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Weekly Thread March 12-18 - Page 3

post #41 of 55
WhiteWax: I'm glad you're getting angry about things, and maybe coming to acceptance of yourself and seeing how your ex is not the one if he's not going to be there for you. I hope the new living situation works out.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I sort of agree and disagree about the weight thing. On the one hand, being open with yourself and the one who should support you no matter what is important. It's sort of like AA too (which I don't believe is for everyone, but helps many people) where you have to totally acknowledge the problem without hiding anything.

That being said, it sounds like the therapist did not react in a supportive way to you. Did he explain why he thought it was a good idea? Did he allow you to explain your fears, etc. I don't think (IMHO) you need another person (male especially, but sorry if I'm assuming too much) being demanding and/or bossy. I think you need someone to draw out all the strengths that we on this board know you have since you're already a great mama!

Anyway, sorry for the advice/support if it's unwanted. I just thought it important to comment on the therapist's actions...
post #42 of 55
hi everyone,
i have had a few crazy busy weeks, so i haven't posted much, but i have tried to keep up on the reading.

had the first family brawl with my SOL this week re: my dh's mother coming to the hospital. i just dont' wnat her there. she's very conservative when it comes to birth and breastfeeding (pretty much against natural birth and not too into bf-ing), and i think that having her there might just drive me beserk. i brought this up with dh, who agreed. my therapist says just wait and bring it up when we're in labor, but dh thought we should be more forward. well, that totally exploded in our faces. of course, i'm to blame for all these feelings, even though dh totally agrees with me. so, i learned this week that we're just not going to talk about any of this stuff with his family. my family lives 500+ miles away and my mom isn't planning on coming up b/c she's "too busy" this summer. ugh. i'm just getting it from both ends. i wish we lived super far away from all of them!

i'd been wicked sleepy and started taking this liquid iron that i took after my miscarriage last may and it changed my life. i feel so much better. i keep having dreams that i'm not prego anymore, which are kinda freaking me out. the baby is kicking like a rockette, so i'm sure she's in there, but those dreams haunt me.

yesterday's "winter storm" here in NYC cancelled my flight to sunny, warm colorado and i had to carry my suitcase all the way home from teh subway b/c the wheels wouldn't roll in teh snow. today i'm a little sore. boo.

i just want to rearrage the apt and get our goods and set up. we need to wait until it's warm enough to open the windows and paint, though. i feel like there's so much to do!

and, as in someone else's post this week, i am so totally in love with this baby. i can't wait to meet her, even if she ends up in therapy one day b/c of her mom!
post #43 of 55
That's *IF* you can reach your shoes in two weeks!!!

That's what I think of that reminder, missy!

You sound like you're doing better, WW, even with the unsupportive therapist. A PP had the right questions; I hope you can find your answers.

and, as in someone else's post this week, i am so totally in love with this baby. i can't wait to meet her, even if she ends up in therapy one day b/c of her mom!
Don't we all? (rhetorical question) I figure as long as I make entirely different mistakes from my parents, I'm doing ok! I know exactly what you mean about the waves of love - we went to a clinic for the 4d ultrasound this past Thursday, and we were both crying messes when we saw our litle girl for the first time. And what wild baby pictures for her book!

I put them up on a webpage for our families to see - they're in different cities, so most of our updates are done over the internet. If anyone wants to see what a 3D/4D ultrasound looks like in general, and/or what our little girl looks like in specific, you can find the pics here.
post #44 of 55
Thanks for the reminders on avoiding negative stories and surrounding ourselves with positive birth stories, I *know* that is what I should be doing but sometimes I just need to hear someone else say it for it to sink in. From now until the birth I will ONLY surround myself with positive birth stories.

Whitewax:I'm sorry therapy isn't helping much and I'm not sure what the benefit of disclosing your weight was either. I hope the therapy at least helps you a little, even if it does not save your relationship. I saw your picture in your link and I think you are a beautiful mama, so who cares what your ex DP thinks! He doesn't deserve you if he cannot appreciate you for how you are!

Corri:Thanks for sharing those pics! They are amazing. You have a beautiful little one. It's amazing to see how developed our babies are at this point!

I was talking to DP's mom today and when she asked how much longer I answered a little over 11 weeks, then stopped and realized that time is running out. I cannot believe that in 8 weeks I will be considered "term" (37 weeks). That is less than 2 months. OMG, where is the time going?! YIKES!
post #45 of 55
I'm all about positive birth stories! I'm doing the hypnobabies program, I never watch those TV shows...including the midwife one which always drives me nutty, and normally things are fine. But I wasn't expecting that article in Mothering!

To move on to the silly side of life though...

So our evening went sort of sideways...due to the storm the store was closed when we got there, so we slid home to cobble together a dinner of oven baked potato fries (with olive oil, salt, and rosemary), cheese, and home made soda bread (using what we had in the cabinets already...so slightly modified but still yummy).

