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"MD says too much in 8 yo dd's physical" - Page 2

post #21 of 69
I would find a new ped.

It seems to me that our ped talks openly to both me and my children, but there's a level of openness and respect between us that "probing" into our family life is unnecessary. And thankfully, our ped is 100% okay with our vax choices.

Also, if there was something amiss in the family life of a patient, I highly doubt that the child will say as much in front of his/her parent.

Last time we went to the ped, he asked my ds if he ate his vegetables. Ds said, "Only with oil and vinegar."
post #22 of 69
Yikes, there are so many inappropriate actions there--pushing the vax, implying multiple sex partners, talking about your family medical history, asking those personal non-medical questions, promoting diet soda...

I can understand asking the safety questions (like about wearing a helmet and not going with strangers), but that other stuff was way out of line!
post #23 of 69
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
For the mother who said that she preferred that the doctor talked to her instead of to her children, I disagree strongly.

That's ok for toddlers and preschoolers. For grade school kids, it's disrespectful and dismissive. You're there to fill in the blanks, but an 8 year old is more than capable of taking part in her own physical.
I feel that I am present at her physical for more than filling in the blanks for my child.

If one could be sure that every single doctor one might come into contact with was our idea of perfect, and that they will stick to just doing a physical, yes, maybe, but they are not all so trustworthy in that regard. Ours thought it was a good idea to bring up sexual activity and the possibility of multiple sex partners and sexually transmitted diseases (without my prior authorization); our family medical history which in this case the MD knew was heavy, to say the least; my second grader going on a diet (she's normal weight, not an ounce of fat on her); and a bunch of surprising, confusing, probing "developmental" questions, like "Do you take showers by yourself?" The look that came over my dd's face told it all: Mommy? wtf?" (my interpretation of the look).

Now, my dd is a pretty savvy child, but, she certainly isn't going to say to a doctor I have brought her to, "I think you are bringing up inappropriate material for me, and I insist that you stop it and stick to the medical exam. My bathing practices are my personal business, and where are you going with this line of questioning, anyway? I just met you today. And by the way, word at the hopscotch is that the guardasil vaccine is just another pharmaceutical company filling their pockets on the taxpayers' backs and the patriarchy trying to poison women's bodies. I'm not buying it. Junie B. Jones isn't getting it, and neither am I. And that's all." (Gotta be a Junie B. Jones reader to get that one.)

That would have been pretty impressive, though. I'm sure it's coming.

VF
post #24 of 69
Ok, that cracked me up

What I meant was, rather than pedi looking over child's head and lecturing mom on the importance of safety seat usage, it makes more sense for me for the ped to say, "So, Junior, tell me about when you ride in the car. Do you have a booster seat?"


I agree that your ped had a terrible bedside manner : I *think* what he was trying to allude to in the "Do you shower alone" was "Do you have appropriate independent hygeine skills for someone your age". But it was a strange way to ask it
post #25 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viewfinder View Post

Now, my dd is a pretty savvy child, but, she certainly isn't going to say to a doctor I have brought her to, "I think you are bringing up inappropriate material for me, and I insist that you stop it and stick to the medical exam. My bathing practices are my personal business, and where are you going with this line of questioning, anyway? I just met you today. And by the way, word at the hopscotch is that the guardasil vaccine is just another pharmaceutical company filling their pockets on the taxpayers' backs and the patriarchy trying to poison women's bodies. I'm not buying it. Junie B. Jones isn't getting it, and neither am I. And that's all." (Gotta be a Junie B. Jones reader to get that one.)

That would have been pretty impressive, though. I'm sure it's coming.

VF
:
post #26 of 69
I think you should write a letter to the dr. explaining that this visit upset you and your daughter, for these reasons, and that you are considering changing doctors to avoid this type of thing in future. Include phone numbers where dr. can contact you to discuss the issue. If she's a good dr. who just had a blundering day, she'll call you and apologize and discuss how to do better and put a note in your file to remind herself. If she doesn't respond, don't go back. I have had very good success with this approach.

