LoA March 11-17 - Page 9

[celesterra]

: :

[barefoot mama]

Annikate~

I just read the email you posted from your dh. It was SO sweet!! What a wonderful way to start your day!

[sphinxie]

I just did a focus wheel for the first time. It's actually kinda powerful to see all my "believable beliefs" arrayed around my desire at the center, interesting!

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by Taradactyl3

help him get out of the angry emotion. It's going to help me a lot to think of this as a normal emotion that he needs to express instead of a behavior that is wrong or undesirable. Heck, I need to express my emotions like that at times too so why shouldn't he!

This is posted in the GD forum sticky. It isn't my bent, but it is another perspective. I almost posted it earlier, but when you mentioned needing to express emotions, it clicked that we can apply it to husbands and ourselves, not just kids. http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html


Pat

[*Devon*]

Originally Posted by kdmama33

One more thing. Can someone recommend a book for a Feng Shui beginner? The one that you mentioned, Devon, seems to be more about decluttering than the basics of Feng Shui. (Correct me if I am wrong.) I feel like I've got decluttering down, so now I want a Feng Shui primer to work with the stuff I do still own. KWIM?

Karen Kingston also has a book called Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui -- it looks great, I am going to get that next!

Originally Posted by Annikate

I yelled at dd tonight just before she went back to sleep and now I can't sleep.
She was afraid.

I have made great strides in the patience department and now I feel like I totally blew it. I feel like the suckiest parent on earth. Of course I *know* this isn't true but I still feel like it.

You are wonderful and amazing and absolutely perfect for your girls!!

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by KateSt.

Penny -- this may be really out in left-field for you....but I'm going to risk it anyway because I really think it's worth looking into.

Have you ever thought that your ds...is your brother?

It just makes so much sense to me, in light of your brother's situation and your ds feeling "broken" like he pushed the wrong button before he was born!

You MUST read "Children's Past Lives" and "Return from Heaven." The latter is all about children reincarnating into the same families -- they're true accounts straight out of the children's mouths. I don't know if you believe in this but it is REALLY striking a cord with me.

At the very least, if you think there might be some truth to this, when your ds is sleeping whisper to him that he's safe, this is a new life, a new body, a new experience, he can let go of his past and embrace his new life. It's really worth a shot.

pm me if you want more info. (((HUGS))))

:

Pat

[indigenousmama]

Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders

Thank you for taking the time to call them and post about it. I had uploaded the Holosync onto iTunes and was listening in bed, but I wasn't getting much from it ... now it makes sense as to why (and I had the thought previously about simply "recording" it would miss the underlying stuff). So, I'm going to put one of our small boom boxes next to the chair and just plug in my headphones there. Not as convinient, but it'll work.

I AM COMPLETELY HEALTHY
AND WHOLE!!!

hmmm...this is interesting. the first time i listened to my holosync was on my ipod in bed. i fell asleep and slept like i had never slept before. i awoke in the middle of the night with my 10 month old slapping me in the head and my ipod still on halfway through another audiobook! i usually wake up as soon as he starts to stir. then, the next night i listened to it from my computer sitting in a comfy chair with headphones, and i ended up with a headache, and i couldn't get to sleep all night! i was pretty annoyed. i haven't listened to it again since. not that i won't listen to it anymore, i just felt i needed to take it slower. i think i'll listen again tomorrow. i was feeling a bit of discomfort, feeling kind of anxious, and exposed and vulnerable. i know this is a sign of opening up and releasing, but i felt it was happening a little too fast than i can process right now. i'm interested to hear other's experiences.

[sphinxie]

I just read this elsenet and wanted to post it, it's an Abe quote: "Disappointment is taking score too soon."

[annalily]

Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders

Thank you for taking the time to call them and post about it. I had uploaded the Holosync onto iTunes and was listening in bed, but I wasn't getting much from it ... now it makes sense as to why (and I had the thought previously about simply "recording" it would miss the underlying stuff). So, I'm going to put one of our small boom boxes next to the chair and just plug in my headphones there. Not as convinient, but it'll work.