Then as we put things in the oven we got a call...a friend had gone off the road a few miles away and totaled her car, could we come get her? So off went Dh, leaving me with the dinner in the oven (and you should all know that I can't cook worth poo...I'm the person who brings jello to the potluck) and a very unhappy toddler ("dada come baaaaaaaaaack!" for about 45 minutes). He brought our friend back and she had made him stop at a super store on the way. So they came in with Guiness, a giant stuffed duck for DD (it's as big as she is), and a bag of chocolates for me! And of course we then had to wait for the people she's living with to come and pick her up (she and her partner split up two days ago after a 6 year relationship and she's staying with other friends while things get sorted out).

So anyway, what was going to be a quiet Irish themed night at home turned into a silly gathering of 6 with Guiness, fresh soda bread, and, of all things, Thai curry brought by the "company". And dd was up way past her bedtime playing with a duck and eating curry.

Friends, laughter, and giant ducks. Spring is on the way!
post #46 of 55
Well, we've got an energy audit guy coming today to do a blower door test and help us determine what improvements might be most cost- and energy-efficient for our house.

Frankly, I'm just sick to death of getting estimates and I want to decide what we're doing and GET IT DONE!

I hate feeling like a flake because I go back and forth on which project(s) will make the biggest improvement in our life for our budget. At the same time, DH assures me that we've already put 20 times more thought into this than average people would, so we are really in good shape whatever we do.

I think I've decided NOT to try to do the project I most wanted before the baby arrives--adding a 1/2 bath on the main floor--because we are really worried about a) tearing into walls and possibly stirring up lead/etc. while I am pregnant and DS and I are home all day every day, b) it is smack dab in the middle of our main living space which is a huge adjustment for a first major remodel, and c) it is the most expensive and most complex project, and because of that we need to allow eight weeks to get it done (3 weeks of working, the rest to deal with scheduling subcontractors), and the earliest anyone could start is the 2nd week of April, putting us too close for comfort to my due date.

So we're going to start with the kitchen and if we love the contractor we think we're choosing as much as we think we will, then we'll have him do the powder room project while I am in Oregon for 4-6 weeks with the kids next December (2007) or summer (2008)!

So there.

(who isn't really as flaky as she feels about this project!)
post #47 of 55
Originally Posted by Corri View Post

That's what I think of that reminder, missy!
:nana: I just keep my shoes permanetly tiedand slip them on! I can't WAIT for flip flop weather! lol

Originally Posted by Jilian View Post
...time is running out. I cannot believe that in 8 weeks I will be considered "term" (37 weeks). That is less than 2 months. OMG, where is the time going?! YIKES!
OOOO boy!

Thanks and I'm mulling over in my head every ones comments about the terapist... I think I'm going to give him another session or two and see how things go... I suppose he's human too and maybe he just wasn't thinking kwim? lol am I too forgiving of people?

Wombat....Love the ducky experience! sounds fab!

I'm terribly tired but so uncomfortable I can't seem to sleep right now... it's *only* 11:10 pm but DD has been getting up at 6:30 am (not fun!!!) and I find myself very dizzy if I dont have enough sleep in me! My hips are really killing me lately also...

OOOOO a few thoughts/topics/rants

*Doing Dishes- any one else having trouble reaching the sink because of your belly?

*How many times are you up to pee at night? I'm at two times a night right now 2am and 5am... like clock work!

*Shaving?!?!?!? This is a joke right? At least it's winter!

Ok I'm going to try to go to bed now.... night night every one!
post #48 of 55
WhiteWax, I just wanted to say that I think the therapist was out of line. The actual number isn't relevant - only your perception of your weight and your (ex)partner's perception matter. If you both agree that you're overweight, then there's no reason to attach a number to it. The only reason the number would matter is if you were seeking help specifically to work on your weight, or if you disagreed about the existence of a weight problem, which doesn't seem to be the case.

If he asks you another question that you'd prefer not to answer, might I suggest that you respond by asking (as politely as you can force yourself to) what will be gained by sharing that particular piece of information. If his answer makes sense to you, then share, by all means. If not, then you can (and should) refuse if you wish without remorse.

It's true that therapists are human, and make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that you need to simply accept his mistakes without question or comment!
post #49 of 55
*Doing Dishes- any one else having trouble reaching the sink because of your belly?

*How many times are you up to pee at night? I'm at two times a night right now 2am and 5am... like clock work!

*Shaving?!?!?!? This is a joke right? At least it's winter!
I'm really lucky in that DH took over dish duty entirely a couple of years ago - I hate doing the dishes and he doesn't mind it, so I traded off vacuuming (which he loathes) and scrubbing the bathroom (ditto). I figure I win, 'cause those are only weekly chores, and dishes are every day.

I'm usually up twice a night to pee - once if I've remembered to be careful about not drinking too much in the two hours before bed. But since we've got a bad habit of having a cuppa tea about an hour before bedtime every night (I married a Brit; what can I say? Boy needs his tea), it's usually twice.