About the diet soda, my friend who is a family practice physician is very frustrated over many doctors' attitudes on this issue. Diet soda is NOT good for you! It's just bad in some different ways than sugary soda. A more appropriate response to finding out that a patient drinks soda is to indicate that it should be an occasional treat and to suggest healthy beverages. For a child who is not overweight, the wise alternative would be 100% fruit juice. What's wrong with doctors?! My friend thinks it's a lack of creativity and critical thinking.
post #27 of 69
Yeah, what's with the diet soda thing? That's durned peculiar. I just can't imagine why a ped would suggest ANY kind of soda to a kid. Why not say, "Drink flavored waters instead of soda" or something along those lines?
post #28 of 69


oh no she didn't!!

I'd be looking for a new doctor. This one obviously needs some tweaking.
post #29 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
Yeah, what's with the diet soda thing? That's durned peculiar. I just can't imagine why a ped would suggest ANY kind of soda to a kid. Why not say, "Drink flavored waters instead of soda" or something along those lines?
Didn't you know? Pepsi is GOOD for you!

http://hcrenewal.blogspot.com/2007/0...ith-pepsi.html

Won't be long now before peds are recommending Mountain Dew to help you study for that big spelling test.

Diet Mountain Dew, of course :

Edit: (ASCII doesn't convey my tongue-in-cheekness too well. Don't take me too seriously)
post #30 of 69
Ditto the new dr. I think there is a place for talking to the kids directly- I know my ped asks my son questions to see where he is at developmentally (not that I think you can judge such a thing in a 3 sentence coversation but thats another issue). Also if there IS a problem that could be the childs only opportunity to get help.
However the whole guardasil vax thing was WAY out of line and over the top. So not only would I be switching peds but I would be sending a letter to this one to tell them WHY I left.
post #31 of 69
Isn't it insane? We were just in our ped's office and sure enough-lots of promotional material for it there. My seven year old is very sensitive and doesn't even know what cancer is, let alone STDs-the thought of someone having that conversation with her in a year would blow my mind at the inappropriateness.
post #32 of 69
I haven't read this entire thread (a lot of it though). I think it brings up a lot of questions about the role of a family doctor. I've spent a long time avoiding doctors for what I consider to be very good reasons. In the last year or so we've started taking the kids to the doctor again, as far as I can tell, to waste our time, as well as our money and to totally frustrate me...but that's another story...kind of.

At some point in our culture doctors got labeled as "absolute expert on everything". What exactly about medical school makes qualifies you as a child rearing expert, I'm not sure, but hey, they are the experts and I'm sure they know why.

This also seems to be a new trend. I personally don't remember things always being this way. Now when I take my kids to the doctor I feel like I'm paying someone to pry into our private life, without even so much as consulting me first, and investigate our family, so that we can get his seal of approval that we are, I don't even know what? Allowed to go on living? To continue parenting our children?? I really find it offensive. And I have to pay to get this kind of treatment??

I have to respectfully disagree with the posters who have said that it is a doctor's place. I don't know this man from Adam. For all I know he could be a child molester. I don't know if he has kids at all. How is he suddenly the expert on my kids. Why should he be the one who gets to decide how and when they learn about things and what's appropriate for them?

Anyone who knows anything about homeopathy knows that everything about a person, including moods, likes, dislikes, etc, goes into choosing a remedy. Yet, my homeopath can find the information she needs without being offensive. The ped is basically trying to find incriminating information on us and/or making sure we are not totally stupid, not trying to get an over-all view of the child's whole self in order to help him/her.

I'm to the point where I will go to the doctor on my own terms for the diagnostics that I deem appropriate or for things like broken arms that need to be set and not much else. I really don't need someone to tell me (as an intelligent grown woman) that my baby shouldn't play with electrical cords and small objects. I don't need someone else imposing their moral and philosophical views on us. Nor do I need someone I don't know to teach my young children sex ed, or stranger danger, or the junk to eat that passes for nutrition these days. If I needed that I could send my kids to school and get it for free!
post #33 of 69
Not trying to be snarky, but why was a healthy child taken to the doctor in the first place? We could avoid a lot of these headaches if we'd only take our kids to see doctors when they are sick. AND, there would be less opportunities for doctors to try to sell you things like Gardasil , eventually their sales pitches wouldn't have much pull.
post #34 of 69
What a horrible doctor visit. I would be finding a new doctor ASAP. I can't believe she just launched into the Gardasil spiel like that without even consulting you first! And then probing your DD like some kind of private investigator...how weird and inappropriate. I hope you won't be going back to that doctor.
post #35 of 69
Mama Poot,
I took my seemingly healthy dd to the doc for a check up and found she had a serious heart defect BEFORE it began to really affect her.
post #36 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Not trying to be snarky, but why was a healthy child taken to the doctor in the first place? We could avoid a lot of these headaches if we'd only take our kids to see doctors when they are sick. AND, there would be less opportunities for doctors to try to sell you things like Gardasil , eventually their sales pitches wouldn't have much pull.
In the event of a medical emergency, medical treatment is likely to be more effective if the Dr. already knows your family and your child. Thus, well-child visits. Not to mention preventative health and the chance of catching something earlier rather than later. Same reason that I get an annual pelvic exam, pap and mammogram, YK?