I have several of Paul Schele's paraliminal/holosync CDs and this is how i listen. I love them. DH used the sales one to turn things around (too late ) at his last job. But I'm not kidding that it made an overnight difference, a total 180! And he was seriously miserable, he kept saying how he just didn't like the job--not just that job but sales jobs period, he just didn't think he could do it, etc. It was bad.:
I know you aren't trying to be a better salesperson (nor am I --I didn't use that one myself), but I love the Deep Relaxation one and just listened to Prosperity the other day for the first time. Dh listened to that one too, so if it is as great as the sales one was, then woo hoo!
I also like Personal Genius from Paul Schele.

BUT, and here is the big AH HA moment. I realized today that UP UNTIL NOW I have feared being healthy.

It hit me like a lightbulb. I realized that being unwell (mostly emotionally though I have physical symptoms too - namely constant sinus pressure/congestion/headaches) is my "trump card" so to speak that ensures there is someone to take care of me.

Wow, this is so awesome!!

Originally Posted by dharmama

Just wanted to share that the work I'm doing right now feels...wow. Difficult.

I feel like up until now I've just sort of been dabbling in LoA. Celebrating the little victories...manifesting raspberry jam when I was out of it and needed some for a recipe...the right book jumping out at me in the library...the right people calling when I need them to etc.

But now...dealing with DH's unemployment and the insecurities that go along with it are really challenging me.

I'm SO restless today. I've lost patience with the kids way too much. Argued with DH over nothing this morning. Then just while I was cooking dinner...I was like...what is this restlessness???? Oh right...our whole world is changing (and on top of that we changed the clocks this weekend .

I feel like I have to re-watch The Secret and re-listen to some of the CDs I explored last fall. Get back to the basics...reaching for the best possible thought in each moment.

Very interesting.

Yes, re-watch it! I know what you mean.
Now with DH's month and a half of being unemployed and then starting a new low low paying job I have to constantly remind myself not to focus on that. It has always been my nature to freak out but I cannot do that now.
I tried when he was out of work to find joy in his being able to have so much one on one time with Maddy, to be here to help me with little stuff, and all that. Sometimes I had to really reach for that feeling too, cause it was also annoying to have him here all the time!
But yes, watch it again, read stuff here (these threads I mean), etc.

I remember my mom told me that when my dad was looking for a job after he got his PhD she was worried and my great grandmother just said, "Oh don't worry honey, he'll find a job" with such absolute certainty...she knew there was no doubt...just a wise old woman. How could my mom but believe?

KoalaMama, thanks for posting the link to the Sedona thingy.:

[annalily]

Originally Posted by sphinxie

I just read this elsenet and wanted to post it, it's an Abe quote: "Disappointment is taking score too soon."

That is awesome!

[*Devon*]

Money comes easily and frequently! Who cares that I just spent $50 on a stupid EZPass violation that I didn't even get, but CAN'T ARGUE IT because you can never talk to a G******* PERSON!

Money comes easily and frequently! I am so happy and grateful that I ... eh, f**k it. : Kiss my ass, EZPass!

Now I feel slightly better.

[Annikate]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

We've moved several times before for my DH's job. I used to be Linda in Canada, and Linda in Arizona. I think I might have even been Linda in Kansas for awhile. I finally settled on Linda on the Move because it would work no matter where we lived and I thought of myself as a woman who had moved over and over for her DH's job (which I now see as really negative). I think I'm going to change it after we get to Florida -- may be Linda on the Beach, or change the way I think about it. Linda on the move refering to how much I'm learning and growing or something like that. Or may be I'll just go for Linda the Serene Yoga Goddess

And now you can join the FL Manifesting Mamas tribe!

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

Re: kids, tantrums, etc.

I agree that it is a normal and healthy emotion. I aim to make sure I validate their feelings while encouraging them to seek a better mood, but not in a way that they feel it is wrong or offering an external....(food/tv/or other stimuli) as a suitable replacement for the feelings. It's a tricky balancing act and a fine line between each side.

I totally agree. The How to Talk so Kids Will Listen book helps with this a lot!! (I found it helped with dh's issues surrounding rejection in childhood and abandonment issues too...not that I don't have plenty of my own childhood baggage: UNTIL NOW! )

Also, I love NVC for learning the language of emotions and validation. These were totally foreign tools to me. We had screaming and anger as our emotional tools, and models in childhood. These two articles really helped me to learn a new way of interacting in conflict situations.

