Pressure from OB concerning VBAC, any advice? - Page 2

[heidi_m]

Originally Posted by MommytoTwo

Unless finding another provider is an option I would be very honest and say "I know that ultrasound weight measurements are very innacurate and I know that induction increases my rate of u/r , where as being overdue does not."
Then he can go on and on and you can nod and say ok thanks I'll think about it and then not answer the phone.

ITA!! In your shoes I think I would just stay away until I knew I was in labor - he can't do anything to you if you're not there for him to mess with!

Good luck and stick to your guns, sister! Sending successful VBAC vibes your way... and Grrrr-ing : over your doc, too.

Oh, and btw, my third baby was a wonderful HBAC after successful hospital VBAC w #2; c/s w #1 was failed induction due to AROM without my consent or prior knowledge!... ANYway, my second was 8lbs3oz (seven days "late") but this last little guy was 10 lbs 8 oz and ELEVEN days "late"... your body knows what it's doing - don't let your doc pressure you and don't worry about baby's size.

Heidi

[FreeThinkinMama]

My first was supposed to be 9 lbs and I was pressured into an induction. She was 7.14 With my second I declined any ultrasound guesstimates or NST tests as they're not very accurate. I suppose if I would have gone 2 weeks past my due date I would have considered them then. My ds was almost 9 lbs but I had no problems birthing him, its a good thing I declined the guesstimate! I was able to go into labor on my own, well I did get down on my hands and knees and scrub the bathroom and kitchen floors. Talk about nesting LOL And I was taking evening primrose oil tablets 2000mg orally a day but that's it.

Both weight and fluid estimates can be inaccurate, I wouldn't induce for those reasons if I were you. When he said he couldn't induce that sounds to me like he would be then pressuring you into a c-section after such and such date. EEK! Run the other way fast, get a midwife or something. Thats what I did when my OB started making me nervous.

Originally Posted by Kbrinkley

Ok, my ob called me yesterday and decided he wanted me to come in for a non stress test and ultrasound (keep in mind, I'm not "due" until Monday 19).

My fluid was on the "low side of normal" but ok, and the baby is now measuring 9lb 12oz by ultrasound (keep in mind less than two weeks ago it was measuring 8lb 3oz...strange).

He was putting lots of pressure on me saying that this baby is "only going to keep getting bigger" and that "once it reaches 4500 grams (10lbs) via ultrasound that he will not be able to induce me"...so what does that mean, he'll drop me as his patient? He didn't say that but he really wanted me to go to the hospital NOW.

I feel so pressured. We scheduled to be seen on monday for another NST and ultrasound...he wants me to be induced Wednesday 21.

I am already 5cm and contract all the time but labor hasn't kicked in yet. I am so discouraged. I wanted a natural birth. I feel like if I let him rupture my membranes that my anxiety level will be up, I will be less focused on the natural aspect of the labor and more likely to make decisions like "epidural" or "pitocin"......I guess lots of nipple stim this weekend and lots of sex...maybe we'll go into labor. I am also scared now because they've told me I have this "big" baby...so I feel like natural labor is going to be sooooo much more painful than it would be if the baby was tiny....I wish I could have a midwife :

Anyone have a similar experience and have any advice?

[CrunchyBikerMama]

I'm so sorry that your OB is scaring you with the idea of a big baby. I gave birth 12 days ago to a 10 lb 4 oz baby. He is my second baby over 10 lbs. It was a short labor and a beautiful birth. It makes me crazy when OBs try to scare women into thinking that they can't possibly push out the baby that their body has grown. The overwhelming odds are that your body will grow the size of baby that you are physically capable of giving birth to. Please don't be scared of the idea of having a big baby. Chances are good that the u/s is off and that your baby is not 9 lbs., but even if it is 9 lbs., have confidence in your body. You can do it. Best of luck.

[laohaire]

I'm guessing from lack of updates that the OP is in labor or has birthed, one way or another

Hope everything went well!!!!!!! Wishing lots of luck and serenity and positive baby-birthing!

[Kbrinkley]

Laohaire,

Thanks for checking in....no baby. I am now 1 day post EDD....

Get this- I called and canceled my Monday appointment and declined induction. The Dr. called me back and said "fine" but basically begged me to come in for another u/s and NST. I was so hesitant but thought whatever, to get them off my back I'll go.

