Pregnant with #1 in our 30s - Page 9

[dctexan]

Originally Posted by MajorGroover

I've been dead tired, eating constantly and gaining weight. My house is a mess and I haven't exercised in a month. Sigh. I'm concerned that I've already gained 8 pounds, kinda scared that I'll keep gaining at this rate!

Dee - That sooo sounds like me in early pregnancy. I gained about 9 lbs really quickly (about 5 immediately after I got my BFP, I am not kidding, and another 4 between weeks 4-9). However, at 18 weeks I have "only" gained a total of 11-12 lbs so either the weight slowed WAY down or else some of that early weight was just fluid that was then replaced with the real weight gain. So while I was initially freaking out, I am okay with my "pace" now. My house was a huge mess during the first trimester. I hated it, but I just couldn't clean it, I had NO energy. Exercise went out the window too (which really depressed me). However, getting up each day and going to work was all I could manage. Forgive yourself for it and let it go. You are using a huge amount of energy growing your babe during this critical period. The fatigue will improve and you will be able to exercise and clean again.

[Dee-Groovy]

Thanks Emily, that made me feel SO much better. I know we all gain at our own pace but it's weird to feel like my pace is so much faster than anyone else's. Glad to know it's not & I hope it slows down like yours did.

[FiberLover]

Dee, sounds exactly like me too.

I haven't weighed myself yet. But I know my body, and I *know* I have gained about 10 lbs give or take. At 6 weeks.

However, I do feel like it was mostly up front, and I'm slowing down. I think never having been pregnant before our bodies just start telling us to eat! We have hormone rushes....also, the bloat...I'm sure part of our initial weight gain is bloat, don't you think?

Thanks again for all the replies to my impatient questions yesterday! I am in a much better place today in regards to waiting, and knowing that there isn't anything I can do exept be. Be good and healthy, and wait. I guess I'm not very good at waiting!

Still no signs of real morning sickness, but I'll take that as a good thing! I do get small waves of slight nausea, but nothing bad. Sore BBs, tired, and moody. Pregnancy is so new and weird to me, I'm not taking anything for granted!

Hugs to all, and a happy, healthy weekend!

[k9sarchik]

Michelle~ Glad you feel better about not getting an u/s so soon. The temptation of having one is HUGE! But I keep reminding myself that we didn't have them for thousands of years and women's bodies just do their thing. I think that a lot of our "medical advances" cause undo stress that puts stress hormones into our babies. The less stress the better.

Emily~ My DH is totally for it, BUT we do have questions for the whole emergency possibility. The midwife told us to make a list of questions for her so those type of questions will be answered. DH just wants to make sure that baby and I will be ok. We are doing the waterbirth at home because no Kaiser hospital "approves" of waterbirth. And the one and only birth center that does it is swamped with women.

Dee~ Happy Birthday coming up! : Don't fret all the weight and eating in the beginning, your urge to eat does taper off.....and so does the fatigue. I have been able to get a little exercise in now and I don't have these painful urges to eat now.

[FiberLover]

Michelle~ Glad you feel better about not getting an u/s so soon. The temptation of having one is HUGE! But I keep reminding myself that we didn't have them for thousands of years and women's bodies just do their thing. I think that a lot of our "medical advances" cause undo stress that puts stress hormones into our babies. The less stress the better.

I totally agree Laura! Which is why I posted I think too. Sometimes posting helps me get stuff out of my system. Whew. I was having a worry wart day yesterday I think.

Dee, I forgot, Happy Early Birthday! The dinner plans sound fantastic! You deserve it, enjoy!

And, Happy Weekend Everyone!

Enjoy!

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by dctexan

My DH is a little skeptical of the whole natural birth thing.

Consider giving him Simkin's Birth Partner. There was no question that I was committed to a natural birth, but DH is loathing the concept of seeing me in pain and really doesn't see what a big deal an epidural would be. 2 things seems to have helped: first, he read the afore-mentioned book, and he felt that it was "balanced" (something DH does not necessarily think of my birth literature); second, we toured the hospital, where they have a birth center for natural births that looked nice and homey and a labor and delivery room where epidurals and C-sections are available. Even my DH (not exactly king of aesthetics) was struck by the difference in feel.

[PiePie]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE! Just think, for your next birthday, you will be a MOMMY! Un-friggin' believable, huh?

[jpiper0430]

Happy Birthday Dee! I hope you and DH enjoy your special day. Sounds like you have great plans.

I have a bit of a husband brag here. After hearing the heartbeat on Thursday, we were both very excited. Well, DH has every other Friday off from work (nice benefit, eh!). He went out on Friday and got me some Easter Mums, a small angel food cake and some fresh berries. Then he grilled us a wonderful dinner (he grilled a whole chicken, asparagus and sweet potatos - yum!). Such a sweetie!