Compassionate Connection and Attachment Parenting and NVC:
http://www.cnvc.org/motherin.htm

Raising Children Compassionately:
http://www.cnvc.org/raisekds.htm


Pat

[WuWei]

Originally Posted by celesterra

: :

Missing you.

Pat

[catgirl]

Originally Posted by *Devon*

Money comes easily and frequently! Who cares that I just spent $50 on a stupid EZPass violation that I didn't even get, but CAN'T ARGUE IT because you can never talk to a G******* PERSON!

Money comes easily and frequently! I am so happy and grateful that I ... eh, f**k it. : Kiss my ass, EZPass!

Now I feel slightly better.

Oh Devon, thank you SO much for that!!!!

[catgirl]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

I think that everyone here on Mothering.com has such high standards that we need to try to be mellow with ourselves.

:

I'd let go of the label "radical unschooling" because it seems to be messing with your head and not at all helpful to you at this time.

I talk with my kids about what they want to do and how they want to do it. The 3 subjects that we feel they *must* work on are reading, writing, and math. We've explained to them why. They are free to work on these any way they want, and don't need to do something for each every day. Sometimes they like some curriculum, other times they don't. There are SOOOO many ways to learn things.

What does your son want to do? It is not my experience that kids who have lots of freedom really want to sit around day after day doing nothing. They usually want to do some pretty cool things.

And when talking with your DH, don't say that you've decided DS should just do whatever he wants, because DH might freak out. Instead, talk to him about what DS wants to do and what he is learning from it.

Up till now he's really enjoyed structure - paradoxically I think it actually gives him a sense of control.

I think some of what we've been doing may have been too challenging to him - or at least threatening if it's challenging. He's let me know recently that if he needs help to do something it "doesn't count", i.e. that then he didn't really do it himself. (And by "help" he means writing down a hard math problem instead of figuring it out in his head - stuff that anyone would find helpful.) It takes practice to find a balance with this - he's insulted if I give him stuff that's "too easy"!

I do let him follow his own interests. There's also stuff that, like you, I've said is just part of what we do. Sometimes what he resists a lot at first becomes stuff that he's passionate about!

when my kids were small I tried to figure out what triggered tantrums for each of them and then avoid those things in the future. Being over tired was a huge thing for both of my kids.

When they did tantrum, I removed them from the situation by taking them to a quiet place and stayed with them (holding them if they wanted) while they got it out of their system. Then I got them a cool wash cloth to wipe off their face, which seemed to help them transition back.

Sometimes our kids have really strong emotions and the best we can do for them is just to be there with them while they express them. I don't think it is our job to *fix* their emotions, just to be available to them. At the same time, I did try to think back through and eliminate triggers.

Originally Posted by Taradactyl3

Thanks guys. Good advice here.

It's going to help me a lot to think of this as a normal emotion that he needs to express instead of a behavior that is wrong or undesirable. Heck, I need to express my emotions like that at times too so why shouldn't he!

Thinking through this with you guys has helped some.

Thanks again,
Tara

I was saying the same things to dh later tonight, that ds has very strong emotions and we're here to hlep him learn to deal with them rather than to force him to control them.

Tara, when ds was little he rarely tantrumed, but when he did I just stayed close to him and told him I understood he was angry with me, that it was OK, and that I loved him jsut the same whether he was angry or not. I could see it was really scary for him to be that angry at me. Often I would just sit close to him with one breast hanging out till he was ready to take the bait!

Originally Posted by indigenousmama

hmmm...this is interesting. the first time i listened to my holosync was on my ipod in bed. i fell asleep and slept like i had never slept before. i awoke in the middle of the night with my 10 month old slapping me in the head and my ipod still on halfway through another audiobook! i usually wake up as soon as he starts to stir. then, the next night i listened to it from my computer sitting in a comfy chair with headphones, and i ended up with a headache, and i couldn't get to sleep all night! i was pretty annoyed. i haven't listened to it again since. not that i won't listen to it anymore, i just felt i needed to take it slower. i think i'll listen again tomorrow. i was feeling a bit of discomfort, feeling kind of anxious, and exposed and vulnerable. i know this is a sign of opening up and releasing, but i felt it was happening a little too fast than i can process right now. i'm interested to hear other's experiences.