The lady who did the "9lb 12 oz" ultrasound was a nurse. On monday, a different lady did my ultrasound, she was an ultrasound tech, doing it for YEARS, her measurement was 8lbs...and just think if I had of done an induction last week. I would have been ticked. The ultrasoundographer?? said "there's no way that baby is almost 10lbs, I don't know where they got 9lbs 12 oz." She even spoke privately with the doctor and he was like "well that relieves a lot of stress". I was like, "just let me out of here, I'm sick of this."

And, one last thing. He stripped my membrane yesterday without asking or telling me: . The only way I knew he did it was after asking him what he just did and he told me. I bled alot and had HORRIBLE contx for 8 hours last night (8mis apt, never got closer). I have had some tonight...I know they'll go away.

[ckhagen]

Oh wow... he stripped your membranes without your consent?????
This madness has GOT to stop. Please, please report him for that. He'll keep doing it to all the women after you unless he's forced to stop.

[aylaanne]

You are the third person i've heard of in the last two weeks who has had a nonconsenting SOM. File a police report, please. Just file it, you don't have to press charges but if the report is there and someone else does press charges there's the evidence that this man ASSAULTS WOMEN. What he did is sexual assault. Period. There is no other way to describe it.

God that scares me so bad that people do this. I'm so glad I have midwives who are self-described "hands-off".

[roadfamily6now]

Good for you! I also agree with reporting this man! THe nerve.

From now on decline ALL internal exams. There is no need for them anyway.

Just rest, gestate in peace and baby will be here soon!

I have gone over due with the last 4 of my 5 babies and expect this one to be late as well. Nothing makes me happier then to just flow with it.

Have a nice relaxed birth.

[skyblufig]

I CANNOT BELIEVE he stripped your membranes without asking you for consent beforehand! Abominable! You're easily the 6th or 7th person I've heard this happened to just in the last 2 weeks! I am so sorry that happened to you -- but please report him to whatever hospital he has privs at, the insurance company, the police, the ACOG. Man, this p*****me off and it didn't even happen to me [this time]. What is with these HCPs just doing whatever they want to do?!

Sorry I will jump off my box now...

Hugs to you, mama -- I'd run from this guy if it were me.

[jenmidwife2b]

I agree with everyone else, report this guy. I have had this happen to clients as well and it is not right. A doctor has no right to perform SOM without your express informed consent. It carries risks and you have been assaulted. At the very least, report him to his chief of staff and ACOG.

[<<>>]

Originally Posted by jenmidwife2b

I agree with everyone else, report this guy. I have had this happen to clients as well and it is not right. A doctor has no right to perform SOM without your express informed consent. It carries risks and you have been assaulted. At the very least, report him to his chief of staff and ACOG.

:
Having that done require concent !!! I can not believe he did that without asking !!!:::

I am glad to hear that you dc's estimated weight is less, while i LOVE big babies, it gives you peace of mind.
You will have this child anyday, and I can't wait to hear the birth story.

[laohaire]

Yeah, I would not allow him to perform any more exams, period. No pelvic checks definitely. Stripping your membranes has very little positive effect (it's quite unlikely it will make you go into labor) and has a lot of risks (such as AROM, the risks of which were already covered).

I don't think I'd report him to the police, they'd laugh and it would make a terrible experience even more humiliating. I would, however, report him to his board or possibly make a complaint with the hospital.

BTW, I'm not surprised in the least he did this. This is standard procedure, and they NEVER tell the woman they are going to do it beforehand.

[aylaanne]

Originally Posted by laohaire

I don't think I'd report him to the police, they'd laugh and it would make a terrible experience even more humiliating. I would, however, report him to his board or possibly make a complaint with the hospital.

They'd better not laugh. If she comes in and says, "I'd like to make a statement about a sexual assault" and they laugh they're in BIG TROUBLE. And it is a sexual assault. Something was done to her sexual organs without her consent, by a person who used their position and authority to convince her that it was okay.

The reason doctors get away with this sh*t is because we let them, we are cowed by them and we believe that nobody will believe us if we tell them how violated and wrong it is. In some countries and cultures, rape of women is a matter of course, and even other women will tell the victim to "get over it" or "not take it so seriously" because it is expected that women will have sex with men.

