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i got ambushed today at my appt. i'm so upset....

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
so... two weeks ago i failed the one hour glucose test. Me and the midwife basically laughed it off since I was supposed to fast and didn't. I had woken up at 3am and was up till 5am so i ate some bread with jam (carbs and sugar?) and wasn't surprised when i tested high. I told her i wanted to decline the 3 hour and she said we'd just accucheck me at my next appt and if it was high go from there.

When i check out they tell me (the front desk) that since its my 30 week appt and i'm trying to vbac after 2 c's that protocol is that i see the ob for my next appt. Fine. I schedule with him.

So i go in today and they accucheck me and its 86 so i figure right on i'm good to go. The doc comes in and the first thing he says is "so you're here to see me because you want to vbac and youre refusing the glucose test". I told him i thought I was seeing him because i wanted to vbac yes, but not because of the glucose test. (btw, he never even introduced the student he brought in with him till i asked before the guy went to measure my belly).

He then badgers me for ten minutes about how protocol is that if anyones blood sugar was as high as mine they do the three hour. I told him bout how i'd blown the test by eating bread and jam and he said i never was sposed to fast for the one hour, and that even if HE ate ten candy bars his blood sugar wouldn't be that high and that if i wanted to have a healthy baby i should be doing the right thing and having the test and not declining cuz its inconvenient for me. He went on and on to the point that i really started to feel like i was going to lose it and start bawling right there and then. He basically insinuated that with my mom being diabetic and my "advanced maternal age" and my high blood sugar that i'd be negligent and have a huge baby that i'd never vbac.

If i'd be prepared for the onslaught maybe i couldn't been more secure and calm and under control with my answers. But i feel like i was blindsighted. I wasn't prepared for the verbal assault. I started to fight back and he basically said "look i'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, but if you dont' want whats best for your baby... " and i said "you ARE making me do something i don't want to do and i'm not sure that fasting for 16 hours while my blood is checked every half hour is whats best for my baby". i asked him how they'd "manage" me differently if i declined and he said that he wasn't sure they'd continue to work with me at all if i declined. as i was verging on tears i finally said 'fine, i'll do the test'.

that of course made him very happy and the appt continued tho i was fighting back tears.

so now i go in on wednesday for a 3 hour test that i'm sure will take four. I fast all night and then go in at 7:30am - most likely with my 13 year old, 3 year old and the 15mo old i watch. To spend the day at the lab.

i've been crying for half an hour now since i got in the car. I feel so betrayed. The office staff for telling me to fast when i didnt' need to. The midwife for telling me it would be ok. The whole practice for setting me up with the OB knowing he'd badger me about the test . And now i have to go take this test and have myself all worked up cuz maybe i AM diabetic? maybe it WAS too high and i'm being negligent to my baby by not having done it last week?

i left a msg for the midwife who wasn't in today. I feel like i need to talk to her before my next appt cuz even tho i'm taking this test maybe i need to work with someone somewhere else. I want to talk to her. I want her to explain to me why this went down the way it did.

I'm just so freaking upset. and THIS can't be good for me or my baby.

thanks for listening.
i know i can manage the 3 hour and now i have to just to prove to myself that i'm not diabetic. even with the 3 kids and the fasting. i just am angry and hurt and upset that i was treated this way.
post #2 of 21
Well, that bites! I know there have been good links posted here about the fallacy of the thinking behind GD, but all that aside, even if they decided that you had GD, wouldn't they just manage it with diet? Couldn't you just decline the test and tell them you would adhere to the GD diet, which is a pretty healthy one from what I understand? I know others who have done this and not bothered with the 3 hour.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this terrible treatment, though. It is really maddening. I was reading something in The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, where the author talked about how doctors will use the "don't you care about the health of your baby" tack to try and impose their standard of care on you. It makes me angry anyway, the idea that it is these "big" babies that can't come out vaginally, when it is the darn procedures that the hospitals and obstetricians use that are mostly responsible.
post #3 of 21
I am so sorry they did that to you... with my pg with my son, I had GD, I was told before I took the one hr no eating or drinking after midnight, and I failed the test, with the 3 hr was the samething, no eating or drinking after midnight, and they draw the blood every hr, my advice to you, is see if the midwife will let you retake the 1 hr, and see if you fail that again, my whole pg I managed to stay off insulin, and did it all by diet control, I got the SugarBusters book, and cut out my sugar from that, I allowed myself a certain amount of sugar aday, So I wouldnt go too crazy...

