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What stops you from having a neat house? - Page 4

post #61 of 119
Mdc.
post #62 of 119
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post #63 of 119
Gosh, I guess I would be the one mom to take this the wrong way. I'll spare you the details of my current situation or the steps I have take to try to get my house and keep my house in better shape. I just wish you would have spared me the, "my mom could keep her house clean and so could I, why can't you?".

I come to this forum for inspiration and ideas, not shaming.

~Tracy
post #64 of 119
This has always been a struggle for me.

Part of it is we have so much stuff, and this house has no storage, so it winds up in stacks all over the place.
Part of it is that I would so much rather be doing ANYTHING than cleaning.
Part of it is that growing up we had a housekeeper who did all of the cleaning for us, so I never had to learn to do it myself.
Part of it is that contemplating the mess is just so daunting. I know everyone says to pick one spot and clean that, but what do you do with the 20 things in that spot that don't have a home? They just wind up in the next spot, and the next, and the next, and never get dealt with.
Part of it is the feeling that just because someone gave us something, we have to hang on to it, even if it's something hideous. Or the feeling that it may not be useful now but at some point it might be...
And part of it is that when I do get the motivation to get off my butt and clean, I can burn myself out in 2 hours of doing something so obscure (whatever was bugging me) that DH can't even tell I did anything, and I wind up exhausted and discouraged.

And I HATE cleaning alone.
post #65 of 119
Thread Starter 
Tracy-So sorry you are offended. I could go through the boards looking for threads that offend me and find them. However I choose not to be that easily offended. I hope you read the entire post where I stated the thread was not intended to be judgmental. And for the record, my mother was a single mother in the 70's who got zero ZERO financial or emotional or physical help from anyone, bought a home, worked 2-3 jobs to support us and managed to maintain an orderly home. It was a statement of pride in regards to my mother, who worked her butt off and overcome her situation. Not to offend anyone. And yes I maintain a clean home because I figure if she could do it going thru what she did I can do it.
post #66 of 119
Hurricane Holden (13mo old) keeps me from having a neat house, that's what! Before he was born, my home was a museum. It was not kid-friendly at all and I liked it that way. We never had to entertain our friends with kids since they were even more paranoid than I was about something breaking or getting ruined by grape juice.

I do pick up his toys while he's napping or as soon as he goes to bed at night. I can't stand to see all the clutter unless it's in use at the time. Now that he's a little more independent and doesn't need me to play with him his every waking moment, I do manage to keep the place clean, just not always as tidy as I'd like.

I also have to admit that I just don't care as much anymore. I have other priorities.
post #67 of 119
i may have already said this before and even if *i* didn't someone probably already did, but i want to reiterate, after reading the last few posts.....

you know........... being able to maintain a relatively orderly home is a source of pride for me too. :


i'm a single mother, i work, i go to school, and i'm raising two kids all on my own with no child support or involvement from their father whatsoever, and i juggle a lot of other life issues (with regard to our health, primarily, but also court issues, etc)... and being able to come home to a (relatively! ) neat and orderly home makes me very, very happy and content. it can totally turn my day around, coming home to a place of calm and ... Zen.

YES it's a struggle, and it's never easy, *but* ..... i think it's worth it.

when i see chaos around our home, i literally have panic attacks now. i just can't deal with it, and i don't think my kids should be forced to either.
post #68 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaof3boz View Post
Don't get me wrong I am not saying the right after having a new baby you should have a neat/clean house. NO WAY. Trust me, I went WOHM 5 weeks after 1st child, and 6 weeks after second (and a csection to boot) and 6 weeks after third. I felt like getting myself out of bed and to work after being up at night was a feat in itself. I am talking more like once they are sleeping at night, napping during the day. I am not talking about pristine, museum houses, with no toys etc to be seen. I am talking about dirty floors, tubs needing scrubbing, piles of laundry. That sort of thing. How long does it really take to mop a floor? Or scrub a tub? Not long. If those basic things aren't getting done it would seem there is an underlying problem.
Sometimes I spend time online I should be throwing in a load of laundry or sweeping the floor. Yes this is important to me, but after taking the poll on how long you spend online a day 2 hours seem HUGE. That was more what I was getting at. Is it because of poor time management? Is it lack of concern? Family history? My house is actually clean and mostly neat. The typical toys, afghans on couch, socks on the floor to me are normal. Just interested in your thoughts. This is not a judgemental thing AT ALL!!!
But that isn't what your post title asks. You're asking about having a "neat" house, not a "clean" house. I maintain a clean house. Dishes done and put away, no gruck in the bathroom, dirty laundry kept in one place and done regularly, no thick coatings of dust or swags of cobwebs, kitty litter scooped daily, spills wiped up.

I do not maintain a neat house. Getting our houses neat and developing strategies and habits for *keeping* them neat or at least at a point where neatness can be obtained in a short period of time, is the point of the "Decluttering, Organizing, & Simplifying" forum.
post #69 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wugmama View Post
Gosh, I guess I would be the one mom to take this the wrong way. I'll spare you the details of my current situation or the steps I have take to try to get my house and keep my house in better shape. I just wish you would have spared me the, "my mom could keep her house clean and so could I, why can't you?".

I come to this forum for inspiration and ideas, not shaming.

~Tracy


Perhaps the OP didn't realize that many on this forum have had their own mothers tell them things like "What's wrong with you, I kept a spotless house while raising three kids, why is yours so messy with only one?"
post #70 of 119
Thread Starter 
Aura-being a momma who used to be a kid just like one of yours my hat is off to you. Looking back now I am amazed how my mom did it all. My mom was a hairdresser, a waitress, laundry lady, you name it. She even picked up walnuts, hundreds of pounds of them, to pay the bills. We had a garden, she canned. I have it so much easier than she did and I appreciate her more everyday because of it.

