What Are Your Thoughts On Allowance Money?

[karina5]

My son is still little, so this isn't an issue for me, yet, but I am feeling mixed. I am certainly going to expect that my son do some "chores" (not a fan of that word) as he is part of the household. We *all* need to work together as a family, etc..

But as far as getting a monetary reward....I can't put my finger on why, but I feel really mixed.

I will say that I do NOT like the thought of giving money for good grades. Whether he is homeschooled or traditional schooled (we are really weighing so many options), I must say that I am against this. I want him to feel reward in doing a good job, and not be so focused on money.

On the flipside, most kids do want to buy themselves *some* little things here and there, and that's when I think maybe allowance $ isn't all bad. :

Thoughts??

[greenhaven]

I think all kids should be required to help around the house, because we all have a responsibility to our "community," however big it may be, simply because we live there. Your youngster will not understand that all right away.

Our teens are not paid for their regular chores, their assigned duties. But we do give them something, sometimes, for going above and beyond the call of duty. For instance, when we moved into this house in late December of last year, hubby installed a radiant heat system beneath the bedrooms and bathroom. He had the boys down there drilling holes, running tubing, splicing connections, insulating pipes, etc. They learned some valuable things and got to spend some REAL quality time with their dad, but he took it a step further and paid for a year-long membership to a game board they had been asking for because they worked so hard and so willingly. It was his way of recognizing that we DO value them as members of the household and they are not just "slave labor" to us.

We also pay them for their grades...I know some will disagree, but it won't change our minds. We pay them on a sliding scale, so-to-speak. The harder they work and the better they do, the better the reward, and that is the ultimate point, not the payment alone. After all, that is typically the way the world works, too.
One boy brings home straight A's with little effort, and the other is just as capable, but has issues. So if we see him working extra diligently he will sometimes get the "all A" extra reward (or a portion) just to acknowledge his hard work.

The older they get the more they are expected to pay for their own extra-stuff like entertainment, "toys," etc. That's real life, too...spend all your money on a router and you may not have enough to go out to eat with your friends!

[greenhaven]

P.S., that wasn't very "quick for a "quick reply, was it?"

But there is another factor, too. When they were younger they would get a regular weekly allowance, fifty cents for each year of their age, and they were required to put half of it in the bank. Now that they are capable of actual work-for-pay we don't give them a set allowance....but we do pay outright for some of their entertainment needs, like out to eat with a friend, or a movie, etc. Just all in moderation!

[RBinTEX]

My kids end up with quite a bit of money not even counting allowance. We've got a large family that gives money as gifts at Christmas and birthdays. It's been really interesting to see what they do with the money. Sometimes they blow it all and regret it. Sometimes they save for something special. Sometimes they can hold on to it a really long time, just spending a bit here and there. They've even pooled their money to buy big ticket items to share. I think it has been good for them to have this cash to spend as they decide. They've learned a lot about budgeting.

We don't tie allowance to chores. Chores are just part of living in this house. You don't get paid for them. I started giving allowances when I got fed up with the crappy school lunches. My kids wanted to buy their lunches everyday, and the food there is not very healthy. I started giving each of them ten dollars a week. I told them they could keep the money, or buy lunch with it. They all started making their lunches!

Now I'm trying to decide what to do about my high schooler, who gets his learners permit this spring. I want him to get some little job over the summer to help pay for gas, insurance, etc. Should I set a dollar amount for him to contribute, or should I ask for a percentage of his earnings? (Ain't no way he'll come close to paying for it all!)

[Storm Bride]

DS1 gets an allowance. We've set it up so his bank account is tied to my bank card, so I transfer his allowance directly into his account. He gets his own statements, and tracks what he has.

DS1 has chores. He's simply expected to do them, and they don't tie into his allowance at all. His allowance isn't a reward for doing his share. His allowance is also not tied to his grades.

I like him to have an allowance, because I want him to learn about the value of money, and how save for big purchases, instead of just blowing everything on trinkets. Right now, he's saving for a Wii.

[Aliviasmom]

When I was a teen, I got $1 a day (on school days or days during the summer that my mom worked). This gave us a little something extra to spend if we wanted to get a treat after school, or enough that we could save up to buy something bigger.

My mom also paid for just about everything we ever needed. However, if we needed a new pair of pants or whatever, and she only wanted to spend $X, then we would have to pay the difference if we wanted something more expensive. This definitely made me think differently about spending my money!

[halfpintwil]

We have never done an allowance and our children have always been required to do certain chores and occasional house and yard cleanup days. However, for extra things we will pay them a set rate, and this is one way they can earn extra money. The most common things they'll do is clean out the refrigerator, clean windows, or clean out the garage or basement. Often they will come to us with suggestions for what they can earn money for, and we try to pay them a fair rate.
Dawn

[Suzukimom]

When our kids we elementary age, they got a moderate allowance which covered things like snacks. They would save it and buy birthday/Christmas gifts.