goodluck to you, have you had a ultrasound? is the baby measuring big at all?
post #4 of 21
I just went through something similar, and did my 3 hour test yesterday.

It made me feel better that 85% of the women that go on to take the 3 hour test will test in the "normal" range.

As soon as I get the results, I am going to stop going to the HMO and stick with the midwives I will use for a homebirth. I thought I could just go get the bloodwork done and establish with the HMO and it would be smooth sailing... lol

I am sorry you had such rotten treatment.
post #5 of 21
that really sucks! I hope your m/w can answer your questions. What is up with setting you up like that???? ARGH>

post #6 of 21
I'm sorry that they did that to you. Have you started looking for a new practice?? If it was me, I would not show up for the test (since you didn't want it anyway) and find a new back up Dr.

What they did was appalling.

I fired my own Dr while I was inpatient in the hospital for threatening me with surgery if I wouldn't have his test. You do not need to tolerate this kind of behavior.
post #7 of 21
I experienced tremendous brow-beating during my first pregnancy. One doctor freaked out when she saw I was vegan and claimed that my diet would kill my baby. She implored me to drink milk. I told her that was not going to happen. She slammed the file on the counter and stormed out. She complained to another doctor in the hall who told her my diet was fine.

BUT, they sent in a psychologist to make sure I wasn't a threat to my baby for being vegan. Lordy.

Anyway, I'm so sorry you went through this. doctors can be very intimidating, especially when they don't know you well and could possibly be "showing off" in front of the student.

You'll probably pass the 3 hour test no problem if it's any consolation.
post #8 of 21
BUT, they sent in a psychologist to make sure I wasn't a threat to my baby for being vegan. Lordy.
OMG! My jaw dropped when I read that! If anything, I think veg*ns (other than the Diet Coke and french fry variety...) are better educated in nutrition than most doctors. My OB last time (whom I fired at 7 mo) never knew I was a vegetarian because she *never* asked me about my diet. All she cared about was whether or not I was taking the stupid chemical laden prenatals she had prescribed (I wasn't because they made me really sick--I told her that, but she didn't give me any other options).

Colorful Mama-
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Your Dr. sounds like a jerk. I would fire him now and find someone else. You are not married to your OB or midwife. It will be so much more difficult for you to have a healthy birth if you are not totally comfortable with those attending you. Good luck to you. It's obvious you care a lot about your own health as well as your baby's. You're both going to do great.

peace, Beth
post #9 of 21
It's your body, your baby, your birth. NO ONE can make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm so sorry that you were treated that way, that wasn't right at all. If anything, people should be more sensitive to pregnant women than insensitive! What a JERK!

I hope your midwife can reassure you and work with what YOU want to do. If it were me I would cancel the appointment and tell them you will reschedule after you check your calendar or something. It's not like that OB is your main provider anyway. If your midwife is fine with it I say don't do the test unless you really want to have it done.

You know your body THE BEST of anyone, your heart will tell you the right thing to do! And we'll be here to support your decisions no matter what choice you make!!

Let us know how it turns out, and again I'm so sorry that happened to you.
post #10 of 21
That is awful! Please find a new doctor. That is totally unnaceptable and he should not be allowed to be like that. If I were in your place I would not show up for the test and find a new doc pronto.
So sorry you had to deal with this jerk
post #11 of 21

I went through the same thing with my OB and his residents/medical students. My homebirth midwife advised me NEVER to go to any doc appt. alone. How assertive can we be lying exposed in stirrups (in my case it was an irregular pap) or baring your beautiful belly in front of students whose presence you probably did not even give consent for!!!!

