I am so glad I found this thread. I've never posted before so I hope its ok that I just vent here and flat out ask for feedback. This may be a long post.
I just really need to write about this somewhere.
Dh and I got pg from IUI (we had male factor infertility). I was inseminated on 2/3. 2 weeks later, I had a BFP on a home pregnancy test. Then went for my first u/s at 6w1d last Thursday.
The RE could not find a sac. My b/w showed my betas rising as they should, the numbers were good and high, "perfect" as doctor said for 6w...except we had no sac. He believed it was an ectopic. We went in again on Friday for a 2nd u/s and more b/w: same thing. High, "perfect" betas, no sac.
We went in again on Saturday (yesterday) for our last u/s just to "confirm" that there was "nothing there" and then have the methotrexate to abort my supposed ectopic....and....suddenly there's a very tiny sac. I had b/w and once again, the betas had risen to a "wonderful" number. So...no treatment for ectopic obviously.
But the sac was not measuring 6w. The RE did not mention what it WAS measuring. I know I should have asked but dh and I were too shocked to do much more than nod. You can understand what an emotional ride we are on here. We went from "not viable, must terminte" to "maybe but we don't really know what's going on" in one day. Nothing was said about a yolk sac or hb or fetal pole either.
According to the RE, I could have implanted or fertilized late. But how likely is that since we know EXACTLY the date I was inseminated? If I implanted/fertilized late, of course the sac would be "small" cause it wouldn't be 6 weeks.
RE also said the fetus could have some genetic or chromosomal abnormality and I would miscarry on my own or have to come in for a D & C.
So, I'm told: just wait. Every day is going to feel like torture. Every twinge/cramp will make me wonder "is this normal 1st trimester cramping or am I about to miscarry?" I keep thinking: what if the sac/fetus keeps growing but there is something terribly wrong with it and I DON'T miscarry? What then? When will I know if it's viable?
The RE wants us back in on Monday (tomorrow) for another u/s and b/w. Here's the problem: I'm a non-tenured teacher in my tenure year (last year before granting tenure) which is the most important for not being absent. I missed 3 days last week due to bronchitis (could me being sick and not eating or drinking a lot have to do with a small sac?). In addition I came in late quite a few days already because of earlier b/w. My RE's office ONLY does b/w and u/s in the mornings.
I feel like I can't go in late tomorrow for this u/s because it's the weekend and I can't contact anyone to cover my first period class. And I was out sick last Wed-Fri. I'm thinking, is a day going to make much of a difference? If I go in tomorrow and risk my job/health insurance and there IS something wrong, they are not going to do anything about it that day anyway, they will say, "wait and see if you miscarry." If there is nothing wrong, then one day won't make a difference.
I'd like to just go to work tomorrow, talk to my principal, explain the situation and go for the u/s Tuesday.
Then I get racked with guilt and worry. Do I risk my baby or my job? What if going in on Tuesday rather than Monday causes me to lose this baby? What if going in on Monday rather than Tuesday causes me to lose my job and health insurance?
I'm so stressed all I want to do is curl up and sleep.