Now back to the regular thread
post #71 of 119
Thread Starter 
Sapphire-perhaps you could reread as quoted in your own post I said "family history" which is where what you said would fall.

I am sorry a thread that has been going on for sometime is now causing problems when that wasn't the intent as stated many times.

MODS-let's just lock this thread before more feelings get hurt.
post #72 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by doriansmummy View Post
We have a clean house.
But, it would be less cluttered if I did not put emotions on objects.
Like I need to sell my sons toddler bed, he never slept in it but I have a hard time getting rid of it.. why, I dont know?!: And then stuff like his old clothing, toys and all that kind of stuff I dont want to get rid of because I have memories with each thing..

This is SO me! I was like this as a child, and I'm still like this. I remember everything, who gave it to me, how I felt about it, how sad I'll be when they're gone, etc.) I'm emotionally attached to stuffed animals I had as a child. To the kid's baby toys. To stuff I KNOW I shouldn't be keeping, but I do, because emotionally, I can't let it go.

This is where other people helping me declutter comes in. I'm always begging dh to help me get rid of stuff, because he's not attached to anything whatsoever (maybe his sports memorabilia, but it's not like that's in the way,lol). My sister is really good at helping me get rid of stuff too. But there's still more that I am holding on to that I shouldn't be. Ugh.

But anyways, it's all organized in tubs on shelves in the garage. So while my house is clean and organized, I'd have more space if it were gone!

eta...like everyone's at some point or another, there can be times where things just get a mess, like the kids can go nuts pulling toys out in their room, or there can be Mount Laundry in the living room (currently Mount Laundy is residing on the couch next to me,lol), but for the most part, I have to keep the house neat and clean and organized, it's easier to live in that way. We all feel better and it's easier to go out and have fun knowing we come home to an organized house. I grew up in chaos and mess and it drove me nuts.
post #73 of 119
My apologies.

I chose to allow my reaction to a few word choices dictate how I responded.

I'm not sure that Mommaof3boz will ever read this, but I recommend that everyone check out the blog in her signature. It is wonderful and her home is beautiful.
post #74 of 119
Thread Starter 
Sapphire-No offense but just drop it.
post #75 of 119
Ok- didn't read through the whole thread-- just most of the first page and then skipped ahead. My reason-- I never was taught how to fit it into routine.
I think people w/ cleaner houses do it w/o realizing. It just makes sense to them, like if you get it out, then put it away when done.
It has taken me a long time, but I have a few routines down- like doing laundry every day. Flylady.net has helped alot.
My mom is a very clutter person, and so I don't just think of throwing things out either. Also- we have active brains- like the email on Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, where it the person went around the house doing all kinds of things halfway before seeing something else that 'needs' to be done so they go on to the next thing. That is the way my mind works. I have to really focus- ok, I'm here to clean the kitchen counter. I can't stop when I put another dish in the sink and wash them, I can't stop to pay the bill that I had to put on my desk, I can't stop and clean the garage when I am there to put the hammer away, etc.
Some people are just born organized while others have to work at it. I love schedules and lists and all that stuff-- but it takes alot of effort on my part to stick to it.
I am a messy person and I have a hard time keeping my house clean and I have a hard time w/ people who give the excuse it's because of the kids- I had 3 kids in 3 years, but I was messy before them!
I just never learned how to clean as I go, or put it away when done-
Reason for messy house:
I have no cleaning habits.
post #76 of 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wugmama View Post
Gosh, I guess I would be the one mom to take this the wrong way. I'll spare you the details of my current situation or the steps I have take to try to get my house and keep my house in better shape. I just wish you would have spared me the, "my mom could keep her house clean and so could I, why can't you?".

I come to this forum for inspiration and ideas, not shaming.

~Tracy
I don't think you're being too sensitive.. I definitely got that impression,too
post #77 of 119
I guess the reason behind OP was to get a vision of true valid reasons vs. the I just don't want to.
And who is to decide what is a "valid" reason?
I think many times it's a matter of priorities.. If I've had a hectic week, then I'd rather snuggle with baby while she takes her nap. A pile of laundry won't hurt anyone.
post #78 of 119
Thread Starter 
Sapphire-Thank you very much in regards to my blog. I only started last month but am enjoying it a lot. Apology totally accepted and sending a "virtual peace pipe" your way.

My apologies to anyone I offended by my posts because I NEVER intend to hurt anyone's feelings. If you met me IRL you would truely believe that.
post #79 of 119
This is a great question to me, b/c I think taking a hard look at this may provide me with some impetus to correcting the situation.

For example: our LR, DR, and 1st floor bathroom are generally neat...in case we have drop in visitors, who need to visit and use the bathroom.

the kitchen is generally neat...b/c safety is a concern of mine.

OTOH, the room we use as a study/computer room, is a mess, and to no fault of dh's. It's my excuse to testify to the crazy business of my life...as in: look how crazy busy I am that this room is a mess.

My office is much messier than prior to ds' birth. Much b/c my day is so hectic that I don't get a chance to tidy it, but as soon as my "work" is done, I'm out the door so I can see ds.
But actually I spend little snippets of time here and there on the web (and MDC!) when I could be sorting through a few papers right?
So the more I think about this, I think this mess (and I still know and can find whatever i need) declares:
- I'm not 100% my job, just so you know
- i kind of resent that i can't be at home with my ds right now, so this office is slightly messy.

great thread, gives me lots to think about.
post #80 of 119
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