So my mom is probably going to be here when the baby is born. She lives 2000 miles away so she'll fly in when I am 38 weeks and stay until just after the baby is born. I want her here to be with my son who will be 3 yrs old. We're preparing him to be there during the birth but he's pretty sensitive when it comes to me so we also need someone there who can take him elsewhere if he doesn't want to be here anymore. My mom is the only person I trust to have in my home while I'm birthing. With anyone else I would feel like I need to be quiet or dressed or any of that other stuff. I can be fairly uninhibited with my mom and my ds knows and trusts her.
So anyways my mom and I were talking today on the phone. She and my dad will be here Saturday for a week long visit. I happen to mention how we're preparing Jake for the birth and told her to warn my dad. I could just see my dad picking up the "Welcome with Love" book and starting to read it and getting really uncomfortable (my dad is kind of stodgy to say the least, esp when it comes to nakedness). So my mom starts going on and on about how it's not healthy for a 3 yr old to be there, it's going to traumatize him, etc etc.
: Personally I think he'll do just fine. He says he wants to be here and he understands I may be loud/cry/yell but that it's ok.
THEN she tells me I'm going to scare him by screaming and yelling. I tell her I probably won't and mention I didn't when I gave birth last time. And she says, "yeah but you had drugs." I remind her that yes I had an epidural but "it didn't work, not even a tiny little bit." and do you know what she says???! She says, "you know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe your memory is a little off." Um hello, I think I would REMEMBER if my freaking epidural worked or not! Just because I internalize pain doesn't mean I'm not feeling it!!
It gets even worse: She then goes on to say that I do not understand "what I am in for" by laboring/birthing at home without any medication. I told her, "that's right, it's going to be a LOT easier!"
Let me tell you girls a little bit about my first birth in a nutshell: Hospital birth. I was a sheeple at the time. Doctor offered elective induction at 39 weeks and I took it. I was not dialated, no effacement at all. OB didn't use a cervical ripener, just went straight to the pit. I had a pit drip, an antibiotic drop for my GBS, the blood pressure cuff, and the baby monitor and contraction monitors strapped to me. It took like 3 people just for me to roll over in bed. So I didn't I stayed on my back for 12 hours. It took 8 hours before any contractions started. When they did the nurses didn't believe me. The monitors weren't picking it up. So they kept turning up the pit saying it wasn't working. I was writhing in pain and crying for my epidural. They laughed at me and said I was barely doing anything. By this time I was ABOVE the max dosage for pitocin. Finally I felt like I had to push and told them, they freaked out and got my epidural right away. It didn't work. I pushed for 2 hours since ds was posterior. I had a 2nd degree tear and the OB didn't numb be to stitch it because "I was numb." No it was worse pain than labor but they didn't believe me because after all I had an epidural @@
I'm sorry but I truly believe that there is no possible way that this homebirth could be worse or harder than that. There is just no way that being pit induced, no epidural, and flat on my back is going to be EASIER than my home water birth that I have planned.
I don't know what to do about my mom. She says she supports me and won't be stressing out during the labor and birth. But then she says something like this (really the first time she's ever said something like this regarding the homebirth) and I don't know what to think. I'm really not comfortable with someone else here for ds and I really do feel like we need someone here just for him. I just had to rant about it all. It is all just really ticking me off.
So anyways my mom and I were talking today on the phone. She and my dad will be here Saturday for a week long visit. I happen to mention how we're preparing Jake for the birth and told her to warn my dad. I could just see my dad picking up the "Welcome with Love" book and starting to read it and getting really uncomfortable (my dad is kind of stodgy to say the least, esp when it comes to nakedness). So my mom starts going on and on about how it's not healthy for a 3 yr old to be there, it's going to traumatize him, etc etc.
: Personally I think he'll do just fine. He says he wants to be here and he understands I may be loud/cry/yell but that it's ok.THEN she tells me I'm going to scare him by screaming and yelling. I tell her I probably won't and mention I didn't when I gave birth last time. And she says, "yeah but you had drugs." I remind her that yes I had an epidural but "it didn't work, not even a tiny little bit." and do you know what she says???! She says, "you know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe your memory is a little off." Um hello, I think I would REMEMBER if my freaking epidural worked or not! Just because I internalize pain doesn't mean I'm not feeling it!!
It gets even worse: She then goes on to say that I do not understand "what I am in for" by laboring/birthing at home without any medication. I told her, "that's right, it's going to be a LOT easier!"
Let me tell you girls a little bit about my first birth in a nutshell: Hospital birth. I was a sheeple at the time. Doctor offered elective induction at 39 weeks and I took it. I was not dialated, no effacement at all. OB didn't use a cervical ripener, just went straight to the pit. I had a pit drip, an antibiotic drop for my GBS, the blood pressure cuff, and the baby monitor and contraction monitors strapped to me. It took like 3 people just for me to roll over in bed. So I didn't I stayed on my back for 12 hours. It took 8 hours before any contractions started. When they did the nurses didn't believe me. The monitors weren't picking it up. So they kept turning up the pit saying it wasn't working. I was writhing in pain and crying for my epidural. They laughed at me and said I was barely doing anything. By this time I was ABOVE the max dosage for pitocin. Finally I felt like I had to push and told them, they freaked out and got my epidural right away. It didn't work. I pushed for 2 hours since ds was posterior. I had a 2nd degree tear and the OB didn't numb be to stitch it because "I was numb." No it was worse pain than labor but they didn't believe me because after all I had an epidural @@
I'm sorry but I truly believe that there is no possible way that this homebirth could be worse or harder than that. There is just no way that being pit induced, no epidural, and flat on my back is going to be EASIER than my home water birth that I have planned.
I don't know what to do about my mom. She says she supports me and won't be stressing out during the labor and birth. But then she says something like this (really the first time she's ever said something like this regarding the homebirth) and I don't know what to think. I'm really not comfortable with someone else here for ds and I really do feel like we need someone here just for him. I just had to rant about it all. It is all just really ticking me off.
Your first birth sounds like my first birth, they kept jacking up the pic drip and then oh no dilation so back down then jacked up again. 4 times! It was horrible and I truly believe with a pic drip not having an epidural is inhumane and sadistic! 
I know you can do this! Trust your self!