Yes, it sounds like this Dr.'s approach was bad, but I'm not sure that asking the questions and suggesting options was a bad intent. Seems like you could broach Guardasil without going into the sexual connections though. After all, its supposed to prevent disease, not sex.

I know our Ped. will ask questions to judge various developmental things as well as treatment at home, and I don't mind because I think she does it well and with consideration for both parent and child. I appreciate that she gives my 7 YO DS a chance to answer for himself, and then will ask me if I want to add anything to his answer. That feels respectful to both of us. I think its her job to probe for issues that could effect my children's health -- including what they eat and drink, whether they wear protective gear during sports, and what is happening at school. Of course, I expect her suggestions and responses to be medically correct, which Dt. soda certainly isn't. And I expect her to be sensative to my family values, which she should know through conversations during well child visits.
post #37 of 69
moved from Parenting Issues.
post #38 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post
In the event of a medical emergency, medical treatment is likely to be more effective if the Dr. already knows your family and your child. Thus, well-child visits.
Like many ped practices, my practice has a few different doctors and loads of patients. They wouldn't know me from Adam and it doesn't affect the "service" I get. None of them are going to remember you (general you) unless you're one of those parents who call the office and/or bring your kid in for every little thing . . . but then again, that's most parents.

That said, DS#1 hasn't been in for a sick visit in 5-6 years and DS#2 has never been in for a sick visit. I go in for "well" visits for DS#1's football health form and I tell whichever doc I get that I'm not interested in any nutritional, developmental or health advice . . . I just want him to do what he's got to do in order to get the form completed.

I don't need my time wasted with the BS.

As far as the Gardasil talk - get used to it ladies. Pretty soon, they'll be pushing it for your boys too.

Fom the CDC:

*Most HPV infections are asymptomatic, transient, and resolve without treatment.

*Cervical cancer is an uncommon consequence of HPV infection in women, especially if they are screened for cancer regularly with Pap tests and have appropriate follow-up of abnormalities.

*About half of the women in the United States who develop cervical cancer have never had a Pap test



Gardasil VAERS reports: http://www.medalerts.org/vaersdb/fin...O=1&PERPAGE=10


Health officials are now recommending that all girls wait 15 minutes before leaving the doctors office.
post #39 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Not trying to be snarky, but why was a healthy child taken to the doctor in the first place? We could avoid a lot of these headaches if we'd only take our kids to see doctors when they are sick. AND, there would be less opportunities for doctors to try to sell you things like Gardasil , eventually their sales pitches wouldn't have much pull.
This is why I take my child to a naturopathic doctor, because their focus is on preventative healthcare rather than just already sick care.
post #40 of 69
First, the vax question and family medical history were inappropriate, I agree, but I disagree about the 'weird questions'.

Here's why: Besides looking for red flags for abuse, a very real part of why they are asking the questions is to see how the child uses language, answers questions, and uses non-verbal communication (like the look she gave, thinking the questions were a bit over the top, told the doctor that she understood social appropriateness and had awareness that it wasn't something she normally talked about, ect). Questions about bathing and dressing riding bicycles, apart from probing into the lifestyle, also show whether or not motor planning is at an appropriate level.

Kids with some of the ASDs that don't involve language delays (especially Aspergers) are going to struggle with the way they use language (but the fact they do use language 'on time' kept it from being as obvious when they were younger, nor are they going to respond non-verbally as appropriatly. A lot of the ASDs have motor planning issues, so things like being able to get shampoo out of your hair and riding a bike, which are things most kids can do at that age, are going to put up some developmental flags too.

In order to evaluate how a child interacts, they have to interact and talking about what they can/can't do kills two birds with one stone.

dd nak now, i will retun
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