Anyone's DH driving them crazy?

[JamesMama]

I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for hours.

Well Tuesday night he was 'on-call' (he's an EMT/FF) so he was gone half the night. Last night he was outside all night putting his blue light in. And right now he's at a fire department meeting. I can't really sleep at night cuz of James, plus I'm up half the night going to the bathroom.

I tried to sleep when he got home but he had to take a shower, then he had to get ready to be on call...so I got like 30 minutes to sleep and even then he wasn't keeping James from JUMPING ON ME! HELLO!! I'm PREGNANT! I can't have a 28lb kid jumping on my stomach. :

I'm so tired...

[Apryl Srissa]

I sympathize like you can't imagine! My dh works nights. He sleeps part evening and part morning. I've got a three year old who didn't sleep, so I stopped sleeping just before was born in 12/03, by the time he was sleeping, Hunter had arrived, and he still doesn't sleep. On dh's one night a week he's off, he is so unused to it he never even hears them unless somethings wrong. The couple times he's tried to get Hunter, Hunter didn't want him even. So the only good sleep I seem to get in Sunday mornings, he gets up with the kids and I get to sleep as late as I want, but being a late sleeper whose always hungry, its not that late.

I've been tired most of the last 6 months, and was just starting to catch up. And now, I feel wiped. Maybe we should hide somewhere to nap? Basement maybe

[Momma Aimee]

i understand

Theo has slept like CRAP the last tow night -- worse than i remember since he was lik 8 mohtns old. wake 45 minutes, asleep 20. He won't accept DH -- course DH doesn't TRY.

Last night i didn't even GET him to bed till 11:45. then DH's alram goes off at 5:15 (DH went to bed and asleep before 10) and he hits the darn snooze and by the 2nd time Theo is up trying to crawl off the bed........... great we usally sleep to 6:30, 7 is i aam REALLY lucky

then DH came home early due to weare to "work from home" so he sat in teh recline -- in front of the TV -- with a lap top all day. Theo freaked 1. daddy was home, wanted daddy, 2. wanted lap top....so i had a screaming kid all day and DH won't help (says he can't comfort DS, he wants you) and only 1, not 2 naps, and only 45 minutes......

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhh

and DH is cluless

[Apryl Srissa]

My dh has had an issue that the little ones don't want him when they are hurt or upset. It's not like I blame them, he is working two jobs, and really great at playing with them, but not here for the owies and snuggles. Sadly, a week or two ago, when one of them got hurt, and I was upstairs, they wanted my oldest to kiss it instead of daddy. That really sunk it in for him, so he has made an effort to be more than just fun, but still, its on his terms, when he wants to, not at 3 am, while the lil guys jumping and being 'cute' yet again

[StacieM]

Not exactly the same way, but the other night he was giving me stress. Right now I can't even remember what that was about. Then tonight, we have a nice dinner out with the kids. On the way home, one minute he's thanking me for a nice dinner, then next he's criticizing something. I apologize because I didn't realize I had done/not done what I did and I didn't know what else to say. Then he keeps going on and on about how this always happens and blah, blah, blah...so I let him vent and don't say anything. Then he starts saying I'm ignoring him. Ughh....I wasn't ignoring him, I just had nothing else to say, I said sorry, there really was no excuse, no "reasoning" - just one of those misunderstandings. Anyway, he just kept going and going and finally I snapped. I was yelling at him and when we finally got home (really not that long, only about 5 minutes), but then I was really pi**ed. Yelling right in his face, swearing, the whole 9 yards. I rarely swear and I really don't like to have a loud, dumb argument in front of the kids, but man was I mad.

Must be hormones because I usually don't get that worked up about something unless it's really something to get worked up about. Normally, I'm also able to be reasonable enough to not say things I don't mean and really talk about stuff so that each person feels their side is stated and understood and we can apologize etc and be done with it. I don't even know how this escalated so much and so fast. *sigh* I'm just chalking it up to hormones. On top of that it's been a very busy, very hectic week, and I'm tired and DH KNOW THIS.