Pregnancy makes us all emotional and a bit more vulnerable. I am so sorry you went through this. Take your mom, sister, or a trusted friend next time so they can serve as your advocate!
post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 

hi there.

to answer a couple questions.

i did ask if i could retake the 1 hour not fasting and he told me, no that is not the protocol. I am going to ask my mw when i talk to her hopefully tomorrow. I also did ask if i coudln't just follow the gd diet (which i've been doing since my appt two weeks ago. not the 2000calorie part but certainly the increased protein decreased carbs/sugar part)...He told me no. (i think its to cover his ass for insurance and liability)

i can't switch to a new practice. i already checked and because i'm on arizonas medicaid program i can't change health plans till their open enrollment which will occur after my baby is born. In this health plan this is the only practice with midwives adn i know if i switch to an ob it would just be worse.

what other ?'s did you ask. Oh, yes i had an u/s at 20 weeks and the baby measured totally normal for his "age". I am 30 wks saturday and my belly is measureing 32-33wks but i've been ahead the entire pregnancy.

this is my 3rd pregnancy and i reminded him that my children were at 40wks 7lbs 13oz and at 38wks 7lbs 6oz so i'm not new at this and have small/normal size babies. he "reminded me" that i'm 38 and my mother was diabetic and things change.

luckily he is NOT my primary caregiver, my midwife is. I'm going to let her know how unhappy i am with what happened adn that i dont' want to see him again. If i DO end up needing a cesarean i really don't want this jerk doing the surgery. But i'm not going to need the surgery anyway, right??

My dh is furious that he wasn't there with me and will be joining me at our next appointment. especially since he was there two weeks ago when Suzanne (the mw) told us both that the accuchecks every two weeks and the gd diet would be just fine.

I can't change practices... but i'll never see that ob again and will be following up in writing now that i'm a bit more calm. Man, i'm not one to be bullied usually, but it stirred up old fear issues.

my mother (the anniversary of her death is june 9th) died of heart disease and diabetic related problems. I have a very big fear of diabetis and i think he preyed on that. Plus i've gained "too much " weight (per myself) and that set me off as well. I started out 40lbs overweight and wanted to only gain 30lbs or so like i did with my last baby. I'm already up to 27lbs at 30wks so thats blown. And i know its ok, my body is handling this baby differently and i shouldn't be concerned if i'm healthy, but my old fat issues are up now.

Was just a no good very bad day. thanks for the support
post #13 of 21
You sound like you are in control now. Great job getting a hold of yourself and doing what you need to do. Wonderful choice to not see the man again and write him up.
Just remember, you are the customer. I hate when medical clinics pull the "We won't see you if you don't kiss our butt" stuff. It is such a reversal. I mean we pay them. They are employed by us.
Anyway, good luck to you!
post #14 of 21
If you really feel unable to change practitioners, then at least be sure to get a second opinion (from a midwife, hopefully an independent midwife) before consenting to anything else. Good luck!
post #15 of 21
FWIW, maybe your midwife didn't ambush you..........you talked, she noted "refused 3 hour" on the chart cause that's how they note these things, she HAS to note it that way, she can hardly say, "Patient talked me out of ordering three hour" and the *ss h*le ob saw it and ran with it....

I'm really really sorry, and I'm not offering this up to try to talk you out of being upset......but maybe as a way of approaching your midwife, cause if you'r stuck with her, you're stuck with her,......yanno? Might as well make the best of it.

That said, I had gd and my midwife was a JERK...and the ob I switched to couldn't have been better. I got everything I wanted and then some....so......maybe it's worth calling around?

I hope you feel better soon.
post #16 of 21
I hope everything goes the way tou want it to tommorrow
post #17 of 21
Wow, it sounds like you did stay in control. Kudos to you!

