I have to say that if everything that has happened to me has led to the person I am today (and I believe it has) -- a person who is a fantastic, loving, caring, deep, compassionate, empathetic, understanding, funny, smart, talented (I could go on but you get the point
) woman --- then I am grateful for every experience I've had, even the ones from childhood which were abusive and unhappy.
There is nothing *wong* or *right* in belief systems here, and to me everyone is welcome so long as they are respectful!! (imo)
I also believe though that there is a huge difference between attracting and *deserving* which is something I cover a lot on my LOA Primer and will talk about in the seminars and talks I plan to give.
You see to me, *deserving* something (say abuse for example) ties into the belief that something you could have done could have stopped or prevented it -- that you had the power to create in someone else's reality and prevent or stop them from hurting you. I don't believe anyone deserves to be abused no matter what they say or do or don't say or do or behave. I do believe though, in my case
, I attracted my experiences -- or in my Christian belief system -- that God chose to allow me to go through that (I don't believe he MADE it happen to me, as everyone has free will and the people who have hurt me used their free will in those cases) -- because having that experience helped shape who I am today.
As Pat said, I don't neccessarily believe one has to suffer to be a wonderful, compassionate, enlightened person --- but I will say, of all the people I have ever spoken to or have come to know in my life, the ones who did experience suffering of some kind and had learned and had grown as a result of it came across to me
as being more enlightened, compassionate, people....
I mean, we can dissect all day long did we manifest this or that or the other, our childhoods, how did we attract this or that experience, whether we even did or didn't attract or manifest it ---
We are here now. We are all here now, in this life, in this moment, and not one bit of any of our histories can ever be changed. Not one bit of our hurts, our abuse, not one single solitary second of the past is in our power to change, correct, undo....
We are here now.
What is it you are going to do with today and tomorrow?
That question in my humble opinion serves me far, far better than choosing to suffer today just because I suffered then.
Oh and PS: Tara thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share how you feel --- I can speak for myself when I say I've got nothing but love for you and am excited about our friendship continuing to grow closer *hugs* to you