So I got a nice slap of reality today from my MIL.
Let me preclude this post by stating that I am European. And in my family & culture it is the norm to basically have grandparents help to raise the grandkids as soon as they are born or when the parents go back to work. My mom has already said "When do you need me by?" but sadly with my mom b/c she lives 3 hours away, would have to move in with us. So that's not a solution b/c my husband doesn't want her living with us.
So my husband asked my MIL today about how she would feel about taking care of the baby once they are born because initially she had totally hinted that she wanted to help out.
Not only did she say a very poor response of "Well if you guys were in a pinch we would help..." (implying that only in emergencies she would) but then proceeded to tell him how great daycares were for helping kids to learn to socialize etc etc. Can you be more passive aggressive in saying "No thanks"?
So basically she won't be taking care of her grandchild and now we have to start looking for and saving for daycare.
I will admit this, because I know I technically have no right to be this upset b/c it's not her responsibility or obligation to raise my child, but I started to cry when I heard that from him. I know for a fact that she dropped off my husband and his brother when they were kids to her parents house where his grandparents raised him. And she's retired and complains that she's bored.
To me it just felt so insulting b/c that's not how I was raised. Family helps each other out. So this is like my child grandmother saying "Well we can see the baby but you know..."
I've spent like an hour calming myself down. I do realize that I am being unreasonable b/c I shouldn't have hoped or relied that she would help us out this much. And it was my mistake to think she'd want to.
How much is daycare again?