dh scared and uncomfortable with uc

[SaraBravo]

so i was wanting a homebirth for this baby but a midwife might be out of question one because of the cost and two because the closest hb midwife is 4 hrs away. so my solution was u/c! i know i can do it. women have done if since the beginning of time. i am totally comfortable with my body and in tune with baby. the only probably with u/c is that dh is not comfortable at all with it. he is very scared that something might go wrong. he was ok with the idea of a midwife being here but is scared of that because she is so far away and doesn't like the fact that medicaid won't cover it. my next option is a birth center but the closest and only birth center in ga is in savannah (2hrs away). what do i do? i cant see planning an uc if dh is not comfortable with it, i just wouldnt be able to relax.
has anyone else planned a birth somewhere so far from home? how did everything go?
this is #2 my first labor was 17 hrs after my water broke. 22 hrs in the hospital all together (from check-in to birth).

[zoebird]

well, part of the question might be how can you help your DH become comfortable with it since it is both what you want and your best option considering your circumstances (the distances to MWs and BCs)?

i do not think that his fears alone should preclude you from having the birth that you want, since you are the one who will be going through it. instead, i think it is more important that he work through and overcome his fears so that he can support you in your birthing choices.

so, my recommendation is to find out what about UC makes him uncomfortable and what he's willing to do to overcome those fears. and from this, what you can do to be supportive of that process, so he can be supportive of you and your birth process.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I'd also be more inclined to get the husband comfortable. What part of GA are you in? I live NW of Atlanta. I may know midwives closer to you than you think, possibly, if that would be a good compromise with your husband. Pick up a copy of The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth by Laurie Morgan and have him read it. It's not long, and discusses in detail why she believes UC to be the safest way to give birth.

[Tiffany_in_ga]

Hey girl!! Go to the Birthing Center! I promise you'll love them. And the 2 hour drive really isn't that bad!! We made it in just under two hours, actually.....They told me they'd let me sleep there at the center if I got there too early in labor....so it's REALLY not that big a deal. We made my appointments late in the day so my boyfriend didn't miss too much work. It's totally do-able! I was even going up there three times a week for awhile, when I was seeing the chiropractor since Aiden was breech. Plus, if something comes up and you need an OB, Dr. Robinson is AWESOME too! He did my C-section, after the midwives had to turn me over to him at 38 weeks.....You'll have NO regrets if you go up there. At least call and get in for one of the tours...take your DH with you. I know he'll feel like it's worth the drive!!

[boheime]

I think if you are in the mindset that UC might be for you, that you will be sorely disappointed with a birth center. I hear of "hands off" midwife birth stories in our local parenting group, and coming from a UC mindset, I am just apalled at so many of the details I hear. You need to be comfortable birthing. You dh's job is to support you however you need. If he has issues, those are his issues that he needs to work through with or without help (this is what my dh says about a man's role.) So, I would say to talk to him and see what his concerns are and address them.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Yeah, I agree w/ the pp. I know a birth center birth would NOT work for me at this point. If a UC sounds great to you, a birth center might not be so great. 2 hours in the car in labor gets a big fat no thanks from me!