Two preteens and pregnant - Page 3

[kennedy444]

I love the "large" age spacing. My kids were 10 and 8 when their sister was born. It's never been a problem, only an added blessing.

Now it's even better (12, 10 and 2). The older two obviously love her and there is no sibling jealousy. My son reads to her, plays with her and will even give her a bath at night. My daughter does all that and will lay down and they go to sleep together at night.

I always say how great it is to have that one baby "later." I"m older, wiser and it's like having a first child at 40 but you don't have all the nervousness of a first child since she's #3.

I can't say enough great things about it. Enjoy.......

[angel1895]

ok. the ages of myself and my younger siblings are (rounded up.. there are three bdays coming soon )

22, 21, 14, 6

its ok!

if anything you have some built in help.. and it will be great practice for them... at least it was for me

and btw.. my grandmother has children 20 years apart!

[shay]

Again, mine are 18, 12, 5 years.

I wrote in the Christmas card update how the little reminds us of wonderful it is to parent!! They just love you with hugs and kisses when little, sleep in the middle, want to color, and simply be full of life. Things change a bit when they are teenagers and NOT that way!!

[orangefoot]

I had my third child (first with my dh) when ds1 was 10 and ds2 was 7 then we have had dd2 since and my eldest is almost 14 and ds2 is 10.

Our 4 yo drives her brothers mad at times but she also makes us laugh a lot and our lives are so fun-filled and literally wonder-ful with the little people which is amazing.

One thing we have never said is that our children are *half* siblings. They are brothers and sisters and that's it.

[sunflowers]

My son was 13 when dd was born. I have to say it was not all sunshine and rainbows during my pg and for a time after. Ds was very used to being an only child and having me all to himself. He went through a fairly long (IMO) period of adjustment but now he really loves his little sister

That's not to say he doesn't appreciate his privacy and his stuff being treated with care. And some days he she can really grate on his nerves with her constant calling to him and trying to follow him around but so far, he's been wonderful about it all! (the story about the toddler banging on the teens door in an earlier post made me chuckle... it's becoming a near daily occurance in our home! and the post about the teen not telling his friends- happened over here, too Teens can get so easily mortified by the thought of their parents having sex.)

Good thread- I wish I had known about you all last year!

[shayinme]

My son is 15 and my dd is 19.5 mos, so that's a 13.5 year spread. Its been quite the adventure but I can honestly say that I am enjoying things much better this time around. I find that I have levels of patience I did not have with my son and am much more there as a parent. That said I love going from being immersed in toddler things then hanging out with my son. I like the spacing.

Congratulations!

Shay

[3daughters]

I was 10 when my sister was born (my brother was 7). I loved having a baby in the house! I'd waited 10 years to have a sister!

Positives:

• I helped raise my sister until she was about 4 years old so having my own babies was so familiar and easy.
• My sister is now 22 and my daughters have a young, hip aunt to look up to.
• She now babysits for me for the last 2 weeks of every summer between camp and school.

Negatives:

• I feel that my mother was more tired and had less energy and patience for me during the pregnancy and for the next few years after.
• I shared a room with my sister before she slept through the night so nights were...um...interesting.
• I moved out when my sister was 11 (and "checked out" earlier) so we didn't have any relationship for any of her teen years.
• I always felt that my sister was easily granted priveleges that I had to fight for.

My dh's oldest sister is 25 years older than the youngest sister. He is the youngest of the first batch of 6 and then his mother had 2 more kids after a nine year gap. DH now has a great "big brother" relationship with the brother that is younger than him by 9 years.

[tri31]

You all have been such a great source of information. I have to ask, how should I tell them I'm pregnant? I will most likley wait another month anyway (whole different topic). Is it better to let them have time to chew it over? Or, would it be better to wait until I'm obviously pregnant, and let them take it up with me? I want to approach this with tact. Any thoughts?

[kennedy444]

I told my kids when I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. Two reasons, one I wanted to have had my amnio and have all my facts for them and two, then the pregnancy wouldn't seem so long.

They were thrilled when I told them and have enjoyed their little sister from day one.

[orangefoot]

I told mine as soon as we knew. I have a blood clotting disorder and need to inject daily to prevent a blood clot forming and see specialists while pregnant too so we would have syringes and sharps containers in the house which I didn't want to keep secret.

As this was my fourth child I knew I would need their understanding if I went to bed at 4pm because I just couldn't stay awake and if I felt I couldn't cook sometimes if I was nauseous.

It turned out that I was incredibly tired in the early months and nauseous too and they were both very kind. They were propud of me for injecting daily and comisserated over my bruises.

If the worst had happened I don't know how not telling them would have helped as I would not have been able to hide my grief from them.

[3daughters]

My in-laws were creative when telling the older sibs that my dh was on the way. They called a family meeting and took a "vote" on who wanted another kid (he is #6). Only catch was that #6 was on his way already .

My sil (now 43 yo) found out that her mom was pregnant with #8 (now 19 yo) when she got engaged and wanted to plan a wedding for June. Mil informed her that she had other major plans for June and the wedding would have to be in July. My mil spent most of sil's wedding nursing newborn sil in the bathroom...

[sarahmae1]

I think that you should tell them as soon as possible. My mom told us pretty much right away. I kind of already knew, and I was really happy. It was neat because my brother and I got to be involved in the pregnancy too.

I've always told my kids pretty early on and involved them as well.

I believe in being as honest as possible with kids, so that's one big reason why we tell early on. It's also been helpful in that they kind of can understand why I am tired or not feeling well sometimes.

[mamarhu]

I really don't recall how or when we told ElderSon. But I plan to talk with him this evening, and will ask if he remembers, and if he has any suggestions or comments... To be continued...

[2mama]

We have DD 9, DS2 and DD 5weeks. As for DD #1 I think the hardest part was the change in routine and amount of avaible mommy time. Shortly before DS was born we started to have
'girls club meetings " were just the 2 of us would do stuff together. This could be painting, games reding, a outing ect. We continued this after DS was born and even changed it so she got points for her chores. When she got a certain amount of points she gets an outing or alone time with mom or dad. That encouraged her to be helpful which was a plus!

another time was to tell her before the baby was born that she will feel jelous from time to time and that is normal, but that when she feels that way it is not acceptable to be sassy. I told her she must tell us and we can talk about it. This was very important and allowed her to express her unwanted feeling with out fear of rejection

Good luck!!!

[FitnessMom]

I am glad I found this thread! It makes me happy to see that there are other families with children spaced far apart. My two are 10.5 years apart. My youngest is almost 6 and I still want one more.