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Originally Posted by pamamidwife  But I think that the issue isn't with your body not doing things "right", but that there is an expectation by you, providers, etc., that things should be happening a certain way.
Sometimes things take awhile and we're not privvy as to why it happens - but we know that given time (and comfort measures for mom), it all works out for a reason. As long as mom and baby are doing well, there are other things to do that will ease pain, encourage rest, etc.
I don't think there is anything physiologically wrong with you. Not at all. You don't have an underlying issue with NOT going into labor - your patterns just don't always follow what is textbook for a certain model / provider.
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Well, I wish I'd known this years ago, it's all so true, thank you! There was really nothing different about my homebirth experience except that I had no expectations and that was okay, and what a difference! I really thought when I had my water break with my first that something should be happening right then... and then as the pain became more and more intense, surely something should be happening right then... and when I was dilated so far, surely something should be happening right then... and then as the hours went into days -well, clearly, something must be wrong!
With this last birth I went into what felt like labor, but I didn't stress, just let it happen because there was really nothing I needed to do. Turned out nothing happened. Three days later, same thing, very strong intense contractions but instead of thinking, okay, it's time, I just thought, well, this is what my body does, it isn't *fun*, but it's okay. Later that day, my water broke and things became very intense... but still 'nothing' happened, many hours later after very close consistent contractions my contractions actually slowed down... in the past I would've absolutely panicked and been stressed thinking my body just can't do it! But instead I was reassured sometimes this happens and I could just rest -so I did! I was still having painful contractions, but I was able to sleep through them... writing this out, it sounds so silly, but just knowing that there was nothing more I needed to do and that it was okay baby wasn't coming immediately made it all so much calmer for me.... and, eventually, of course!, it did happen! And, yeah, it was miserably painful and I wasn't happy about how long it all took but knowing that not all labors follow the same pattern helped me accept my own pattern and it was doable.... and while I'm sad I didn't know this before, I'm so glad I got to experience it and know it eventually.
I really thought there had to be a *reason* why I wasn't progressing in the past and because there seemed to be none (baby in correct position, mama in perfect health, etc.) it just had to be something wrong with me, but it was just as simple as my body having it's own way about it. I truly didn't need to be forced at all... and again, I don't think there was anything different about my past labors, or even anything about eventually making my way to the hospital that impeded my progress, given more time and better understanding I know those other labors would've eventually happened the same way.
if you ask around in the trading post here, i'm sure someone will have a used copy to sell or trade you.
