on Sunday night. He cooked delicious organic steaks on the grill, baked potatoes, broccoli for him, asparagus for me. So yeah, I knew the late night was coming, and there was some compensation prior to it, but it still made for a long day for me. Yes, I do work hard. Most days, I just suck it up and somehow make it through. But I do notice my stress level is perpetually high and I'm yelling at the kids a lot. : Something needs to change.

And that, my friends, leads me to sharing a big decision I've made for myself. I'm going back to work. Not a lot (15 hours a week), not a stressful job (pouring wine at a winery tasting room), but it's okay pay (any bit will help at this point) and has a fun, social environment. My mom will watch the kids two days a week (5 hours shifts) and the third shift will be on the weekend so John can keep the kids. This, to me, is an ideal situation for me. I felt guilty for a long time for wanting to do something other than be a full time SAHM, but I'm working through that and realizing I really do think it will be better for everyone if I have a little something else going on. There. I said it.

Okay, I've been working on this post all afternoon and although there are more responses I should make, I have to hit send before some one comes along and smacks the keyboard.

[mamameg]

Kids are cutting me a break, so I'm back. (Today was a much better day, BTW. I made an effort to chill out and Mia responded by being a cool, fun little kid. And both kids napped at the same time. That makes any day better.)

Originally Posted by KKmama

Not the RAISIN MAMA!!!!!!!!! Just say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :

: Although, I shouldn't talk. I have a fairly toxic friend here in Sonoma who I know I should cut out, but can't bring myself to. I successfully keep her at arm's length, but I am still sometimes annoyed with myself that I put up with her at all.

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia

holy cr*p jess! are you really almost 30 weeks???!!!???

I know HUH???? How did that happen?

Time keeps on slippin slippin slippin, into the future....

Have I mentioned how tripped out I am that I am planning Jett's first birthday party? It's in 6 weeks! Holy Time Warp.

Jacqueline, SUPER COOL HOUSE! I love the look, the price, the size, the everything! Reminded me that we are pretty foolish to live here in CA. Everything here is $$$.

MCSB, keep on truckin, mama. You can do it!

Okay, break's over.

[mcsarahb]

Thanks for thinking of me, gals. Big presentation today, over and done with, went well. One down; another presentation, two papers, and two final exams to go!

Megan, glad to hear today was better. I bow down to those of you with kids all day, every day. And multiple kids, just wow. Yay for going back to work! It sounds like a fun gig. And good timing.

Jstar, I would totally love to see if I can tell if babe's head down, any time. Seriously. 30 weeks has gone by awfully quickly. Holy gestational progress, Batman.

Jacqueline, the house sounds divine. I do envy you the jacuzzi. Mmmmmmm.

Claudia - so glad things are looking up a bit. Sorry I missed the BSN meeting last night; I was just beat and had to prepare for today.

On nails: Lily will let us cut them if she's in the mood. So we just ask a few times until she says yes, and then she will sit still.

On bed: DH has gotten it down pretty well in the last month or so. It was getting more and more drawn out and annoying, with Lily asking for more and more books and time with him laying next to her, so he put his foot down. Now he tells her how many books to pick out (4-6ish, depending on how late it is) and when they're done, he gets up. 9 times out of 10 she's out in 10 minutes, and the other time she squirms a bit and talks to herself, he reminds her to go to sleep, and she settles down. Maybe 2 or 3 times since this routine started, she's whined and gotten out of bed, but he just ignores her and she eventually has gone back and fallen asleep. It's really been quite a good system. I do want it to be earlier; lately it's gotten later and later, but since I don't have to do it I really can't complain. Now that I've said this I'm sure it will get bad again, but oh well. It definitely has been bad before.

Pizza for dinner tonight - this week is kind of crazy so we're letting dinner plans be flexible, tg.

TTFN-

S.

[nuggetsmom]

Meg, That sounds like an awesome kind of job. Fun, social and leave it when you are done. 5 hour shifts sounds reasonable and not too long and tiring. Great. As for bedtime, the chart sounds like a great idea. I like consistency too and N really needs it from me. J is more flexible and can stand changes in routine though it doesn't happen much. I also read exactly 3 stories and then leave., I will let them read a book for themselves or listen to music OR lately they have been listening to this obnoxious story reading bear which I love since they love it so much.

Sarah- I guesss you are probably finished with your presentations and on your way by now.

Renae- stay away from teh Raisin mama. All she is raisin is your blood pressure!

Jess-wow. seems like things are going fast.

Actually I can't believe school is almost over! And Julia can go to camp this year if she is potty trained, so here is hoping she is... Of course I could do something more about it but I am hoping she will stip wetting herself and decide that she can poop there on her own. I mean, she knows we do that! Well, we will see. I can sign her up...

[mamameg]

Nugg, thanks for the reminder about the chart. I remember reading that here recently and totally forgot about it. I think it would do us some good!

Potty training. We are just about there. This weekend we are making the big switch to underwear. Her teacher told me today she said she wanted to wear panties, and that she's been using the potty as school pretty consistently all of a sudden. Teacher also recommended a method for making the switch. It goes like this.

Choose a weekend where things are mellow in the house, not too much unusual stuff going on. Set child up with easily accessible clean pants and underwear, along with a basket of rags. When child has an accident, don't react or get emotional about it at all. Calmly direct him/her to change their own clothes, and use a rag to clean up any mess they made. Make it their thing. After all, it IS their thing. Only they can do it. So let them do it.

I'm excited about it. Gotta go shopping for underwear though.

[TurboClaudia]

nuggets: is that TJ Bearytales? (or as marek likes to call him, "PJ Beh-wee-ta-oohs" -- he can say the letter t in thomas the train, but chooses to call him PJ instead )

[elsanne]

Meg, I am so psyched for you that you are taking steps to change your stress level!! Yay for a lil job-cito! When would you start?
I too am a control-monster and I struggle because two of my wonderful irl friends with girls Sol's age believe that I am a super-lax mom, that I am not anywhere NEAR as controlling as I need to be. And Viet is at the other end of the spectrum, and I see what my need for control does to my relationship with Sol. It's a tough one for me, because I believe that her personality requires more flexibility although my personal belief is consistency above all things. My ex-dh would also comment on my lack of flexibility, no doubt. I have a feeling this is going to be an issue for many years to come, in different ways. Gah.

Meg when Sol first started "school" in september she was wavering on that PL edge, and I decided to just send her in panties instead of dipes to push her over that edge. It worked--and they are used to accidents. In all that time she's had about 5 accidents. Now we almost never have them! I do try to cart around a pair of pants/undies for most excursions, jic.
Cannot BELIEVE Jett is going to be a year old. Wow.

Jstar I cannot believe how fast time flies. Any preg pics?

[KKmama]

Meg, don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself. I think it sounds like a *great* idea. (And remember--when mama isn't happy, NOBODY'S happy.)

Els, I identify with your 2nd paragraph there. (And hey, wasn't that the point about my blog piece about not nagging T in the morning????) I have friends/acquaintances IRL who I'm sure think that I border on neglect (because I no longer hover over Z at the playground while he's climbing, because I let them get FILTHY at the playground, because I don't always "have it together", etc etc etc), but I also know some find me SO UPTIGHT. : I think you're great. (I'm probably okay, too. )

Gotta go. : mamas.