Enjoy your weekend everyone! It's nice enough out that I'm going for a long walk!

[Dee-Groovy]

Originally Posted by PiePie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE! Just think, for your next birthday, you will be a MOMMY! Un-friggin' believable, huh?

You said it. Un-friggin' believable!
Thanks for the happy birthday wishes everyone!


Jenn your hubby sounds wonderful & thoughtful!

[PiePie]

In me news, I am taking the job I wrote about. I was hoping for another one that didn't come through. I am sure it is because I am pregnant, and that I am not going to get other offers at this stage of my pregnancy (less than 5 months till I would go on maternity leave). If anyone ever tells you that pregnancy discrimination doesn't exist, let me be a contrary lesson. The commute will suck. I will definitely do it till baby comes, then...we'll see if I can get something with a better commute.

In the meantime, I may start as soon as Wednesday! I would like more down time to, e.g., buy maternity clothes I can wear to court (!?!?!), but they are pushing for me to start already. The immediate $ won't hurt, I guess. My feet get sore very easily. Not sure if it's a pregnancy symptom or I'm just out of the habit of wearing heels (or, for that matter, being on my feet!!). So a high priority is getting comfy shoes. I am going to go boldly where I have not gone before in terms of courtroom attire and not wear heels -- what are they going to do, fire me?

I also have to clean the house (not done since the end of December -- think bedridden, morning sick me -- you cannot imagine the pigsty I am living in) because once I go back to work with that commute, all bets are off...

We have been without a stereo for a while as my old one broke. We got a new one, finally, and DH set it up today. It's little and cute (which I am excited about) and it plays off of ipod (which DH is excited about). I find that music is really good for fighting depression/lethargy.

I feel lousy that the sling I bought for a former coworker's baby shower has been recalled (see the front page of this site) because the strap breaks and the baby falls!! I knew it wasn't the best sling in the world when I got it, but she registered for it, and I felt like I should honor that, because for me choosing baby stuff is very personal. I never thought that breaking was a possibility!

[~minnow~]

Hey, Happy Birthday Dee!

PiePie, hope your new job goes well. Don't sweat the sling too much if she registered for it... Oh, shoes. I am loving my ballet flats (with inserts) these days.

Jenn -- yay on husbands who bring flowers with dinner!

You know, I visited friends last week who kind of scared me about the u/s. (Yes, I know, fear transfers.) Because IF there is something wrong, it's scheduled too late to "do anything" about it, according to laws in this state. I should say that I in know way think I would terminate if something was wrong, unless it was like fatal, yk? Anyway, they scared me and I've been all, should I reschedule it for earlier? You guys have reassured me.

I'm having the opposite problem about weight. I don't think I'm eating ENOUGH right now. Stress. However, on the plus side, I really, truly did start to feel much better at about 14 weeks. I'm looking forward to enjoying eating. And getting my energy back. But I wish I was still hungry like I was in the first tri (when not puking). (My house was a disaster then too. Is it grosser if you don't clean the sink for a month when you puke into it almost every morning? )

Does anyone have any experience with living with someone who has severe depression or another mental situation? I just posted a long thread on our DDC about my husband's fit of acute paranoia. Stressing. Me out. We've been through it before, but I kept hoping it was a fluke. I lack patience right now, esp since he doesn't think anything is wrong. Except for the messages in the graffiti. And the cryptic mutterings of strangers on the street. And the pesky fact that I keep insisting he take his medicine.

[ChristyM26]

Dee - Happy Birthday! Hope it's a good one.

I'm having the worst day in the world. I had to go to Atlanta this weekend to do a training for my job (we live in NC). So first off, I miss my DH. We don't usually spend entire weekends not seeing each other at all.

Then this morning we were going to the training building and the people at the hotel told us that we could walk because it wasn't far. Well, apparently their definition of far and ours don't match up cause we had to walk about 2 miles. Then this afternoon I had more of the yucky brown spotting and I'm sure it was from the walking (well, that's more of a gut feeling, cause there's no other cause I can think of) so now, I'm laying in bed hoping my baby's ok. I've gone to the realm of totally paranoid. FWIW, I think that the spotting's stopped, but I can't really tell.

And I'm crying. And I could call my doctor but it wouldn't do me much good cause I'm 4 hours away. I just want to go home... (yup, I'm emotional, can you tell?)

Sorry, this is kind of ranty. I'm just kind of upset.And I want to go home (did I say that already?)

[Grace24]

Wow, busy thread!

Christy sorry you're feeling homesick...amazing, I used to love travelling when I was younger, now it just feels like a pain and I'm homesick the whole time. Hormones can't be helping!

