|What is it exactly that makes the mother's daughter's baby more special than the mother's son's baby?
OMG I wish I knew but I can't tell you how many of my friends warned me about this. They said even if you think you don't need your mom, there will be a world of difference to how your mom will treat you and what she will do for you vs your MIL. Obviously this is not the case for everyone. But literally up until the point of the baby announcement, my mom and me had been fighting for 6 months. Overnight it stopped and now it's like better than ever. And it's wierd b/c normally I adore my MIL. She's been the perfect MIL. Both of us have a great relationship with her.
|My Mom said to me recently that your sons are your babies until they get married, and your daughters are your babies forever. (she has 2 of each) I think that often times boys grow up and aren't quite as close to their mothers as daughters often stay to their mothers. Perhaps it has something to do with that?
This is a very interesting concept. I wonder if maybe the MIL's feel like they can't be as involved or as honest as your own mother would for fear of offending or doing something wrong or crossing some boundary? Maybe motherhood or grandmother hood changes something?? Anyone have any other ideas?
I am however done my dramatic little hormonally imbalanced hissy fit and realized I needed to calm the hell down and accept that I was being irrational. She has a right to her retirement and to do whatever she wants with her time and I shouldn't expect her to do anything that is our responsibility to begin with. My mom however did not have the same reaction to MIL's decided future actions. If you thought I was bad, oy! She's ready to disown her. But again this is totally a personal cultural difference so it's just not possible to level the playing field unless both sides came from the same background. It will be a fun day when they see each other at the hospital after we have the baby. Vicodin anyone?
As for work I *hope* I am able to go as long as I can so that I can spend more time with our baby after the baby is born but then that totally depends on what will happen to my body and health at the time.
Just curious, how are daycare costs in your areas?
I am not kidding when I say I started researching Toronto and it runs - you ready?....no are you really ready??...$1300-1400 a month. Per child. Over the age of 1 to 2 years. Thereafter the price "drops" to around 1000 a month for a 2 - 3 year old. So that's around $60-70 a day.
I swear I nearly fell of my chair.
In my wildest nightmares I couldn't have imagined that high of a cost. I mean how do parents with more than 1 child handle it? No wonder so many parents stay at home.
I may add the daycare isn't guaranteed. *IF* you pass the long wait lists, you can pay that. But you have sign up for it while you're pregnant for a chance to get in. In which case we are now looking into a home based daycare or a nanny. Or if in some perfect world the stars line up, my husband gets his old weekend job shifts back and we would only need someone every Friday.