Over the last few years we've been steadily increasing their allowance and they are now getting $10 a week. They are expected to pay for all their entertainment - going to see a movie or any music downloads, for example. If they are invited to a birthday party, they purchase the gift.
They also give 10% to the church.

Like Greenhaven, we don't link the allowance to jobs they do around the house but the can earn extra money for doing special jobs.
If they neglect doing a job, they will need to pay the person who did they job for them.
Carol

[ahisma]

My DD does not get paid for chores, I don't want her to start asking for money everytime I ask for her assistance.

She is still young, 8, and gets $3 a week. That was my DH's decision...I was going to go higher, but they had already made the arrangements.

She has decided to save it all, except $1 per week which goes to church. It has been very interesting to see the evolution of things that she is saving for. So far though, nothing has motivated her to withdraw her savings.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by RBinTEX

We don't tie allowance to chores. Chores are just part of living in this house. You don't get paid for them. I started giving allowances when I got fed up with the crappy school lunches. My kids wanted to buy their lunches everyday, and the food there is not very healthy. I started giving each of them ten dollars a week. I told them they could keep the money, or buy lunch with it. They all started making their lunches!

My mother did the exact same thing!

she also charged me each time I used the car - $3 to go to the mall; $2 to go to my job...

[love2all]

I did not get allowance and neither do my kids.
If they need money for something they get it.
They help around the house because here that is what family does.
I cannot afford some of the allowance standards I hear of today- with three kids we'd be broke!!!!
I don't know if I will renegotiate all this when the kids are teens- seems like I might have to rethink some things...

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Suzukimom

Like Greenhaven, we don't link the allowance to jobs they do around the house but the can earn extra money for doing special jobs.

I was thinking we didn't do this, but we do. DS1 earns extra money by babysitting...but not always. If we need him to watch the kids for something relating to dh's work or an urgent family errand, he generally doesn't get paid (these are usually short periods). However, we pay him if he babysits while we're out on a date or anything like that.

[greenhaven]

Originally Posted by ASusan

she also charged me each time I used the car - $3 to go to the mall; $2 to go to my job...

Okay, this is where my husband and I still scratch our heads. DS1 has no job yet. He doesn't use the car for much except going to school, but when he does want to go to friends, it is a hike to anywhere because we are pretty rural.

We cannot decide on guidelines as to how much contribution he should be making to gas and insurance. And only over Christmas vacation was he wanting to be driving here and there all the time. BUT, we were also moving and his driving a vehicle back and forth between places and helping us move was a tremendous help...so we never said too much.....just made sure he understood that the way things were during vacation was an exception, and definitely not the rule.
(Or right! )

[philomom]

My kids get a "just because" allowance. I want them to learn to spend and learn to save. Everyone who lives in the house contributes to its care. Even my highly paid dh can be found doing the dishes some nights if I have PTA meeting or something going on.

[wombatclay]

This is the system my family had growing up, and the one I plan on "using":

--My sibs and I were expected to do a certain amount of housework/helping out/etc as a normal part of life. We didn't get "paid" for it outside of having a clean house, food on the table, a happy pet, a tidy yard, good grades, etc.

--When and if we wanted something we asked our parents. If the item was considered a "need" (say, blue jeans for school) then my folks would find out the price for the generic version of that item and offer us "X" amount to purchase it. So, for example, they might offer 15 dollars for a pair of jeans at Kmart. If we really wanted the 30 dollar pair of jeans we had to find the "extra" money ourselves.

--How? Some jobs around the house did come with a financial incentive. Weeding the garden might be an unpaid chore, but hauling rocks from the back field to expand the "usable" yard came with a wage. Cleaning the bathroom was an unpaid chore, but cleaning the attic came with a financial bonus. So we could earn money by taking on more of the "unpleasant" jobs around the house. We could also economize. Back to those 15 dollars pants...if we decided that pants weren't really "all that" and we'd rather have the cash we could go to a thrift store and buy a 5 dollar pair of jeans and have the "extra" 10 dollars for whatever we wanted.

It was a good system in my mind since it included work as part of "what you do" as a member of a family, it made sure everyone's needs were met while still providing flexibility and pocket money, and it made us really think about HOW we wanted to spend "our" money...were those pants worth 3 hours hauling rocks or was generic okay? Was having money for the latest cd more important than buying pants off the rack? Etc.

[greenhaven]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

This is the system my family had growing up, and the one I plan on "using":

--My sibs and I were expected to do a certain amount of housework/helping out/etc as a normal part of life. We didn't get "paid" for it outside of having a clean house, food on the table, a happy pet, a tidy yard, good grades, etc.

--When and if we wanted something we asked our parents. If the item was considered a "need" (say, blue jeans for school) then my folks would find out the price for the generic version of that item and offer us "X" amount to purchase it. So, for example, they might offer 15 dollars for a pair of jeans at Kmart. If we really wanted the 30 dollar pair of jeans we had to find the "extra" money ourselves.