Okay - thanks for letting me vent. Feel better now.

[StacieM]

Originally Posted by Aimee21972

He won't accept DH -- course DH doesn't TRY.

Yeah - then they grumble, how come baby doesn't want me/like me, only you? Hello - because I am here day in and day out 24/7 when I want to and when I don't want to, I am HERE. DH's for some reason think they can give time when they feel like it and expect the kids to be all ready and willing then. Hey - what about all the other times when they kids are ready to go play with you and you want to relax or watch tv instead 'cuz you're tired from work. If you can pick and choose when you give them attention, don't think they are going to give you what you want all the time. They'll pick and choose right back.

Funny though, with my son, DH tried a lot more and a lot longer than with the girls. He wasn't discouraged when he was little and would cry, he just kept trying like he knew what he was doing would work and eventually it did. But they have to put in that time and effort all the time.

[*Lindsey*]

I'm just crabby. I should be HAPPY! But hormones at the beginning always make me crabby and tired. DH asked yesterday, "Why do you always hate me when you're pregnant?" It's not really funny and makes me feel horrible, I should be in a great mood and be grateful to be so blessed again!

[monocyte]

Crabby here as well. DH is just annoying me...I don't know why (ok, I do... )

I worked last night and spent the day running DS to school, to the doctors for me, to the market...etc. And, when I came home from work last night the house was a DISASTER, and he's on the couch watch tv. GRRRR. I was so upset as Im heading out the door early today, not to return til 8 pm. And you think he could have cleaned up for me a bit.

[JamesMama]

DH stayed home today, but of course he thinks he's going to be oncall for the FD for car wrecks and stuff...he's cleaning the house today though, he just doesn't realize it yet. And I'm going to work fantasticlly hard making sure the sofa doesn't run away

[Apryl Srissa]

Originally Posted by JamesMama

DH stayed home today, but of course he thinks he's going to be oncall for the FD for car wrecks and stuff...he's cleaning the house today though, he just doesn't realize it yet. And I'm going to work fantasticlly hard making sure the sofa doesn't run away

I love that plan! Mine is getting some car stuff done, then we have to go find a new used washer that is affordable, this is a bad week for car issues to use the money I needed for that, but it just can't wait two weeks for there to be more available, 5 people wear a lot of clothes

So he's going to be pulling out the old washer, and bring in a new one. I'm sure I'll 'help', but I'm much better at directing than he is

[Momma Aimee]

It's not like I blame them,

I DO blame him and it makes me very MAD -- he has been a parent the excate same amount of time I have been.

DH's for some reason think they can give time when they feel like it and expect the kids to be all ready and willing then.

I do ALL the child care, save one hour a day on teh weekedays -- and on weekends I STILL do most of it.

DH canges one dipaer a week, maybe.

no bathes -- EVER

no changeing clothes -- once a month, maaaaybe then i have to get the clothes out for him

ect

I am tried and every time i say it he says "I am tired too"

right now -- snow day -- he said he'd stay home and help me get ready for the partys Sunday -- I have the tot with me -- he is sittig in the relciner, with a blanet, watching tv...................

[JamesMama]

Aimee ((hugs))

DH is a bit better than that, except when he dresses DS I have to pick out the clothes, he's incapable of getting a shirt and pair of pants out of the closet...as if it's so difficult??

*sigh* he's being semi-helpful today, although our dishwasher is on the blink so he's going to spend the next 4 hours doing dishes, never in my life have I met a person that takes as long doing dishes as he does. I'm half tempted to just throw the dishes in the dishwasher and hope and pray it gets them clean.

