Fertility issues and pregnant friends

[Logan's mommy]

I just found out another one of my friends is pregnant. Dh and I are facing some fertility issues right now, but we would really love to have a baby in our lives. I'm very happy for my friend, however, I'm sad because I wish that was me. It seem that all of my friends are either preg, or have had a baby not too long ago. Some times it's hard to talk to them because they are all so happy about their babes to be. I just want to know that there are other people out there feeling the same thing as me. Thank you all for your kind words.

[girlie1125]

I definitely feel the same way. A good friend of ours is pg with #3, and really seems like she could care less. She's looking forward to the baby and all, but *just* went for her first prenatal appointment at around 14 weeks. Hasn't even looked at names, etc. Just very blase about the whole thing. Irritates me. Depresses me, too. Keep hoping it'll be my turn soon.

It will be. And yours, too .

[Logan's mommy]

Thank you and to you too. I knew I wasn't the only one that felt this way, it's just very reasuring to have someone say something other than "It will be ok" kwim? I hope both our times come very soon.

[kristenok18]

Oh, I'm so sorry! I've written a couple of rants here about hearing other people's good news. It's so hard to be happy for someone else when you are hurting so badly. And how do you express that to people who don't understand? My mom still thinks I resent my sister for getting pg again, no matter how many times I've tried to explain it. Ugh.

[girlie1125]

I think what makes it even worse is that we have told NO ONE about ttc. Not even our parents. We don't want to have to deal with telling people when "things just didn't work out" in a given month, and knowing our friends and family, we'd get some of the "but...why? you already have children?" comments. :

If they knew, they would probably try to 'shield' us from some of their pg news, but for us its not worth the judging we'd get for being so insane as to want another child, almost 10 years after either of us had our first as teenagers.

For some reason though, if I hear of someone who's been ttc'ing a while getting pg, it doesn't bother me...it gives me hope. And I can be genuinely happen for those folks.

[Logan's mommy]

I love my friend to death and she and her dh did want 3 kids, however, not so close in age. They weren't ttc or anything. They have a 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old. I am happy for them really, but I'm hurting a lot at the same time. My best friend is also preg, but she has had some reproductive problems of some sort in the past. For a while she thought she would be unable to get preg, so it's easy to be excited for her. I'm having a hard time getting people around me to understand how I feel. I don't think dh really understands either. Thanks for listening and understanding me, it really helps and makes me feel a smidge better.

[girlie1125]

I think it makes it especially hard to see others getting pg and not necessarily being thrilled about it, like your friend. I almost want to grab them and shake them and say "Give it to me! I'll take being pg if you aren't absolutely THRILLED with it like I will be!!!!"

Not that I begrudge anyone their fertility. Or at least, not that I should. I probably do. But it just upsets me when some people are SO fertile that not only do they have no problem getting pg with #1, or #2, but they get pg without even trying for #3 or 4 and are upset about it. I guess its just the opposite situation of most of us.

*sigh*. I know that others don't seem to understand. DP tries to be sympathetic, but I don't think she completely understands, either.

Hang in there. We do understand, come vent/cry/yell anytime .

[booja's mom]

I wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. My best friend has a 1 year old and is pg again with her 2nd. All this in the time we have been ttc. She called me to complain about how she feel pg with out wanting 2. I then promptly hang up the phone. We have been good friends for a long time and she completely undertood my reaction and we laughed about it later.

It's not easy for me either dealing with other pg women. Altough I am happy for them I am also resentful .... i know that's horrible but I can't help it.

It's hard for people to understand where we are coming from I know DH was in denial for a while and we told a couple of people that just were not supportive but we did find people like my friend who understand and support us quite a bit. I hope you find that person for you and DH.

Hang in there!!!! and vent any time you like.