--How? Some jobs around the house did come with a financial incentive. Weeding the garden might be an unpaid chore, but hauling rocks from the back field to expand the "usable" yard came with a wage. Cleaning the bathroom was an unpaid chore, but cleaning the attic came with a financial bonus. So we could earn money by taking on more of the "unpleasant" jobs around the house. We could also economize. Back to those 15 dollars pants...if we decided that pants weren't really "all that" and we'd rather have the cash we could go to a thrift store and buy a 5 dollar pair of jeans and have the "extra" 10 dollars for whatever we wanted.

It was a good system in my mind since it included work as part of "what you do" as a member of a family, it made sure everyone's needs were met while still providing flexibility and pocket money, and it made us really think about HOW we wanted to spend "our" money...were those pants worth 3 hours hauling rocks or was generic okay? Was having money for the latest cd more important than buying pants off the rack? Etc.

Bravo, the whole dang thing!!

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

This is the system my family had growing up, and the one I plan on "using":

--When and if we wanted something we asked our parents. If the item was considered a "need" (say, blue jeans for school) then my folks would find out the price for the generic version of that item and offer us "X" amount to purchase it. So, for example, they might offer 15 dollars for a pair of jeans at Kmart. If we really wanted the 30 dollar pair of jeans we had to find the "extra" money ourselves.

Wombatclay, that's *exactly* what my parents did! They figured out what they would pay for things like jeans and t-shirts and let my sister and I pay the difference when we wanted nicer/pricier things. So if my sister wanted the $120.00 Doc Martin boots, she'd have to pay maybe 85-90 dollars because Mom and Dad thought that 30 dollars was reasonable for shoes.

As to the original question, I'm in complete agreement that kids shouldn't get paid money for doing "chores" (also hate word!) around the house. Because anyone living in a household needs to chip in and contribute. I'm 26 now and nobody's paying me 2 bucks to do the dishes...

Is there any reason you can't separate the allowance money from household work? Like say, "because you live in this house and are a part of this family, you will do x, y, and z just as the rest of us do" and not make the allowance part of it?

[wombatclay]

she'd have to pay maybe 85-90 dollars because Mom and Dad thought that 30 dollars was reasonable for shoes

Seems to have been a pretty common approach! I wonder if some parenting book of the era had that as the "golden rule" or something? It really did make my sibs and I pay attention to economics though...which has helped shape our adult attitudes towards money and "product value".

I agree that the allowance should be seperate from routine household duties, but I also feel like it shouldn't be "free" money. I guess the trick is finding the balance that works best for your family...

[fierymyst]

I have an allowance in my household recently to teach my girls about money. They are older but I wish I had come up with this idea when they were younger.

I give them $5 a week in $1 bills, they have 3 different containers, One is marked Savings, one is marked Spending, the other is marked Charity. They have to put $1 in each of Savings and Charity each week and then choose how to divide up the other $3. The Charity will be decided from a local charity, whether donating to their local church afterschool program, the local humane shelters or a private animal shelter, their school, or anything else local they can find. I have had them research this and see what they like. This way the money stays in the area and I know that it is used properly! Also they see the point of giving to something that means something to them.

A lot of times the girls (especially my older daughter) chooses to donate more to charity then expected. They have really surprised me with their choices.

After so long we put the money in bank accounts for them. The Savings jar is for large purchases that we discuss. Such as gameboy games or such. We discuss the purchase, how much it is going to cost and how long it will take.

The spending money they can spend anytime.

The allowance is not tied to chores, but they do have chores and if they don't do them then they can lose the allowance as one punishment. They also can do some jobs for extra money that I wouldn't normally have them do.

[duckling]

Originally Posted by RBinTEX

Now I'm trying to decide what to do about my high schooler, who gets his learners permit this spring. I want him to get some little job over the summer to help pay for gas, insurance, etc. Should I set a dollar amount for him to contribute, or should I ask for a percentage of his earnings? (Ain't no way he'll come close to paying for it all!)

Sorry to be a bit OT, but the car/driving/insurance thing happened in my recent past, so I'll comment. (I'm just shy of 19, so this is relatively current.)

I got my license about 6 months after my 16th birthday. My parents agreed to pay for my insurance, and I received 40 dollars a week for allowance. (I also had household chores that I was expected to do.) That money was to cover gas for the car my mother and I shared, entertainment, meals out, etc, with the understanding that I could take a job if I wanted more. I paid for 1/4 of the cost of the car I received for my 17th birthday, which allowed me to take a full-time job in the summer. I worked up to two part-time jobs the following school year, which gave me more than ample spending money. I thought it was a great system--when I wasn't working (between jobs, taking time off around finals, etc) I had enough money to put gas in my car and go out maybe twice for cheap dinner with friends; but when I was working, I was able to afford to do things I wanted, save money, etc.

Point being, in a long-winded way, that I think an older teen should have an allowance that (within your means) allows some bare minimum of purchasing power. I learned a lot working and having money to spend without having to totally support myself. I felt much more prepared when I moved out and had to pay rent, bills, etc. (Granted, I'm perpetually broke, but I'm pretty sure that's a requirement to get a college degree...)