[Momma Aimee]

this mornign
DH say "i will helpw ith Theo so you can get ready for the party -- i know you have stuff you want to do"

ok he watched TV till 10:30

now he is F-ing around in the garge cuz we need a new bench by the front door for the party ---

uh we need a clean kitchen, and bathroom for the party......... the bench, nice idea...but NOT NECESSARY.

he also asked if i wanted him to put up more shelves in teh lkaundry rom -- YES but NOT TODAY -- i want him to clean, or to play with DS so I can.......

and anyway --= when he does play with DShe doesn't kkeep DS from chaseing me (and the chemicals) and makes me the bad person chaseing him off "well he wants his momma"

dh is the kind of guy -- you have compnay in 30 minutes -- you have QUICK hide the mess, and you find him putting the books on teh book shelf in alph order wheile the old pizza box siton on the sofa.............ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh

it always annoys me but i am already nesting and it is killing me..............

better than last time -- we were living in this house -- bulding it arround us --- when pg with DS -- livied on sub floor till i was 5 month pg..............that way a test beyond all others

A

[StacieM]

My DH doesn't really do pampers either. I don't mind. I've accepted it, so now when he does it it's like, ooh bonus. I'm totally fine with taking care of them now if he takes over when they are teens. lol

Anyway - DH will tell me, okay mom them are coming over. I tell him fine, then everyone needs to help clean up (not hide mess).

I have to admit, he's gotten a lot better over the course of 10 years and 4 kids. After last night's blow up I ended up getting a full body massage which was really, really nice. So, like I said, he's learning....

[JamesMama]

My DH does this passive agressive thing that he swears isn't passive agressive...like he'll be doing something and say "I'm hungry but I gotta do the dishes/take care of James/fold laundry/whatever." I'll say "then eat quick." and he'll say "No, I have to do such-and-such...it's just that my bloodsugar is low and yadda yadda yadda." GAH!!!

Today it's "Well, I have to do such and such before I'm on call" YES he's on call AGAIN!!!! and then gripes because he's hungry or whatever.

[Momma Aimee]

"I'm hungry but I gotta do the dishes/take care of James/fold laundry/whatever."

this is me but say it TO POINT OUT ALL I HAVE TO DO -- hoeping, false hope, DH will say "no you eat, i will swtich over the laundry for you"

nope -- just sits in front of the tv (where is he now, again)

A

[sorteep]

my DH is shifting between snappy/ crabby, depressed and sleeping.. he FIRMLY did/does? NOT want any more kids (our son together is autistic and I am 42...) so he just thinks it is a bad odds / genetic deal.. This is NOT helping my stress levels, not to mention I run my own business and work 8:30 to 8 pm and it is VERY physical (manipulating chiropractor) DH is a work part time from home Dad so he does a lot of child care/ food. laundry/ cleaning etc.. since I am the bread winner he is FREAKING because being pg/ nursing etc (I am solo doc) it will take a big toll on my practice for at least three or four months (and that's if I have no complications and can work until delivery like last time) so he is a WRECK, I am trying to be positive, which is really hard with him NOT.. I guess since we had SUCH an impossible time with Evan he does not know anything else and is thinking it will be another horrific experience.. I have a 16 yr old from 1st marriage so I know it isn't always a nighmare.. on a positive note, Evan is now six and recovering nicely (thanks to biomedical txp) but the first four yrs were a living Hell (really) sorry long off tangent vent, I ma just a wreck about this whole thing B/C I am SO scared of an early MC or sig genitic prob that I am terrified to let myself be happy KWIM?
Laura (I'm usually more stable than this! must be hormones!)

[Apryl Srissa]

I can really oddly say that I don't feel like smacking my hubby today. He was snotty most of yesterday, and part of today, but due to stress. Our van didnt' pass the safety inspection, and we really couldn't afford it. But by the time it was all resolved today, and we were driving around looking at houses, then got my new used washer, he was better. So for once I don't get to complain

Hope all your hubbys get it in gear for the weekend and you guys get a break!

[Momma Aimee]

come on MONDAY and let the SNOW MELT

A