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Is it really so awful I told my DS he could grow up to be a mommy? - Page 6

post #101 of 108
The word "mommy" is just that. It's a word. He can be a mommy a daddy a squirrel, a rabbit... My five year old son wants to be a ballerina. It's all words. Did I tell him that ballerina is a girl ballet dancer? Did I explain that he can't be a girl dancer? I don't really care. He can be anything he so desires. And so can your son. And, quite frankly, at age three, he has no concept of the adult meaning of the word "mommy." To him, a "mommy" is someone who stays in one place, a safe, secure person. He wants to be someone who doesn't leave home.

That's the impression I'm getting from the OP.
post #102 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodWillHunter View Post
The word "mommy" is just that. It's a word. He can be a mommy a daddy a squirrel, a rabbit... My five year old son wants to be a ballerina. It's all words. Did I tell him that ballerina is a girl ballet dancer? Did I explain that he can't be a girl dancer? I don't really care. He can be anything he so desires. And so can your son. And, quite frankly, at age three, he has no concept of the adult meaning of the word "mommy." To him, a "mommy" is someone who stays in one place, a safe, secure person. He wants to be someone who doesn't leave home.

That's the impression I'm getting from the OP.
I agree!
post #103 of 108
Its amazing how this issue has taken such a turn. I do not think that it is beyond a three year to understand gender-I think we under estimate kids when we think they do not know the differences between boys and girls (they just may not know the extent of these differences). So is telling him that he can being a loving, caring father as well really a bad thing? I feel at times we get caught up in the "wonder of childhood', that all reality is just tossed out the window. At what age do we let our kids in on the secret of "the real world".
post #104 of 108
I might have missed a post, but I haven't seen anyone say that is bad to tell him that he could be a wonderful daddy.

If it were me, I would explain how he could be a daddy and do everything mommies do or he could be a mommy.
post #105 of 108
I personally don't want my kids to have to be bogged down by "realities of the real World" any sooner then they absolutely need to, what's wrong with letting them be a kid with all the wonders of imagination that goes along with it?

Just yesterday morning my DS came to me picking the sesame seeds off his bagel and asked if we could go plant a bagel tree. At first I explained that bagels really don't grow on trees but then he came back with, "Well let's just plant them and see what happens." What a fabulous way to approach the World! I'm not about to crush his dream of a bagel tree with a bunch of reality. I might even plant a tree in the spring and put some mini bagels on it as suggested by a friend.
post #106 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodWillHunter View Post
The word "mommy" is just that. It's a word. He can be a mommy a daddy a squirrel, a rabbit... My five year old son wants to be a ballerina. It's all words. Did I tell him that ballerina is a girl ballet dancer? Did I explain that he can't be a girl dancer? I don't really care. He can be anything he so desires. And so can your son. And, quite frankly, at age three, he has no concept of the adult meaning of the word "mommy." To him, a "mommy" is someone who stays in one place, a safe, secure person. He wants to be someone who doesn't leave home.

That's the impression I'm getting from the OP.
ITA!

He's three, he's expressing a feeling, and your mom is out of line. I think that you did the right thing. And, ya know, he didn't say that he wanted to be a woman (and there would nothing wrong with it if he had) -- he said that he wanted to be a mommy.

If he were older, say pre-teen or so, and still wanted to be a mom or a woman, then I would have the talk about transgender. At three, that's not what he's trying to express. Little ones have so few words at their disposal, that IMO it's unfair of adults to try to push our perspectives on them based on their choice of words.

Give your cutie a hug and keep an eye on your mom.
post #107 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
I personally don't want my kids to have to be bogged down by "realities of the real World" any sooner then they absolutely need to, what's wrong with letting them be a kid with all the wonders of imagination that goes along with it?

Just yesterday morning my DS came to me picking the sesame seeds off his bagel and asked if we could go plant a bagel tree. At first I explained that bagels really don't grow on trees but then he came back with, "Well let's just plant them and see what happens." What a fabulous way to approach the World! I'm not about to crush his dream of a bagel tree with a bunch of reality. I might even plant a tree in the spring and put some mini bagels on it as suggested by a friend.

That's priceless! And what a wonderful perspective on life!
post #108 of 108
This has been a very lively discussion I think the OP's question has been adequately addressed thanks to all of you that cared enough to put in your 2cents.
This thread is now closed, but will remain on the board so it can be referenced.
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