"Did he go?"

[lexmas]

Anyone else get tired of this question?

Every time I'm around other people, and I take DS to the bathroom, as soon as I come back, that's what they ask me. I hate the pressure! Sometimes I feel like lying when he didn't go, and saying that "Yes, he did go, in fact, he also completed a few quadratic equations and created a new theory of relativity while working out his poop. He'll be nominated for a nobel prize before we know it. Next potty session: world hunger." I mean, sure, he does go a lot of the time, but if I take him and he doesn't go, I feel like they're keeping track. "Okay, this is the third time she's taken the baby and he hasn't gone. Any bets on next time?"

Lol just had to vent a little, and knew this was the place to get it out. I know they're just curious, but its driving me nuts. Do you just answer yes or no when people ask you? Is there any other way to answer it? It kind of reminds me when I was pregnant and people would ask, "So...how much weight HAVE you gained?" However, I don't think my stock pregnancy answer of "an appropriate amount" is a good answer for this one.

Hmm...maybe I should start grilling them when they come back from the bathroom..."Did you go?"

[granolalight]

Originally Posted by lexmas

Hmm...maybe I should start grilling them when they come back from the bathroom..."Did you go?"

:

too funny.

After your dh potties ds, don't you ask the same question? i do; can't help myself! my friend was just here visiting for a few days and was absolutely fascinated w/ EC. She asked every time and was just delighted when we caught one. She even pottied him a few times.

I think people just find it curious and interesting, yk?

[ddschlr]

I take it for the positive. My family always asks. I think it is because they are so excited that he uses the potty. Not that anyone is keeping track. My Dad loves telling people that he uses the potty and how long he has been doing it (my son that is).

[Twwly]

Originally Posted by ddschlr

I take it for the positive. My family always asks. I think it is because they are so excited that he uses the potty. Not that anyone is keeping track. My Dad loves telling people that he uses the potty and how long he has been doing it (my son that is).

Big ditto here.

I feel more pressure from non-family members personally. I feel like with my family (who have all taken turns pottying DS at some point) understand EC, but with friends it's different. They still barely believe it.

[Vortexing]

We've decided that b/c of the intensity of parental curiosity, we have a little nod we do when we've had a mission accomplished, and another when we weren't so lucky... Other people are not allowed to ask. We make some sort of snarky comment like your (Lexmus) comment about THEM going potty.

Generally we have a pretty good sense of humor about other people asking , b/c we want to encourage people to 1) not think we're completely insane, and 2) encourage people to do it themselves!! We try to make a bigger deal about a successful pottytunity than a dry one so that people are sufficiently impressed.

[lexmas]

Lol. Yeah, I do ask DH when he potties DS, but I'm not going to judge him for the baby not going. Okay, maybe I am...

I think its more of an issue when its people who are openly critical of the process in the first place. If they were generally just intrigued, then it would be okay. But the people who insist I'm just catching by luck...well, I'm not doing much to disprove them when I come back from an unsuccessful potty.

Thanks for all the imput though, I do love seeing how other people deal with EC in their lives!

[IntoTheBliss]

Originally Posted by lexmas

It kind of reminds me when I was pregnant and people would ask, "So...how much weight HAVE you gained?" However, I don't think my stock pregnancy answer of "an appropriate amount" is a good answer for this one.

Ugh, I hated that question! My husband didn't understand why it bothered me, it is just too personal of a question! But why not have a stock answer? "He did what he needed to do."

Hmm...maybe I should start grilling them when they come back from the bathroom..."Did you go?"

I like this. It reminds me of that joke "I used to get annoyed when little old ladies would poke me during weddings and tell me 'you're next'. They quit doing this once I started doing the same to them during funerals."

[Ruthla]

Well, yes, he went. He went into the bathroom, right? Whether or not he urinated or defacated while he was there is immaterial. He DID go to the bathroom!

[cmg]

Well, I always ask dh this so that I know when next to potty the kid... but I think I phrase it as, "did she have to go?" (sub-text - did she pee on you again ;-) ).

I think a lot of it's curiousity. And maybe a fascination that a baby can Pee That Much. That Often. Ha.

Maybe you could answer "no - would you like to hold him/her until he/she does?"

[rumi]

I don't think this question is exclusively reserved for the EC babies. I know even with 24/7 diapered babies it seems to be a community concern as to whether they've had their BM yet .... it seems to me that this is a time honored tradition and some people ask because they think that this is the proper, concerned thing to ask. we were visiting an aunt of mine and after asking this very question, she laughingly told me how when she was a young mother, her mother would call her on the phone every day to ask, "did he go?"

anyway, I think the thing to do when the answer is no, is simply to say it with a big smile and stop thinking that it reflects on our parental effectiveness. (This will be a very good skill which we will have to use in many circumstances between now and age 18.)

[Incubator]

Originally Posted by IntoTheBliss

"I used to get annoyed when little old ladies would poke me during weddings and tell me 'you're next'. They quit doing this once I started doing the same to them during funerals."

[lexmas]

:

These responses are too funny, and you can sure bet I'm going to try them out! Now I won't feel guilty for "he went", but I do enjoy, "he did what he needed to do"...certainly good as stock responses go! And I'm saving "no, would you like to hold him until he does" for a naked summer day lol!

[Ish'smom]

I dont get asked often but when I do I just say "no, he wasn't ready yet so he told me no" (He arches his back when not ready) So then it is changing it from a performance thing and putting the "success" or lack of it on you instead of the baby or EC. It says that he is communicating whether you get it right all the time or not.