As for shaving - maybe once a week? The most frustrating thing about having the cast on, other than needing help getting my bra hooked on in the mornings, was not being able to shave my pits. I know a lot of women are perfectly happy never shaving, and that's fine by me if it's fine by them, but I'm not one of 'em! Legs I can take or leave in non-shorts/skirts months, but for me, having hairy pits makes me feel really uncomfortable and ungroomed.
post #50 of 55
My only shaving tip is for after the baby is born. Buy those razors where the blades come wrapped with the shaving lotion (in bar form)--I think they are called Intuition? I could NEVER get my armpits shaved (and I'm exactly like PP--legs don't worry me unless they're showed off, but armpits feel funky when hairy) when DS was a newborn until I bought one of those razors. Yes, it is more $$$ per shave, but it was the only way I made it happen.

I think, if I cared about my (admittedly not very) hairy legs in winter, I would consider waxing (done by someone else) at this point. Or maybe you could do it more easily dry with an electric shaver, like sitting down on the toilet with your leg resting on the edge of the tub? That's how I can still clip my toenails, though I'm hoping to splurge on a pedicure soon.

I do have one of those epilators--like automated tweezers in a shaver body--that I love for keeping my armpits less hairy. My hair is very fine, so I think a lot of them break off instead of getting pulled out, but about 75% are removed at the root, so shaving becomes less urgent. I epilate about every 2 weeks and shave my underarms about every 2-3 days during the second week. I usually do my legs, too, about once a month, and otherwise ignore them unless I'm wearing nylons (instead of my usual opaque tights) 'cuz I'm really just not very hairy.

I'm more about sweat catching in the hairs and being smelly (since I don't use aluminum-containing antiperspirant) than I am about perfectly smooth looking pits. While I'm not extremely religious, the modesty code I follow for religious reasons is not to show my torso in any provocative way to anyone except my husband. The wearing of sleeves to cover to the elbows rule that many Orthodox Jewish women follow is actually designed as overkill lest a loose, short-sleeve allow a glimpse of the torso! I'm not strict, so, if it is hot, I'll wear a tank-top, but I usually wear a scarf/shawl and/or carefully keep my arms down if I do...

Wow. More than anyone EVER wanted to know about my hair removal routine, I'm sure...

post #51 of 55
post #52 of 55
Originally Posted by WhiteWax View Post
*Doing Dishes- any one else having trouble reaching the sink because of your belly?
Dishes are excruiating, and so is all of the dinner prep I used to do with such ease. I recently made the request that my husband empty and load at least the bottom part of the washer every morning. He's an "exceed expectations" kind of guys so this is how I get him to do the whole thing . For dinner prep, I now do most of it sitting down if I can.

Originally Posted by WhiteWax View Post
How many times are you up to pee at night?
Believe it or not, I'm up 5-7 times a night going pee. I usually pee a lot for the first five hours and then it tapers off by the early morning. I wake up with my husband around 6:30 and eat breakfast, then I go back to bed and sleep for a solid two hours. That is the best sleep ever!

Originally Posted by WhiteWax View Post
I'm a hairball. I shave whatever I can reach every Friday because by the time a week goes by my husband starts wondering where his wife is and who let the strange dog in the house...
post #53 of 55

stay positive

I read a really good book, with hypnobirthing in the title...of course I can't find it right now!! But the big message in it is stay positive, don't watch those tlc channel birth horror stories or listen to other women who are more than happy to share their traumatic stories of their births. At this point you are just stressing your self out. Plus the authors stand is fear and pain are connected, which gets off subject a little but I think also blend together. I programed my self (which is the root of hypnotherapy) to avoid such conversations and even had a little trouble finishing reading the posts I am talking to.
Stay positve like the other Momma said and know how well you are taking care of yourself. You have come this far, be happy as you approach your birth!! Say no to stress, which is what we do when we subject ourselves to traumatic stories at this point.
Peace and Love to your babies!!
post #54 of 55
every time i do the dishes i leave the sink with a wet patch (pretty large) on my belly. i pee once a night around 3am. i have had that great pelvic floor soreness and feels like i rode a bike for 100 miles. my freinds say i'm starting to waddle...already? i'm only 26 weeks!

i am so ready for flip flops. my feel will cry in ecstacy when that weather arrives!
post #55 of 55
I'm already mourning my delicious strappy sandals that I probably won't get to wear this year at all. Three-inch narrow heels + newborn don't mix. I do have a few invoices out to clients that are due to be paid really soon, so I think it's time to go find myself some fun wedge-heel mary janes for the spring. I did splurge (as in, $40) and bought myself an adorable little backpack purse on the weekend; I'll be able to wear that and my baby girl at the same time, unlike my big short-strap over-the-arm bag from the fall.

The way some women are with shoes, I am with purses. Love 'em. I'd be the Imelda Marcos of purses if I was a rich as Bill Gates! As it is, $50 is usually my spending limit, and I try to wear the old one out before getting new. Honest! The one I just replaced was held together with duct tape on the inside.

And our house is just seething with unrestrained fertility nowadays; our guppies had babies! Eight of them! DH managed to get them into the nursery tank before they got sucked into the filter, but any litters after this one are on their own. Anyone want guppie fry?
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