I think you need to take it slow - half an hour a day at first is what I think they say. It brings stuff up and you have to give yourself time to process it. A friend of a friend went crazy with it, did it for three hours a day against all advice to the contrary, started going completely nuts and didn't dare touch it since. Clearly, that was not a good way to approach it!

[milk4two]

Subbing...I'll be back later.

[kdmama33]

Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders

So ... now I need to let go of this fear and I'm not entirely sure how to. It feels so engrained ... is EFT enough? Jen, if you are reading, think the homeopathic remedy might help me let go of it? Maybe the Holosync ... I want to drop this fear like a bad habit! I want it gone. I want to be completely whole and healthy!!!

I AM COMPLETELY HEALTHY

AND WHOLE!!!

The Sedona Method might be perfect for you. EFT, too. Either, both. Holosync. All of it? It sounds like you need some help in releasing, so perhaps try one and see if it works for you, even just a bit. (I think all of them build on just a bit of release, until you are able to release more and more.)

Personally, I didn't think the Sedona Method was going to do squat for me. You ask yourself if you're ready to release, you say yes, and then you just ... do?!? Riiiiiiight. But I've seen some real progess with it. And DH is like a new man. Seriously. He signed up to do the course in Sedona in June AND he's going to become certified to be a Sedona coach. It has made such a difference in his life, to be able to release years of bottled up emotions.

Originally Posted by KateSt.

MLW---what an EMPOWERING insight!!! Good for you, you healthy, thriving mama!!!

So is it the holosync demo everyone's talking about? I ordered that. Anyone buy the first round of CD's?

Yep. Got 'em. Loving 'em.

Originally Posted by sphinxie

I just did a focus wheel for the first time. It's actually kinda powerful to see all my "believable beliefs" arrayed around my desire at the center, interesting!

Focus wheel? Tell me more, tell me more. (Done in my best sixties girl group voice! )

Originally Posted by *Devon*

Money comes easily and frequently! Who cares that I just spent $50 on a stupid EZPass violation that I didn't even get, but CAN'T ARGUE IT because you can never talk to a G******* PERSON!

Money comes easily and frequently! I am so happy and grateful that I ... eh, f**k it. : Kiss my ass, EZPass!

Now I feel slightly better.

Release, baby!

[MyLittleWonders]

Originally Posted by *Devon*

Money comes easily and frequently! Who cares that I just spent $50 on a stupid EZPass violation that I didn't even get, but CAN'T ARGUE IT because you can never talk to a G******* PERSON!

Money comes easily and frequently! I am so happy and grateful that I ... eh, f**k it. : Kiss my ass, EZPass!

Now I feel slightly better.

Originally Posted by kdmama33

The Sedona Method might be perfect for you. EFT, too. Either, both. Holosync. All of it? It sounds like you need some help in releasing, so perhaps try one and see if it works for you, even just a bit. (I think all of them build on just a bit of release, until you are able to release more and more.)

Personally, I didn't think the Sedona Method was going to do squat for me. You ask yourself if you're ready to release, you say yes, and then you just ... do?!? Riiiiiiight. But I've seen some real progess with it. And DH is like a new man. Seriously. He signed up to do the course in Sedona in June AND he's going to become certified to be a Sedona coach. It has made such a difference in his life, to be able to release years of bottled up emotions.




Yep. Got 'em. Loving 'em.



Focus wheel? Tell me more, tell me more. (Done in my best sixties girl group voice! )




Release, baby!

I'm going to look into the Sedona method - sounds fascinating. I've also realized I created the perfect little alcove for listening to my Holosync cd's ... we cleared out what was the dining area (much too small for a dining room; our table is in the kitchen) and turned it into a "reading alcove" - it is so nice and comfy in there that it's going to be my quiet place when the boys are asleep.

And now you have me singing (and wanting to watch) Grease!

[yaM yaM]

Um, could someone please help me with this itsy bitsy request?

Originally Posted by May May

I have one question about the switchwords - where can I learn more about them? I keep seeing the lists but can't find the 'instructions'. How are they to be used? TIA.