Minnow, I do have experience with some people with various mental illnesses. A close family member suffered from paranoid schizophrenia a while back, it was pretty bad. He was totally out of it. CIA plots, reading messages in the wallpaper, you name it. We had to put him in a hospital before he'd take his medicine and get better (the CIA was trying to poison him with the pills you see). He's doing well now, his diagnosis has been changed to depression with paranoid features...he switched from an anti-psychotic to paxil a couple months ago and seems to be doing well and having more energy. Does DH have mood swings, history of depression...it could be anything from depression to bipolar to schizo-affective, to outright schizophrenia...but if he's somewhat lucid and can function, there's plenty of hope. But he HAS to talk to someone. What medication is he taking now? You can PM me if you want with more details. Does he hear voices at all? Above all you have to make sure YOU have support too. Take care of yourself. Sorry, you're going through this it's sooooo tough. Let me know if I can help.

Michelle I don't really have m/s either, just moments of nausea that pass if I eat crackers and have a little coke, but it's so mild. I keep waiting to see if it'll get worse!

[~minnow~]

Oh Christy, I'm sorry to hear. I know how terrifying that brown spotting is. I hope you feel better. And that your trip is over soon.

Grace, thanks for your thoughts. This is Episode Three. We went through the hospital thing, the med thing, the therapist thing. Problem seems to be that he's _too_ lucid; even with the paranoia the diagnosis he gets is always depression. Have to fight him to get him to take the Risperdal. However, he does have an appointment on Monday with his old therapist. Will probably pm you when I'm less tired as I'd love more details.

[PiePie]

Minnow, Alas, I have too much experience with people with mental illness, including depression. Only 3 people I know have presented as paranoid -- one with schizophrenia (BIL), one with bipolar disorder (friend), and one with unipolar depression that was really really bad (cousin). Once a person goes into that paranoid state it is really hard to work with him.

Meds are definitely key, and most therapists will welcome another perspective (other than the patient's) if the symptoms are extra bad -- sometimes people are able to mask their symptoms to their doctor and hence not get the right dose/combo of meds. Would you be able to get DH's permission to speak to his psychiatrist? I did that once for my brother, and the doctor was surprisingly welcoming of me, both he and I got a whole new take on what was going on.

[PiePie]

Minnow, Don't worry about the messy house. Mine has been a pigsty since after my first month. I do want to whip it into shape, but I also think it speaks well of our ability to prioritize. Also, don't worry about your eating hurting the baby. I was really worried I was starving the baby when I was eating so little due to m/s. Well, I was starving myself but baby did great, measured 2 days ahead of dates. It is a true parasite and will take what it needs -- I lost fat in mhy calves, thighs, and upper arms. Our bodies are miraculous that way.

[rock_dr]

PiePie - what sling was recalled? I don't see a notice about it on the main page...

[ChristyM26]

Minnow, I wouldn't worry about the house being clean or dirty. I told all my friends that if they expect my house to be clean when I'm so darn tired they could entertain a their house. Everybody's understood so far.

The spotting did stop (late last night) and everything seems to be fine. I think that a 2 mile walk was just a bit much for me (or anybody for that matter!). We'll have to spend a lot of time on the Underground next week while we're in London.

Speaking of slings - does anybody have a reccomendation for one? I know I want one, but I don't know what good brands/companies are.

[dctexan]

minnow - I also have had quite a bit of experience with mental illness. First of all, mental illness is very tough to deal with so . I really hope your DH is being treated for his condition and that you and the doctor have a contingency plan for noncompliance. In my opinion (and others may disagree with me) is that one instance of mental illness can be considered acute, however any relapses = chronic condition that requires meds and medical monitoring on an on-going basis. Every subsequent episode is usually worse than the one that preceeded it, therefore it is extremely important to NOT go off meds even if the patient feels normal. If there hasn't been an outbreak of symptoms for years, the patient may want to try decreasing meds (under supervision of course). If that is successful, the patient can try to go med-free with the understanding that ANY inkling of symptoms means that meds need to be restarted immediately (no wait and see what happens). Your DH NEEDs to be on his meds and he NEEDS to be responsible for his own health and well being. You are not his mommy and you are not his doctor. This is going to sound really, really harsh but in my opinion someone who is NOT complying with his/her treatment program is not someone I need to be involved with (although I am happy to help someone find treatment and support them as they go through treatment). I'd lay down the law with DH about this. Mental illness doesn't just hurt the patient, it also hurts the people around the patient. Not complying with treatment is a very selfish act and you need to really think about how much you are willing to put up with.

[PiePie]

Originally Posted by rock_dr

PiePie - what sling was recalled? I don't see a notice about it on the main page...

the one by infantino, called something like easy rider