No matter what you need to talk to this dr. He definitely used a bully approach and I agree with the idea that you are the customer and so often Dr.s forget this. You need to be collaborating not the Dr. telling you what to do with no input. You have your reasons for not wanting to fast and it sounds like there was a lot of miscommunication.

No matter what I would let him know (this is me personally talking) that it was _completely_ inappropriate for him to say or even insinuate that you were not doing what was best for your baby. That's absolutely Ridiculous and nothing good can come of that. You deserve to be treated with respect. I tend to do better in letters, that way I can remember everything I wanted to say and try to word it the most appropriately.

I did this once with a Dr. who I felt had treated me poorly and not given me the type of tx I felt my son deserved. So I wrote the head doctor of the practice and cc'd her. I received a phone call two weeks later saying that she had "never gotten such a letter and profusely apologized." But I felt like it was something that the practice needed to discuss b/c I was thoroughly fed up with being pat on the head like I was some ignoramous who didn't have a college education and could do research independently of med school.

Good luck and I would seriously consider switching practices if for no other reason than it being very uncomfortable seeing that dr. again and heaven forbid that he deliver your baby. Imagine all the negative feelings you have associated with him.

PS I delivered ds with a doctor and had a wonderful experience. He was so completely ameniable to my birth plan (very hands off for him) and I had someone act as a doula which took the place of a midwife. So don't be totally distraught at the idea of a Dr. Mine was a D.O. and was certified in _____ manipulation (can't remember the first word right now) and was fairly young but not too new. I felt like he was familiar with alternative approaches and not set in his old dr. ways.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 

hey ladies

heres my post on what happened today ..


update on the ambush appt - talked to my mw today

she was pretty pissed off at how he talked to me and the fact that he basically insinuated she wasn't doing her job.

she said that if i'd seen her she may still have recommended we do the 3 hour just for everyones peace of mind but that its about how he spoke to me. That if looking at all the information and me as a whole person she was still concerned she might have requested i do the test just for our own reassurance as a "team" that all was well.

i suggested that he was throwing his weight around for the student ,not because of me but to show the student how superior the ob is to the midwife and i just got caught in the middle. she agreed and told me she would be speaking with him about the way I was approached, bullied and intimidated and about how he basically undermined her relationship with her patient. that we had a plan and were working together. She said that the reason I was sposed to meet with him was in the event of a surgical birth I'd know him, he was not sposed to even discuss my file with me, the gd tests or anything.

i told her that if necessary i'll meet one of the other ob's cuz i want it documented that i don't want HIM cutting me in the event of surgical birth.

all around, she was really supportive. kept apologizing to me that it happened at all. that he was just sposed to get to know me in the event of surgical birth. not confront me on my choices

we talked a bit about my issues revolving around my mothers diabetes and death (with her anniversary coming up une 9th) and about my weight issues and how measuring my food drives me batty as it brings up all my old self-image/body image stuff. I talked about how upset and stressed i was yesterday because i felt all the strength and power i'd been accumulating over the months , all the fear release work, all the body image work was just trashed. All my power about my knowledge of my body was being questioned again. kwim?

she calmed me down and reminded me that even if the test comes back bad they wont' start insulin right away, they'll just have me continue the diet that i'm already doing . That we'll spend some time at my next appointment doing some more fear release and rebuilding my confidence because i WILL vbac this baby with GD or not.

as long as I've scheduled the test she thinks I should just go for it so we can all feel better next week when it comes back perfectly normal.

anyway. wow i'm longwinded. thanks for the support ladies.
post #19 of 21
Here is an interesting article about GD by Henci Goer (author of The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth):

post #20 of 21
Thread Starter 

thank you

thats the best article i've seen so far. i'm printing it off now and will be delivering it to the office when i go in next. i plan to copy it to the midwife i'm seeing and have a copy given to the ob from hell as well
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