I have never been assaulted by a doctor and I never will, mostly because I simply don't allow doctors up in my vagina. However that does not mean that women who do allow for a routine pelvic exam deserve to have their membranes stripped or broken without their consent. I believe that it's rape and it's wrong, and as a culture we need to stand up and protest it.

It just makes me so ANGRY. After reading this thread last night I ranted at my husband for half an hour (and, blessing that he is, he listened and supported me) but there is NO EXCUSE for this behavior, none.

[3 little birds]

With my first vbac, I avoided the nst's by stalling and eventually drinking castor oil at almost 42 weeks (which I don't recommend unless you enjoy being miserable). Ds#1 was born at home, that day almost 9lbs. With ds#2 when I went past due, I got a recommendation for a really great acupuncture dr. She was already treating me for anemia. I asked if she could encourage the baby to come and she said she would just let the baby know that it was okay to come now. I had really productive contractions for the rest of the day and my water broke the next morning. Ds was born soon after, also almost 9 lbs.

Also, my sister was told that her dd was almost 9 lbs from an ultrasound and she was born a week later at barely 6 pounds.

HTH!

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by skyblufig

I CANNOT BELIEVE he stripped your membranes without asking you for consent beforehand! Abominable! You're easily the 6th or 7th person I've heard this happened to just in the last 2 weeks! I am so sorry that happened to you -- but please report him to whatever hospital he has privs at, the insurance company, the police, the ACOG. Man, this p*****me off and it didn't even happen to me [this time]. What is with these HCPs just doing whatever they want to do?!

Sorry I will jump off my box now...

Hugs to you, mama -- I'd run from this guy if it were me.

Don't jump off your soap box mama. Your anger is completely understandable.

It makes me so angry too. To the OP, please don't let this go. He had no right to do that to you and your baby :

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Kbrinkley

And, one last thing. He stripped my membrane yesterday without asking or telling me: . The only way I knew he did it was after asking him what he just did and he told me. I bled alot and had HORRIBLE contx for 8 hours last night (8mis apt, never got closer). I have had some tonight...I know they'll go away.

I'm so sorry I came to this thread late. Is your water at least still whole?

Don't let him do any more exams! Keep your pants on! Vaginal exams at this point just make infection more likely.

[Brisen]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you have an uneventful VBAC.

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by aylaanne

They'd better not laugh. If she comes in and says, "I'd like to make a statement about a sexual assault" and they laugh they're in BIG TROUBLE. And it is a sexual assault. Something was done to her sexual organs without her consent, by a person who used their position and authority to convince her that it was okay.

Well, I wasn't thinking they'd laugh at a statement of sexual assault but probably look at her strangely when she explained it was a doctor performing a procedure on her.

I totally hear you, this IS assault. So I'm not at all arguing it isn't. But we live in a culture where the cops are going to go "uh, ok lady" if she goes to them and files an assault charge that involves a so-called medical procedure and not a penis. That's what I think, anyway.

I have only one experience with the cops, it wasn't over anything sexual or assault-related (it was over credit card theft) and they treated me like I was a moron for even bringing it to them (and no it was a credit card THEFT by a professional credit card THIEF not like my sister borrowed it against my wishes or something). So I can't think that the cops would rush to file a charge or complaint against a "medical procedure" that is considered "standard" practice these days.

Besides, I think the medical board is better equipped to deal with such things anyway at this time. But I doubt anything will come of THIS complaint, yet I don't say that to mean that it won't be worthwhile to complain. We should encourage women to make rightful complaints, and I certainly should have complained about the OB who shoved an U/S wand up into my crotch without my consent or even knowledge of what was going to happen.

[laohaire]

Just curious if there were any updates.

[cappuccinosmom]

I am also scared now because they've told me I have this "big" baby...so I feel like natural labor is going to be sooooo much more painful than it would be if the baby was tiny...

This struck me. And I wanted to encourage you. Contractions and the pain you feel are not affected by the size of your baby. If you have a baby with a *huge* head and it comes out quickly, you might tear, but the actual labor itself isn't affected by how big or small your baby is.

And my personal experience:
#1 I was told he would be huge, and he was small.
#2 they guessed right and he was huge, and labor was quick (4 hours) and very, very manageable.